Home & Garden archive

DIY, decorating and de-cluttering; home improvements and recipes: anything vaguely home or garden related gets chucked in here.

Daytime Torture

According to Wikipedia, the United Nations Convention Against Torture defines torture as: any act by which severe pain or suffering, whether physical or mental, is intentionally inflicted on a person So why is there no mention of daytime television in this article? I’m serious. I’ve been at home today because I feel like I’m dying,… read more →

Where Do Swans Go?

No, this isn’t one of life’s little questions like “where do flies go in winter?”, but a genuine concern. Over the last few weeks I’ve been regularly watching two swans on the River Severn. They must have been nesting because there was a built up area of grass on a mini island, on top of… read more →

I’m Not a Drinker, But…

There’s nothing like three quarters of a bottle of white wine on a Sunday evening to relax with, whilst watching the season finale of Grey’s Anatomy. All I need now is a huge bar of chocolate or a tub of bloody gorgeous ice cream (and I have neither, darn). It’s lucky I don’t suffer from… read more →


I am an in such a fucking foul mood this evening. So many stupid things… I spent part of this afternoon re-doing work that I spent almost three hours yesterday polishing off (don’t ask). My face broke out in spots down one side last weekend and they won’t piss off. I look fifteen again. I… read more →

Surreal Like Woah

Picture the scene.. I’m just back from work, lounging on my sofa and looking at some boob porn (ok, it’s just my latest Bravissimo catalogue really) and all of a sudden this male voice appears in my head. Wait, no, it’s not in my head… It wasn’t God trying to communicate (he’d only be telling… read more →

Another Cold, etc.

I’ve got another bloody cold. I’m hoping it won’t affect my testicles this time. None the less I’m playing it safe and drinking lots of orange juice (vitamin c ftw.) Talking of “ftw”, I’m thinking of making this ftw (that’s ‘for the win’) t-shirt my next syswear purchase. I think it’s only fair that after… read more →

A Recipe

1. Take one bottle of white wine 2. Pour generously into large glass 3. Add hilarious show, Mock the Week in this case. 4. Laugh wildly. Result: woken neighbours and sore ribs from laughing so bloody loud. Alcoholism is a pretty good cure for stress though, I have to say. It’s not like me to… read more →

Obligatory Snow Pictures

As some of you are probably already aware, large portions of the UK woke up to a white blanket this morning, and snow continued to fall throughout the day. For me, this is great: I love the snow. It’s like Christmas all over again! Of course, this means that the first thing I did when… read more →