Home & Garden archive

According to Wikipedia, the United Nations Convention Against Torture defines torture as: any act by which severe pain or suffering, whether physical or mental, is intentionally inflicted on a person So why is there no mention of daytime television in this article? I’m serious. I’ve been at home today because I feel like I’m dying,… read more →

My village is slipping into the river (again).… read more →

No, this isn’t one of life’s little questions like “where do flies go in winter?”, but a genuine concern. Over the last few weeks I’ve been regularly watching two swans on the River Severn. They must have been nesting because there was a built up area of grass on a mini island, on top of… read more →

There’s nothing like three quarters of a bottle of white wine on a Sunday evening to relax with, whilst watching the season finale of Grey’s Anatomy. All I need now is a huge bar of chocolate or a tub of bloody gorgeous ice cream (and I have neither, darn). It’s lucky I don’t suffer from… read more →

I am an in such a fucking foul mood this evening. So many stupid things… I spent part of this afternoon re-doing work that I spent almost three hours yesterday polishing off (don’t ask). My face broke out in spots down one side last weekend and they won’t piss off. I look fifteen again. I… read more →

Picture the scene.. I’m just back from work, lounging on my sofa and looking at some boob porn (ok, it’s just my latest Bravissimo catalogue really) and all of a sudden this male voice appears in my head. Wait, no, it’s not in my head… It wasn’t God trying to communicate (he’d only be telling… read more →

I’ve got another bloody cold. I’m hoping it won’t affect my testicles this time. None the less I’m playing it safe and drinking lots of orange juice (vitamin c ftw.) Talking of “ftw”, I’m thinking of making this ftw (that’s ‘for the win’) t-shirt my next syswear purchase. I think it’s only fair that after… read more →

1. Take one bottle of white wine 2. Pour generously into large glass 3. Add hilarious show, Mock the Week in this case. 4. Laugh wildly. Result: woken neighbours and sore ribs from laughing so bloody loud. Alcoholism is a pretty good cure for stress though, I have to say. It’s not like me to… read more →

As some of you are probably already aware, large portions of the UK woke up to a white blanket this morning, and snow continued to fall throughout the day. For me, this is great: I love the snow. It’s like Christmas all over again! Of course, this means that the first thing I did when… read more →