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Surreal Like Woah

 |  Home & Garden, Personal

Picture the scene.. I’m just back from work, lounging on my sofa and looking at some boob porn (ok, it’s just my latest Bravissimo catalogue really) and all of a sudden this male voice appears in my head. Wait, no, it’s not in my head…

It wasn’t God trying to communicate (he’d only be telling me how awesome I am though, right?) just a man from our water company outside with a megaphone telling the neighbourhood that — due to some “emergency repairs” — we’d be losing our supply for two hours. Greeeat. (At least they warned us this time though. Not like last time when we lost supply because our pipe had split and was pissing water all over the road.)

Anyway, so what does super-intelligent code ninja Jem do? After finishing up looking at the bloody expensive (but very nice) bras, I then turn on the tap to fill up the kettle…

Jem Turner +44(0)7521056376

26 comments so far

  1. Annie said:

    Hehe funny post. After you turn on the tap to fill up the kettle… you made a cup of coffee? Or water burst out at you? Or no water came out? :D

  2. Shannon said:

    Ha! I did the same thing a few weeks ago. I was working on a paper on my computer and the power went out. I sat around, thinking of something to do, and came up with a brilliant idea…”I CAN WATCH A MOVIE!” I spent about 10 seconds trying to turn on my TV before it clicked.

  3. Kenna said:

    If you imagined it hard enough it might of worked… sorta. The only thing that I hate when the water supply is shut off or broken for whatever dimwitted reason, is no showers. I drink bottled water anyway. ;)

  4. Mumblies said:

    See now had you filled the kettle from the HOT tap instead of the cold, you would have discovered that you could in fact get water :o) Reason being, your hot tank holds a fair amount of water thats heated, and as soon as you remove water, it would normally be filled back up again by the cold water header tank. See, you should ring your mother more-she knows stuff! hehe

  5. Sarah said:

    See, I’d always pictured you as some tiny little adorable old-hunched-over-English-lady in-the-making, but you ruined all that by letting me and the rest of the world know that _you have large knockers_. Sigh. Haha about your kettle crisis.

  6. Mat said:

    hahaha I love blonde moments, there should be whole blogs dedicated to them. @Jem’s mum: Thanks for sharing that, next time my water is off i’ll remember i can still make a cuppa using the other tap :)

  7. Karl said:

    It’s almost as bad as her going to the loo and flushing it out of habit..with no water still. Tch. Heh..Looks like they fixed it in an hour to be honest..when we went out later there were no workmen still there.

  8. Rachael said:

    Hehe. Clever. Well done. Once my dad told me not to use the water ’cause he was changing the tap. However, I didn’t hear him, so I flushed the loo after, you know… He screamed. Hot water came spurting out of the tap. Whoops!

  9. Brenda said:

    Sounds like something I would do too. :P There was one occasion where I was looking for something all around when “that something” was in my hands all the time.

  10. Josh(ua/y) said:

    How did you realise what the chap was saying? Usually megaphones make even the speech of a really clearly-spoken person sound like “Bhaokiomr yntgio ohggnkoyesu ygno”.

  11. Kryz said:

    It does, indeed, sucks when the bras have to be so expensive. I got curious and looked at the website. Boob porn, indeed, and the way you said it was hilarious. Anyhoo, I liked the new design of the this website. :D

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