Personal archive

Read about my battles with Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), my mental health, surviving both childhood sexual abuse and a 12 year relationship plagued with emotional abuse, as well personal projects / challenges, and anything vaguely Jem-related.

My daughter’s going to college

My daughter collected her GCSEs yesterday and, having successfully achieved the requisite grades for her choice of course, is going to college* in September.

This isn’t really my news to share, so I don’t want to get into the nitty gritty about grades and courses and choices (funny how I used to blog everything and then having kids flipped that upside down) but it feels like too significant a milestone to pass by without comment. I’ve not really done a good job of journaling these since she was a toddler, something I regret now.

I think it feels particularly poignant because of the struggles we’ve had at home and at school over the years (spoilers: undiagnosed autism x 2 isn’t fun), but maybe I’m actually doing an OK job at dragging her up despite my many failings & f*ck-ups?!

I look forward to seeing how college shapes her, and what the next couple of years have in store…

* For my American readers: UK ‘college’ is further education completed after school at age 16-18, generally. USA ‘college’ is more akin to university here.

Up, up and away!

I completed another of my 40 before forty list last week and fulfilled a childhood dream in the process: I went up in a hot air balloon. Shane bought the balloon vouchers for me for Christmas last year, and after redeeming the vouchers with Wickers World we had repeatedly tried to book evening flights, but… read full entry »

Three grey pubes and an ankle sprain

I’ve started writing a post to sum up hitting 40 and a recap on my progress on all the things I wanted to achieve before I hit 40 about 6 times since the start of January and each time I get about one paragraph in and the inspiration just fizzles out. I think it’s partly… read full entry »

I want my mommy

Well, not mine, per se. Anyone’s would do. I’ve been ill, on and off, since about August. A cold that started to mend then covid hit that started to mend then a sinus infection that started to mend and then a cold again… you get the gist. At my weakest, most pathetic moment – when… read full entry »

My first football match

I have to confess that I’ve never been much interested in watching sports. Odd perhaps, for someone who participates and competes in three separate disciplines, but – aside from catching the odd snippet of a big Euros game or highlights of the Olympics shared on social media – watching other people ‘play’ has just never… read full entry »

Peak 1 of 3 complete: Scafell Pike

Last week I successfully climbed Scafell Pike, England’s highest peak, as part of item 3 on my 40 things before I’m forty challenge. I’ve been fascinated with the idea of climbing mountains since I saw a talk by Ed Viesturs (first American to climb all 14 of the “eight-thousander” mountains, and the 5th person to… read full entry »

WordCamp, Italy, and inspiration

I travelled to Turin, Italy for WordCamp Europe 2024 with Gaz last month. This was the first time we’d spent any meaningful amount of time together since our separation – not counting hourly taekwon-do lessons – and so I thought was going to be interesting. Turns out it was fairly uneventful, insomuch that it was… read full entry »

Finding my feet

It is now approximately 2.5 months since Gaz and I mutually agreed our relationship was no longer viable as it was, and just over a month since he moved out. I found the first few days after he left sweet AF. Could have crowned me the Queen of Smugdom as I woke up easy breezy,… read full entry »

Deja vu part two

In my previous post, in which I announced the separation from my husband and likely impending doom of trying to buy him out of the mortgage, I joked that I might have to do Project £20k again. I probably shouldn’t have tempted fate, because as it turns out that this is the number that Gaz… read full entry »