Giving in

 |  Personal, PMDD

I went to the doctors a couple of weeks ago and got my referral for sterilisation as mentioned back in January. The doctor tried to give me non-permanent long term contraceptive options but was obviously content that I had done my research and knew what I wanted as he consented to the referral. I can only hope that it continues to be as simple a process when I see the gynae specialist (must make that appointment).

While I was at the doctors we talked again about the debilitating effect the suspected PMDD has on my life: that I am basically inable to function for 2 out of every 4 weeks. I “gave in” and accepted his recommendation of trying fluoxetine (prozac) which has been shown to be effective in several studies, e.g.:

The marked increase in the number of well-designed placebo-controlled studies in the past decade has established several selective serotonin reuptake– inhibiting antidepressants as effective first-line treatments for this disorder. Both continuous dosing and intermittent luteal dosing strategies lead to rapid improvement in symptoms and functioning.

I say “gave in”, because that’s what it feels like I am doing. Feels like I’m letting it win. Having spent a lifetime stubbornly battling my problems by myself, this feels like a step backwards. Of course it’s not giving in: it’s fighting back. It’s accepting that there are ways to combat the issues I have without driving myself crazy shouldering it alone, or making excuses for myself and my inability to cope.

I’m currently trialling intermittent luteal dosing (second half of my cycle) to see if that helps. The side effects (nausea, loss of appetite, trouble sleeping) are hard going but I feel like they’re starting to pass. I do feel quite zombie-like at the moment, literally spending hours feeling absolutely nothing, but I also have seen a marked improvement in rage responses over the past couple of days. I hope this is *it*, and not a fluke…

Jem Turner +44(0)7521056376

7 comments so far

  1. luci said:

    I don’t think it’s giving in, like you say – it IS fighting back. It’s choosing the hard path. Fingers crossed it helps but… you know what? it also won’t be giving in, or losing, if it doesn’t either :)

  2. Chantelle said:

    Good luck with everything. :) I also want to echo the idea that you’re not giving in. You’re testing out other tools available to you to try to address a problem. You’re fighting back; you’re being brave; you’re being smart. What follows is a horrible analogy, but … there’s no need to stubbornly insist on running about barefoot because it’s “natural” when finding a comfortable pair of shoes may allow for less pain and traveling further/experiencing more. So, use the tools you have available to you.

  3. Raison717 said:

    Not giving in at all.

    I hear your concerns but you’re trying something and that can only be positive. Hope the side effects pass soon x

  4. Natalie Ray said:

    Oh wow, this is all totally over my head with the medical terminology but I do hope you are ok and that this offers you some respite until you can get a permanent solution.x