Self employment / freelancing and mental health issues seem to go hand in hand. The stress of finding work, maintaining momentum, dealing with all the admin etc, not to mention restricted access to Actual Humans (besides the postman) and the feelings of isolation this can bring, lack of holiday and sick pay causing freelancers to […]
Category: PMDD
In 2014, after over a year of tests and alternative therapies, my doctor diagnosed me with PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder). Symptoms include:
- Depression and low mood
- Anxiety, feelings of being “on edge” or out of control
- Feeling suddenly sad or tearful
- Persistent anger and/or irritability
- Decreased interest in usual activities
- Difficulty concentrating
- Lethargy, fatigue
- Sleep problems
- Physical symptoms including breast tenderness, headaches, joint & muscle pain, bloating and weight gain
- Suicide ideation
Since then I’ve tried a range of “fixes” to bring my symptoms under control including radical diets, birth control, anti-depressants, exercise and even sterilisation. These blog archives document my process, my thoughts and feelings, the results of my many experiments and more… welcome to the world of PMDD.
My PMDD is Under Control
For the uninitiated and new readers amongst you, PMDD is an extreme version of PMS/PMT. It can cause cyclical feelings of anxiety, depression, anger and even suicidal thoughts, as well as the physical symptoms typically associated with the menstrual cycle. It’s been over a year since I last talked about my PMDD. When I lost […]
Identity
I was having a conversation with Gaz in bed the other day. You know the type: snuggled up in bed, pillow talk, vulnerabilities exposed, all that shit. And this deep, meaningful conversation — the sort of conversation I can only truthfully have with my fucking wonderful husband — made me suddenly realise that over the […]
Crack on
I started writing a blog post about anxiety yesterday, and perhaps ironically my own was so strong that I ended up deleting it. I spent most of yesterday hiding: hiding from the world, hiding from myself. I was supposed to be going for a run… with a half marathon fast approaching it would be silly […]
AMA: What gets you out of a funk?
I was going to answer my AMA questions in the order they were asked, but having not long come out of a pretty rough few days or so I figured now would be the perfect time to answer Kelly’s question: What gets you out of a funk? The reality with PMDD, which is the root […]
Working in my pants and other tales from self employment
I’ve been working for myself (either fully, or alongside employment) for over four years now. I like to think that I’ve got to grips with what it entails to work for yourself, be your own boss, rock the entrepeneur lifestyle etc etc. Of course, I’m talking out of my bum. It’s not all ‘pant suits […]
An Insight into PMDD aka Today I’m Crazy Because…
Today is day 12 of my cycle, so over the next few days I will be at peak hormone anxiety-ridden mess. To put this into perspective, this is how it’s affected my day so far: I turned down the opportunity to work for a local agency today because I couldn’t face people. My usual day […]
Progesterone, PMDD and a rabbit hole
(Please note this post is more so that I can refer back to important links and notes later on, rather than for you guys. I won’t be offended if you’re not interested or find the whole thing a little TMI…) I’m currently pre-menstrual and, as with all periods (pun) of pre-menses symptoms, I have sore […]
Giving in
I went to the doctors a couple of weeks ago and got my referral for sterilisation as mentioned back in January. The doctor tried to give me non-permanent long term contraceptive options but was obviously content that I had done my research and knew what I wanted as he consented to the referral. I can […]
Living with PMDD (or why I’m regularly crazy)
I’ve only mentioned once (briefly) before that my doctor thinks I have PMDD. It’s mostly because I’m in denial: I’m a “fixer” and if I have an Actual Thing (with capital letters) then I can’t just fix it. I can take things to help — e.g. the doc wants me on low dose prozac — […]