…all I can think to write about is a load of whingy bollocks. And, I also hate it when:
- I (unintentionally) bite the inside of my cheek four times in a row, causing my mouth to swell and bleed, making chewing impossible.
- People talk about me in “private” forums (what’s particularly amusing though, is that there are far too many people out there watching my back who report to me everything that’s said.)
- I feel unmotivated and lacking enthusiasm in re-doing my CMS although I want to do it more than I want to write anything else.
- People re-send me the same e-mail 3 times over a period of a week because they think it’ll make me reply faster. No, it just makes me want to reply with “justfuckinggoogleit.com” you impatient gits.
- I go shopping on a Saturday and by Monday have bugger all in the fridge to eat.
- I need to go all the way out to the car, because we didn’t bring the lemonade up over the weekend.
- I have loads of ideas and suggestions for topics to write on but can’t be arsed to even look at them, let alone construct a valid sentence. Meh.
- Edit: When people turn my comments section into a forum for their own amusement! :o
- Edit (28th/Feb): When people expect me to create them a fully valid, fluid and accessible 3-column CSS layout for nowt more than $5. Cheeky gits. Add a couple of noughts to that figure and you might have a deal.
Oh, and if any of you are interested in my documenting the process of re-writing my CMS, do let me know. I can’t promise it will be entertaining but if enough of you are interested I’ll do it anyway. You never know, you might even learn something (or better yet, teach me something I don’t know.)
PS. I have a new geek t-shirt. :9 I am thinking of buying shares in a t-shirt factory.
26 Feb at 8:34 pm
I bloody hate it when I log on to my computer and the internet and WHAM in the LiveBookmark sits a new entry all gleaming and I’ve got an oppurtunity to make the first comment… yay… but I waste time by pausing to fire up the windows messanger and delete my many morsels of spam (thankfully I’m an idiot so nobody bothers to ask me stuff – . Bah, I can’t type anything that makes any sense remotely. THAT’s what gets one pissed off. Oh what a waste of a comment…….
26 Feb at 8:36 pm
I have no idea what you’re on about, but you made me laugh so it’s all good :)
26 Feb at 8:36 pm
Hi jem i would love to document you CMS re-design/development, drop me an email or something, thanks. P.S. love the t-shirt
26 Feb at 8:44 pm
ZOMG I love the tshirt too but you know what – it would look so much better on my bedroom floor ;) ;) ;) mmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmm
26 Feb at 8:51 pm
i just re-read the post and mis-understood it i would love to read your documenting of the cms re-write!
26 Feb at 8:52 pm
No point, my CMS is far better than your silly one :P :P :P
26 Feb at 9:05 pm
At least my comments match the posts they’re intended for. :P
26 Feb at 9:09 pm
^ So do mine (now)! I worked out that WP must have messed up my comments before I imported them to my CMS – I checked the WP backups and the post/comment things were all messed up in there as well :| No idea why that happened, but then WP is silly :P
26 Feb at 9:47 pm
wordpress is not silly it is great if you met the guy who made it you would be amazed and if you got to pick his brains then you would finshed out how great it is. i would love you to make a CMS that could match WP! Oh yeah and your website is BLAH! :P
26 Feb at 9:50 pm
Hmm.. I’d be interested in your documenting your CMS. I learn best by example (possibly why your PHP tutorials are so easy to understand!) and you doing this would be fantastic!
26 Feb at 9:54 pm
I would love to see how you make this site, it probably the longest ever website that i have followed, i also look at Jem as a role model i would love to follow in you’re footsteps, so seeing this would give me an insight to the way you look at coding and from someones code you can tell what kind of person they are, in my opinion.
26 Feb at 9:55 pm
I think the “silly” was sarcasm. Main Entry: sar·casm Pronunciation: ‘sär-“ka-z&m Function: noun 1 : a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain 2 a : a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual b : the use or language of sarcasm synonym see WIT And, have you met the WP guy? I bet you haven’t. I haven’t met the Vista programmers, yet I can happily state their TV support in Vista sucks donkey..:) You should meet Amelie…you’d be amazed at her sheer geekiness.
26 Feb at 9:55 pm
wp is the bestest code ever I wish I could write php like that :( oh but jem obviously your code is far superior I want to have it’s babies
26 Feb at 9:57 pm
@Grant: My website is blah is it? Oh dear, I’d better delete it then :( I will never come here again, sorry Jem for bothering you with my comments I didn’t realise I wasn’t welcome here :( :( :( I will go and get rid of my site now :)
26 Feb at 9:57 pm
Jem as a role model? You want BREASTS? Ok then… Actually, no chance..them are mine..;) Grow yer own..;)
26 Feb at 10:00 pm
@Kar i have actually he is a 20 something guy who is calm and understanding, he was at a show i was at last year! He is very opinionated and cheerful. As for the vista programmers i cant say i have either :( Also “McGrant” is that your handle or have you reversed my name as a random thing?
26 Feb at 10:01 pm
no it’s my name… are we related? do I know you?
26 Feb at 10:01 pm
Grow my own, can’t say i am that sad to think about things like that. Weird world you must live in!
26 Feb at 10:04 pm
cool my real name is Grant McAllister i dont know are we related?
26 Feb at 10:06 pm
@Grant: Give me time, I can’t delete everything right this second ok?
26 Feb at 10:08 pm
Amelie, stop spamming my comments FFS!! Stop winding Grant up.
26 Feb at 10:08 pm
Weird? No! I.T…all that silicon..mmm…I’m very calm and understanding as well, as it happens. Unless i’m installing Vista and it’s playing stupid buggers. Like now. You’ll grow your own boobs by the age of 30ish..most men do..:) Oh hell. I’m 29. WP is OK. I favour Mambo/Joomla as an educational thing though. To quote the kids at work when I showed them the student support WP based site…”Eww..that’s GAY..”. My site is WP based..but then it does what I want. I could ask Jem to do me another, but..we’re too busy.
26 Feb at 10:10 pm
I always accidentally eat the inside of my cheek! It’s really annoying. It’s like I have this subconscious urge to chew through my own face…
26 Feb at 10:11 pm
@Grant: Ok, done. :)
26 Feb at 10:11 pm
fair point Karl, maybe you should join a jym might delay the whole male breast process lol!
26 Feb at 10:12 pm
oh wow that’s so strange because my name is Alistair McGrant! I live in america and me and jem are going to elope and get married one day
26 Feb at 10:14 pm
Hah, no. I’m bony naturally. No boobs on me. That’s what happens when i’m carrying broken PCs around all day and throwing Jem over my shoulder. I might just get a bike though.
26 Feb at 10:16 pm
Liar.
26 Feb at 10:17 pm
Go fuck a duck :p
26 Feb at 10:22 pm
Wow. I’d join in, but I’m too exhausted. :(
26 Feb at 10:25 pm
cool Karl seems to be a fireman rescuing jem in the bedroom and jem is a poet!
26 Feb at 11:56 pm
…I would comment, but I really don’t follow this entire ‘thing’ that’s going on here. So I leave it at: I bet my life sucks harder than your life does!!!
27 Feb at 12:26 am
I hate it when I right absolutely perfect code and it doesn’t work. Yeah. I also chew through my face. I once broke through my cheek. There was a HOLE there. Pretty cool but hurt like frick.
27 Feb at 12:27 am
I just have to leave a “wtf” note in regards to Steven’s comment. I can only assume that he’s not serious.
27 Feb at 12:50 am
@Rose: I hope so too. Jem, your geek T-shirts make me drool with envy :P I’d love to see you document re-writing your CMS – I’ve always wondered how people do it. Hopefully I’ll get the motivation to buy a PHP book and maybe in a year write my own scripts.
27 Feb at 1:08 am
Biting the inside of one’s mouth-Stop doing it, then it wont hurt People talking about you behind your back-Do you really care? Unmotivated and lacking enthusiasm-Surely everybody deserves to be lazy sometime? People sending the same email over and over-Don’t you just love that “delete” button? Never any food in the fridge-Sellotape Karl to the sette then he can’t scoff it all Lemonade trip-Window/rope/bucket-saves lugging it all up the stairs Ideas and suggestions for topics-Why bother? Play Animal Crossing instead It’s more fun Karl with man-boobs? ROFL can’t see it somehow, seen more meat on a butcher’s pencil. Karl throwing you over his shoulder? On his diet? Another T shirt? you are addicted Jem lol Hope you cheer up soon though, don’t like to see you miserable
27 Feb at 1:39 am
O.o … I am…speechless… Jem, I think your comment section deserves a fanlisting…
27 Feb at 2:33 am
When you say go f*** a duck, what would the children turn out like!? haha just kidding! :) Oh, by the way, my real point for posting this was to ask if what you posted was more less a warning to everyone comming to your site, and to ask if those are your largest pet peeves. ?
27 Feb at 2:37 am
When you say go f*** a duck, what would the children turn out like!? haha just kidding! :) Oh, by the way, my real point for posting this was to ask if what you posted was more less a warning to everyone comming to your site, and to ask if those are your largest pet peeves. ?
27 Feb at 3:01 am
Sweet new T-shirt! And investing in a T-shirt factory may not be a bad idea. The profit margins on clothing are usually huge! All of those things are super annoying. Good luck dealing with them, ’cause they’re not gonna stop anytime soon.
27 Feb at 3:07 am
Jem, now you’ll get searches for “duck fucking,” since you posted that “fuck a duck” reply, and great, now for my new duck fucking keywords. duck fucking galore!
27 Feb at 9:40 am
“I go shopping on a Saturday and by Monday have bugger all in the fridge to eat.” YES omg its so true!!! your tshirts rule! I want one that says “no, I will not fix your computer” lol ;) I’d be interested to see how you go about upgrading your script! I’ve decided I’m going to have a go at some PHP….when I find the time!
27 Feb at 1:08 pm
I can’t wait to hear about your serch logs sometime soon… “fuck a duck” and “man boobs” strange!!
27 Feb at 1:30 pm
oh jem please do write how you were able to come up with your CMS :D hehe
27 Feb at 6:52 pm
That shirt made me giggle.
27 Feb at 8:12 pm
I’d definitely be interested in you commeting on re-writing your CMS!
27 Feb at 8:33 pm
You commenting on making the CMS, jem – spiffing. I have not yet any knowlege of PHP so “going in at the deep end” metaphorically, by reading whatever is documented, would be a real humdinger of an activity.
27 Feb at 8:38 pm
Damn, you’re like a celeb since they talk about you in private forums, hehe :P
28 Feb at 2:04 pm
I have a potentially dumb question: Which one is the new geek t-shirt? I dont remember which ones you had before (even tho ive visited that page like a million times). Is it the User Error one?
28 Feb at 2:13 pm
@Ian: “Geeks are for life, Not just for computer breakdowns” :)
28 Feb at 5:22 pm
would you ever release your cms?
28 Feb at 5:24 pm
.. no.
28 Feb at 9:39 pm
Jem you need to update your past layout just been having a wee look through very nice what age did you make that first site?
28 Feb at 10:54 pm
yeah jem you should update the layouts page so it’s easier for other people to steal big chunks of your layout and text and stuff
01 Mar at 12:07 am
@Grant Mc and McGrant: Have you ever heard of periods? Or a new grammatical invention called sentences? They are quite useful, rather than your mush of words that are not capitalized or anything of that sort.
01 Mar at 12:17 am
periods are what women get every month. that little dot is called a full stop :P
01 Mar at 6:11 pm
@ Kathleen – i thought the same as Katy zlso i knew what you meant to say, haven’t you ever heard or a 15 typing on a keyboard trying to keep it quick!
01 Mar at 6:13 pm
@Mcgrant – WTF, if you looked at jems past layout page you would see its a gallery with NO CODE to steal fool
02 Mar at 12:31 am
@Katy: In the United States, we call them periods, not full stops. :) Just a bit of cultural education for you.
02 Mar at 8:03 pm
yes, I am fully aware of that thank you…