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In defence of spur of the moment decisions

 |  Personal

I think often as a grown up, being able to spend time thinking about and rationalising decisions before acting them out is considered a desirable trait. Sleep on it, we’re told. Write pro/con lists and weigh up consequences.

I say bollocks to that.

Last year I came out of a counselling session with the realisation that my relationship was toxic. I ended it straight away.

A week later Tony mentioned OKCupid on twitter and I suddenly decided I need to get laid (classy bird, me) so I signed up and uploaded the first picture of my face to grace the interwebs in over 10 years. I found Gaz. (Although he says that picture was terrible. Nice to know.)

Not so long after that, Gaz and I met. I made a decision that night which worked out pretty well…

While I was on holiday with the kids earlier this year, I woke early one morning and decided to ask Gaz to move in with me. He said yes. (He moves in this weekend.)

A month or so ago I suddenly decided I needed to quit my job. I asked Gaz if it would be a terrible idea. He said it was … but I did it anyway. I have all of my original clients’ ongoing support and jobs booked in the calendar til September.

So, you know… maybe spur of the moment decisions aren’t so bad. After so many years of letting my head talk me out of everything, letting my heart rule for a while seems to be working out OK.

Jem Turner +44(0)7521056376

11 comments so far

  1. MrsB | Mind over Matter said:

    So cool :) I’m too scared to make quick life-changing decisions now but thankfully I don’t feel that I need to! I did once upon a time, at the ripe age of 24, get married, in a country I’d never been to before, to a guy who I’d been in a long distance relationship with for a year and only seen him in person a few times in that time. The best crazy decision I ever made :)

  2. Matt said:

    I am starting to come around to that way of thinking. Sitting and worrying, and not doing, leads only to more sitting and worrying and not doing.

    Hope you and Gaz are happy!

    • Jem said:

      Exactly – the more I dwell on stuff the more I seem to be unable to act. Just got to take a chance sometimes.

      Cheers Matt

  3. Trisha said:

    You’ll never know until you try so sometimes you just have to go for it! Overthinking can keep you from actually enjoying yourself (I’m saying this based on experience). So as long as you are happy, keep on taking little leaps. ;)

  4. Heather said:

    For most of my life I made my choices based on what was “right,” “good,” and expected of me. I saw things as black and white, right and wrong. It kept me from living, from taking risks, and from making the choices I needed to. When I left my ex and moved cross-country, I was making the right decisions for me.

    I haven’t posted about it in as much detail as you have, but I’ve related to all of your posts about your ex. It seems we both found the courage to do what we needed to and have continued to do so. I’m glad things are going well for you. :)

  5. Danielle said:

    This is so inspirational and reassuring. There have been so many times that I have thought myself out of doing something that seemed like a “good idea” at first. Not that it was never a good idea, maybe just slightly irrational at first.

    So glad to see things working in your favor!

  6. Chantelle said:

    Nice. Well done!

    I like to think that I make spur-of-the-moment decisions, but the truth is that I don’t. I think about things for long periods of time and on random days, when I tire of thinking, I spontaneously act on them (which I don’t think quite counts as spur-of-the-moment). When it comes to little things like food, shopping, and where to spend a day, I can decide in a moment, but for more serious things, I should figure out to how relax just a little bit more.

  7. Tara said:

    I’m glad your spur of the moment decisions ended up well for you! I generally do not make spontaneous decisions. In fact, my last real decision like that was to quickly agree to go on a trip to Japan with one of my bosses. I can’t say it was a good decision, per se, but I did learn from it. At least I did get to see a part of Japan I didn’t see before XD; But most of my decisions are ones that I’ve thought about for a bit. Some short as an hour and some long as like months . . . doing this is just something I do because I like to think of all possibilities and see if the pros and cons are okay.

    But to each their own. Sometimes you just have to seize the day :) Sometimes you have to take things slowly. It ultimately depends on the individuals and the circumstances. And it’s clear that things have worked for you ^^

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