Unexpected Feelings, Work, etc

Today I returned to work. Walking out of the door this morning was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my entire life; I felt like I was abandoning my daughter. Of course, I wasn’t… and she enjoyed her day with her Nannies (my mum and Lou) so barely noticed I’d gone. Work was OK and the day went fairly fast. Doesn’t mean I am looking forward to tomorrow but at least I didn’t cry. ;)

Anyway, I was sat at my desk banging out code when I started thinking about my own sites. I actually surprised myself over how… uh… ‘unbothered’ (better word?) I am over the little empire I’ve built for myself. I seemed to have this expectation pre-Izz that I’d have her, and somehow be able to continue as normal with my sites (both the time and financial aspect!) As it turns out, I barely have time to wipe my arse let alone maintain code and databases etc. Further to that, my interests are so ridiculously different it’s crazy.

I know I’ve said this before (time and time again) but I am going to cut right back. I have an exam in a few days I’ve not revised for, work, 2+ websites at home on the go PLUS, of course, Isabel. It’s not physically possible to fit all that in… unless I want to give up sleep.

Firstly, I’m ending development on Bella[Buffs/Buzz/Blocks]. If anyone wants to adopt these scripts from me, please get in touch and we can discuss. Providing I trust your ability and intentions I will redirect all relevant traffic to your site/s.

I will be handing power of rev.iew.me over to a few selected moderators (whom I’ll choose myself) for the time being.

I am going on long term hiatus from the quilting bee; technical support will be offered as normal but Melissa will be taking my place as Queen until further notice. I am confident in her affection for and dedication to the club :)

The ‘new’ tutorialtastic will be pushed live as a priority.

Snark manages itself/is well supported by current mods so will be fine as-is

NinjaLinks development is on hold but both it and my mail form will be moved to my ‘professional’ domain, jemturner.co.uk. My PHP/SEO/etc posts from over the years will be following suit asap (which gives me a space to talk work without boring non-geeks). As a consequence, this site will become more personal focused: family, life, cats, rambling, etc (which gives me a space to talk mummy without boring the geeks). There will likely still be a certain amount of geek going on, but that’s just unavoidable as it’s who I am. :p

Err… I think that’s it for now. May cull further? Don’t know yet. Phew. Letting go is hard work.

10 comments so far

  1. Trish said:
    On 15 Nov at 9:06 pm

    Well, I can’t relate on the baby part, but I know what it feels like to be overwhelmed and have to give things up.

  2. Jordan said:
    On 15 Nov at 9:10 pm

    Wow, that’s a lot you’re going to step back from but you know what, you will seriously feel 100% less reliable. I do the same thing all the time with projects. I stack them up until they start teetering and the best thing I could have done was to organize and prioritize them to see what I would be best devoting my time to.

    Instead of working in spurts for each, now I definitely feel like I have more time for the ~3 projects now. Although I still get the urge to start another new project and I have to remind myself how much I already had to kill off :\

    Glad to see that you’re holding onto Snark though! :) It was the first site I thought would be on your list too so I was surprised to see you say it’s fine for now :D.

  3. Amanda said:
    On 15 Nov at 10:49 pm

    Letting go is tough, but I’m sure you’ve thought about this a lot. Isabel is, and should be, your first priority and I think anyone can respect your decisions because of that. Why put so much time, effort and money into something your heart isn’t into anymore? Do what’s right for you.

  4. Kitty said:
    On 16 Nov at 12:17 am

    Oh wow! This is a major news ever since you announced you were expecting. I hope whoever is going to take over the scripts development would do an awesome job as you did.

    I do think you need the step back. After all one there’s only so much a person can take at one time. Baby, work, exam, house chores, etc, I’m beginning to see it all.

  5. Vera said:
    On 16 Nov at 5:37 am

    Though I can’t say I expected this, as you’re always so dedicated with your projects, I can fully understand this. It’s scary though when I think about it, how similar I feel now. Sure I don’t want a kid in the near future, but when I do have one, I also felt like I’d be able to get back into things like usual.

    Heh, you did "grow up" whether you like to admit it or not. So don’t try to tell me you’re still immature :P

    Oh and… um when will we know who these trusty moderators are? :P

  6. Majanka said:
    On 16 Nov at 10:20 am

    Children require all sorts of sacrifices, or so they say :P To be honest, I can totally understand where you are coming from, and it’s more important to spend time with little Isabel than working on scripts for us. :-) I’m looking forward to the changes you’ll make and to reading both the blog posts on your professional site, and the ones here (on the more family related site :P)

  7. Georgina said:
    On 16 Nov at 1:24 pm

    I hope you find someone who can adopt your scripts and, who knows, further develop them. I’d hate to see them go at all. I know next to nothing about PHP, so I’m totally not the person you’re looking for. :P

    I feel like I’ve also personally changed over time, and have different preferences and interests, which is why a lot of my own websites have closed over time. Letting go is pretty hard haha. I used to pixel cute little things and got over it quick; I can’t believe I had the time and patience. A couple of years ago I feared that being so busy would lead all my websites to "death" and eventually all I’d have is a personal blog. But now that things seem to be headed a little more in that direction… I don’t mind. :)

    Wishing you all the best for the rest of November and adjusting to work!

  8. Naomi said:
    On 16 Nov at 2:17 pm

    Hope the changes aren’t too tricky, now I can read your blog regularly without fear of excess geekiness! I look forward to your parenting rambles, and any geeky followers should continue reading cos if you don’t yet have kids, you might one day, and could do worse than learning from jem :-p

  9. Melissa said:
    On 16 Nov at 3:30 pm

    Tough decisions to make. But I have much respect for your courage to reorganize your priorities and your self-realization. :D I think you’ll prolly be much happier in the long run… that’s one reason why I haven’t released my site as-is. I refuse to not be completely satisfied with it, because of last year’s botched release, and I don’t want it to just die from neglect. People can wait and/or get over it! At some point you gotta take care of what YOU need first. :)

  10. Stephanie said:
    On 16 Nov at 11:12 pm

    I think Rose (lifeasrose) should take over the Bella~ scripts. That’s just me.

    Otherwise, does that mean you’ll have time to exchange e-mails with me again? ;)