Pants: i D A R R Y L’ [d0t] NET


I received an e-mail just after New Year, nominating today’s Pants Award recipient. I still haven’t decided what I’m actually going to do with the Pants series, so I was tempted to just delete the e-mail… and then I opened the website.

i D A R R Y L’ [d0t] NET is… startling. I mean, not just the fact the owner obviously thinks he looks cool giving everyone the finger, but it’s such a jumble of different styles and colours. The “layout” is actually a huge, slow-loading png and believe it or not, the sidebar/content offset is intentional! (C.R.A.P – the A stands for Alignment for a reason.)

The welcome message proudly states:

I Think You Should Know That My Site Get Over 50-100 Unique Hits Daily

…but I’m not entirely sure why — 50-100 isn’t a high number. Kudos and all, but everyone knows that if you’re going to brag about something, you should at least make sure it’s worth bragging about first. Maybe when there’s a few more zeros on that figure I’ll be impressed.

The entire site is Typed Like This; I find it tedious to read for more than a few seconds at a time. I lost count of the amount of spelling errors I saw before even leaving the front page… “Resgister”, “Alot”, “exists” (exits), “Walpapers”. Underlined, bold and italic text are all randomly styled and I quickly gave up on finding links by scanning through — I was left having to hover over every piece of coloured and underlined text to double-check.

In the text under the title “WebMaster” I read with interest that the owner’s mum is a lawyer and his dad a judge. It begs the question, then, why he feels he can get away with distributing music and videos via his “imusic” subdomain — blatant copyright infringement. For a talented boy (his words) that’s a pretty stupid decision.

The “content” is just as bad as the layout. Typical “HTML Help”: textareas, deprecated tags and inline styles. Badly edited celebrity photographs for which credit is demanded. The About page is littered in egotistical bullshit — enough to put my tagline to shame — and contadicts other text on the site (“Im Straight And Single” -> “currenlty taken by someone of 2 years“)

The coding is littered with font tags, <center> and <u>; header tags are used but for text that couldn’t even be remotely classed as a header; 4-5 pointless JavaScript snippets adding to the bulk; constant repeated properties in the CSS (what happened to the cascade part of CSS?); two body tags; and unnecessary absolute positioning.

Darryl: you seem like a sweet boy, but this “gangster”/”cool dude” attitude makes you look like a plonker. You’re bragging about content that everyone else has already done better, and a design that really doesn’t do your so-called 3 years experience credit. If you’re going to offer resources to your visitors, you owe it to them to do it properly. For not even trying, you get the 15th Pants Award:

15th Pants Award

Stop listening to your kiss-ass commenters and sort your site out.

Jem Turner +44(0)7521056376

62 comments so far

  1. Nellie said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 10:43 am

    Is it bad that I’m really disappointed that his site isn’t loading for me?

  2. Catherine said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 11:03 am

    Aw, it’s not even loading for me. :/ Now that really sucks.

  3. Vera said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 11:15 am

    I can’t access the site in questions… and was sooo looking forward to seeing it :|

    Also, I see that this entry currently has no comments, yet the heading says Comments(2). Did you try to tweak something in your code?

  4. Annie said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 11:33 am

    I can’t access the site either. Ah well, I probably would have given up reading the site, being that it was written "the cool" way and all.

    For some reason I was expecting a pair of female panties to show, ha ha.

  5. Holly said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 11:58 am

    LMAO oh dear. His site appears to have disappeared! I’m…actually kind of sad! :(

  6. Tracy said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    Too bad the site won’t work :(

  7. Caasi said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 12:28 pm

    Awwww. It’s dead already.

  8. Aisling said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 12:53 pm


  9. Caity said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    Oh no! Another person takes their site down because of the dreaded Pants Award! I’d totally display it proudly… at least then my page would probably have about 1000 unique hits per day from people coming to my site from here. :P

  10. Lauren said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    Oh man, I wanted to see it. But your description pretty much tells us what it looks like, I guess. And I agree with Caity: I’d totally keep my site up! This site is getting a ton of hits and it’s not even there!! XD

    P.S. I love the pants award! Keep ’em coming!

  11. Cecelia said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 2:04 pm

    I couldn’t access it to be begin with, but it works fine now..

    My favourite part must be his description of himself: "My designing skillz are beyond DOPE". Sure..

  12. Scott said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 2:11 pm

    LOL. You have to laugh at people like this. By no means is my website, spelling or grammar perfect, but his is just awful.

  13. Aisling said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 2:28 pm

    Ooh. I see it now! Kind of wish I hadn’t. It’s a personal site WITH CONTENT. Wowwww. Like THAT needed mentioning. :P

    "My designing skillz are beyond DOPE"? Um. Yeah, that’s pretty accurate. Looks like he hot boxed himself in his room for a few days before designing that. ;)

  14. Scott said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 2:37 pm

    I found two dead links on your articles page: Personal website ads and trendy javascript which both lead to your homepage.

  15. RiN said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    The link wasn’t working for me too but now it’s working..

  16. Peter said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    You probably brought his site down when you first posted it! XD Soon he’ll probably change to "this website gets 800-1000 unique hits a day" :P.

  17. Amber said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 3:24 pm

    Add taking forever to load to the list of faults.

    That was an eyesore of a site. I didn’t have it in me to read past the first couple of lines of blog text. I thought my eyes would fall out of their sockets.

    I think this is one of the most deserving awards you’ve given out.

  18. Mimi said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 4:06 pm

    UGH was the first word that came to mind. I didn’t even notice the finger until you mentioned it, but I did notice his whole "i am awesome, worship me" attitude. UGH again. I think his site is making my firefox lag D:

  19. Trish said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 4:29 pm

    He sounds like a brat.
    "So Im Am A Very Talented Boy I Come From A Long Line Of Rich Folks In My Family."
    And he offers hosting? Why would you want hosting from someone who can’t even spell exits?

  20. Vera said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 4:44 pm

    I wish I hadn’t visited…
    His links page is called "exists" and he offers "graphicsz"… very nice. I’m hooked already *rolls eyes*

  21. Melissa said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    "Im 15 But Say Im 16 Because My Birthday Is Coming Up Very Soon [YAY]"

    I got stuck at that for a few minutes before reading more.

    I love how people think that just because they think they know the code for something then they have to incorporate it in their design. When did marquee tags become so popular again? I see them everywhere on sites that are worthy of Pants Awards :(

    Oh well, at least he’ll probably get a bit more than 50-100 hits a day for the next few days after this post Jem.

  22. Naco said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    If he comes from such a rich family, maybe he should hire someone to make his layout for him next time. And his content. Hell, he should pay someone to re-do the whole thing. Because his site very lol worthy.

  23. Niki said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 5:17 pm

    I just laughed when I saw this site. I don’t like the blurred header images at all. They’re really annoying, as well as Him Typing Everything With Capitals. That would take a while. When I saw the "Elite Affies" section, I hovered over the huge boxes and at first it didn’t say that they were links, so I thought he was just putting up boxes to LOOK like he has them. But then I hovered over them again and it worked. Awe, too bad for that theory. It would’ve been hilarious. :D

  24. Cristina said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 5:30 pm

    That site hurt my eyes on so many levels. I don’t understand the people who need to capitalize so many letters or every other letter, for that matter; it has to be exhausting!

    89 coding errors… yuck! :P

  25. Mumblies said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 5:33 pm

    Yay! I just love the pants awards. Keep them coming Jem :)

  26. Chans said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 5:49 pm

    OK I think I’m temporarily blind at the moment from the bright colours. But no matter how bad his site is (and I think he deserves the pants award) he still gets more unique visitors than me, so somewhere I must be doing something wrong….

  27. Liz said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 5:57 pm

    Finally new pants :D
    OWWW my eyes! O.o what is his layout? UGH too many neon colors, text too squished together and bolding/underlining everything is such a disaster.

  28. Liz said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    On his about me "Im so handsome && im not the smartest BOY, but im ya avergae." …."Well enough about that this boy right is a HANDSOME little fella && his friendly lmao."
    Oh, I wouldn’t say he was conceited at all.

  29. Sarah said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 6:47 pm

    Already I’m confused. In his sidebar:

    "My Mother Is A Lawyer And Dad’s A Judge"

    and then on his about page:

    "My dad is a dead beet but i dnt want to TALK about it;)"

    He must really have hated his dad to put a ;) at the end. Someone’s got their story all muddled. I’m beginning to feel sorry for him…

  30. Christina said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 7:23 pm

    LOL! Arwen @ found that site and when she showed it to me, I decided you needed to see it. I didn’t even look at it long enough to notice half of the things you’ve mentioned. Kudos to you for being able to look at it for that long without having to deal with your eyes bleeding!

  31. Clem said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 7:44 pm

    OH LORD. D: That is just terrible. "I am giving the world the finger, I must be cool!"

  32. Maja said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 7:49 pm

    I’m not getting involved, just want to make a note.. Did anyone notice how obscenely long his finger was ?

  33. Lauren said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 8:38 pm

    I can see it now and, like Aisling, I wish I hadn’t. Ewww, I totally agree about giving him the pants!!

    @ Maja: Yes, I actually did notice that! If your gonna give people the finger, you don’t need to digitally enlarge it. lol

  34. Christine said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 9:39 pm

    Well, it loaded for me right away and…

    Wow. A pants worthy site if I ever saw one.

    I don’t think I’ve ever see anyone capitalize like that. It’s horrific. It boggles my mind.

    There’s a second picture of him giving the finger in his picture gallery. Maybe he doesnt realize it’s rude? ~_~

    And I can’t believe the background is one giant picture… O_o

  35. Li said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 10:23 pm

    His site looks like some of those MySpace content sites owned by 14 year old emo kids.
    And the text on his site makes me want to rip my eyes out. :(

  36. Jem said:
    On January 24, 2009 at 11:30 pm

    Those of you who didn’t get to see before the owner put it in to maintenance mode can view the screenshot:

  37. Nat Marie said:
    On January 25, 2009 at 12:22 am

    WTF’s the deal with the blur all over?! And he having a picture all over his layout? Uh…no. I thought that went out of style a long time ago.

  38. Marie said:
    On January 25, 2009 at 1:30 am

    Oh lawd, he’s taken by a two-year-old D:

    This is a real gem, I like his bio info on how he’s from a long line of rich people. You may have come from a "long line" of "rich" people, but you didn’t come from a long line of people with any sort of taste.

    He should also win the tacky pants award (perhaps stick a feather and a few rhinestones on his prize).

  39. Rachel said:
    On January 25, 2009 at 3:08 am

    D: I got here too late…he took his site down for a "revamp". v_v But I wanted to poke fun and laugh, too!

  40. Kaylee said:
    On January 25, 2009 at 3:37 am

    What A Blooper! … It is so tiring to read Typing Like This.

    I like those pants :)

  41. C Hal said:
    On January 25, 2009 at 7:24 am

    LMAO! Nice screen shot. I know people who ‘design’ like that, but they usually do it when they’re drunk.

  42. Ilona said:
    On January 25, 2009 at 8:24 am

    Dammit, I’m too late! D:

    "Your Ultimate Personal Blog W| Personal Content"
    "Im Here To Bring You The Best Of The Best Graphicsz"

    Re: Naco Sat 24th Jan 2009 @ 17:03
    If he *really* comes from such a rich family, maybe he should hire someone to teach him grammar and spelling. ;)

  43. Anthony said:
    On January 25, 2009 at 9:22 am

    I think it’s safe to say that he’s another one of those kids who lies about his life to impress people. He makes cool graphics, has a rich family… etc etc. It’s quite sad that people feel the need to boast and brag to complete strangers over the internet. He seems like a real jerk/every-other-insulting-word. His site looks like total crap. Did he say the alignment was off on purpose? More like it was an accident and he doesn’t know how to fix it. So he just says it’s on purpose, why would you purposely do that?
    50-100 ahha, no comment.

  44. Ann said:
    On January 25, 2009 at 10:47 am

    Maja: I was about to point out exactly the same thing. It’s like… he has a deformity. Maybe there’s one in the creative section of his brain, too?

  45. Jem said:
    On January 25, 2009 at 12:01 pm

    Ouch; I don’t think we need personal attacks. This is purely about his website, nothing more.

  46. Larissa said:
    On January 25, 2009 at 12:14 pm

    I was reading his blog on the screenshot you took, it must take him ages to write a blog and capitalize every word. o_o

    This Took Me Ages To Type, My Hand Keeps Touching The Shift Key.. >_<

    Great blog Jem and the pants are cool haha :D

  47. Arwen said:
    On January 25, 2009 at 3:25 pm

    You should’ve taken a screencap! His site is "under revamp" now. I’m glad you took my nomination for this Pants Award. :D

  48. Diana said:
    On January 25, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    Aww poop, I wanted to see the contentz.

    The blogs look like Some Kind Of Epic Odyssey Title, No?

  49. Aggie said:
    On January 26, 2009 at 12:25 am

    It’s too bad it’s under revamp. I wish I could have seen it. I love your pants awards. ^^;

  50. Kachii said:
    On January 26, 2009 at 1:45 am

    Thanks for the screenshot, Jem. I can’t quite tell from it, however, if he actually /types/ his words capitalised, or if he uses the CSS to do it… doesn’t it take more effort to type that way than its worth?

  51. Aimee said:
    On January 26, 2009 at 2:41 am

    … wow.

  52. Olivia said:
    On January 26, 2009 at 3:20 am

    Hm, I’ve run across that site before.

    Hopefully he will take all the free exposure, and come back with something great.

    I feel quite certain he has "text-transform: capitalize;" somewhere in his coding.

  53. Andie said:
    On January 27, 2009 at 1:27 am

    my brain hurts after looking at that site…

  54. Terri said:
    On January 27, 2009 at 4:42 am

    Ok. Yeah. I might have made a site like that, say, 10 years ago?

  55. Elea said:
    On January 27, 2009 at 11:11 am

    You know what’s depressing? Viewing that screenshot and then going over my own blog stats and realizing that his site is much more popular than mine. Oh, internets. How you’re letting me down!

    On a more relevant note: hrm, I think every site that you’ve bestowed the Pants honour on has gone on to revamp or shut down right after! Your influence is astonishing!

  56. Mike Haddad said:
    On January 27, 2009 at 8:36 pm

    The site is being redone. I missed all the fun.

  57. Mimi said:
    On January 29, 2009 at 11:02 pm

    Thanks for the screenshot and thanks for more Pants, Jem! I have been anxiously awaiting more Pants! I feel kinda bad for the kid but well, you can let your emotions rule your life, eh? Haha, kidding.

    More pants! Please don’t rid the net of the Pants!

  58. Georgina said:
    On January 30, 2009 at 5:06 am

    Darn, he’s on some ‘revamp’. But you gave a description enough for me to imagine really eye-soring things.

  59. Anita said:
    On February 3, 2009 at 7:43 am

    Maybe you should post that screenshot of the website (notice how I didn’t even bother to try and say the name right), since a lot of people didn’t read ALL the comments, and might not have seen you post it. :P

  60. Anita said:
    On February 3, 2009 at 7:46 am

    Oooh, wait, never mind. The site works now. :3
    A…little better…

  61. Liz said:
    On February 8, 2009 at 2:59 am

    He changed his site to some demonic looking puppy thing O.o ahhhh
    "My designing skillz are beyond DOPE" Ahahaha
    More pants!

  62. Jamie S said:
    On February 4, 2010 at 8:45 am

    I’m certainly not a "web-master" or anything but that was was just a crap site. I only got to look for your screenshot though because the site isn’t working.