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I Told a Few White Lies

 |  Parenting, Personal

I have a small confession to make… I’ve been telling you all a few little porkies. I keep telling you all I’m sick — well, there’s no untruth in that — but I’ve fabricated as to why. There is no mystery sickness, there are no allergies, I’m not coming down with swine flu (hah). In fact, the sickness is all very “normal” for a woman in my condition.

I am in fact suffering from a bad case of morning sickness. And by morning sickness, I mean every minute of the day sickness. From the moment I wake up and bring up saliva and bile, to the point of the evening where I can’t move for fear of setting off crazy motion-induced projectile vomiting. Eating actually offers me some small relief, but only if I eat small amounts and often. The food has to be bland, and food that is safe one day may actually be sickness-inducing the next. Garlic is a total no-no, and I literally fear any food that may be slightly acidic coming back up, because it seriously burns. However, I have found that sweet tea generally tastes the same either way.

I am 12 weeks pregnant today. There have been some difficulties (some bleeding which required fortnightly scans; a possibly problematic cyst) and an endless stream of pretty standard symptoms (aches, tiredness, headaches, terrible dreams, wind, heartburn) but otherwise everything is positive. The constant waiting for appointments, improvements in the bleed, for the sickness to go away is incredibly tedious, but if all goes well, it should be worth it in the end:

ultrasound scan pic

(Excuse the dodgy quality, I had to take the picture of the scan photo using the webcam on the Acer as we don’t have a scanner. Don’t get your hopes up too much either, I have absolutely no intention of publishing any other pictures.)

So there you have it. Finally, all those years of doing the “I’m Pregnant!” April fools and it’s actually happening for real … even if it does look like a little alien :)

Jem Turner jem@jemjabella.co.uk +44(0)7521056376

160 comments so far

  1. Melissa said:

    YAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    You know I’m so super happy for you I soooo am!!! YAY YAY YAY! :D I’m so glad that everything is getting better and I hope that they keep doing so!! :D YAY!!!!!! :D <3 <3 <3

  2. Aisling said:

    EEEEEEE. I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU. Seriously, all that stuff this morning was just CRAZINESS. And I’ve been absolutely giggly since you told me. :P Gah. I need to buy you a gift. So, make a wishlist or something. Hehehehehehe.

    / craziness.

  3. Vixx said:

    The twelve week mark is finally here – woohoo!

    Massive congratulations. I’m so, so happy for you both. Just prepare yourself now: dignity is not an option. Don’t say I didn’t warn you …

    Take care. Hopefully those symptoms will start receding now!
    V xx

  4. Claire said:

    Oh my god!!! I am SO SO happy for you and Karl – how amazing – congratulations!

    I hope you have a healthy and happy pregnancy/birth/baby – and please pass my congratulations onto the new Dad-to-be. :)

  5. Sarah said:

    Oh my gosh, congratulations!! =D I hope everything is fine ^_^
    Hehe it sort of looks like an owl, unless I’m looking the wrong way o_O

  6. Tanya said:

    Congratulations! I have a confession to make too… I’ve been suffering from morning sickness for the past month as well, lol. If you would like some advice on what things have helped keep it under control, just say the word, although you’re actually a week or two more pregnant than I am so chances are you don’t need any more help. :)

    Congrats again!

  7. Hev said:

    WHAT!!!!!!!!!!! I am completely speechless! Congrats Jem & Karl! I honestly don’t know what to say besides that. But I what I am going to do about it. *wink* You also get lots of hugs from me, dear.

    Umm…I don’t know if it works for morning sickness, but peaches in heavy syrup calms my nausea down. You may want to try it. I usually try spoons of the syrup first until the nausea calms down then eat the peaches. After that then eat what you think you can. That is how I usually handle my really bad nausea days. But I don’t know how it will work with morning sickness.

  8. Angela said:

    OMG! CONGRATS to the both of you! I’m so happy for you! I hope your morning sickness passes quickly and the rest of the pregnancy goes smoothly for you two!

  9. Riitta said:

    Wow! I really did not see that coming (not that I know you well, but anyway) and my jaw literally dropped when I opened the page and saw the ultrasound picture. Wow. :D

    The warmest of congratulations to the both – or the three – of you! :) I also wish you’ll be feeling better soon. And yay for possible future blog entries about Hex and Fudge getting used to a new baby and all! Weeee~

    *goes to sleep happy*

  10. Medli said:

    Wow. Congratulations. I hope everything goes well with you in the long run, and the pregnancy is a safe one. Once more, congrats!! :)

  11. Clem said:

    For some reason I really wasn’t expecting this, but yay! Congratulations!

    Is it bad that one of the first things I thought was, "Jem is going to become a mommy blogger now"? :P

  12. Manda said:

    CONGRATULATIONS! For some reason pregnancy did not even occur to me as a possibility for your sickness – I thought you had caught the plague or something, as you had been sick for ages! I am very glad to hear it’s nothing even remotely plague-like though :D

  13. Carly said:

    First of all I KNEW IT I KNEW IT! I honestly thought as I was on my way here today ‘she’s going to announce soon that she’s Keith.’ (as in Chegwin, as in Cheggers as in Preggers.)

    Secondly – Congratulations to you all – I imagine it was a bit of a shock to all? Or was it planned?? Aww either way I know that you Karl and the kittes will raise a lovely little geeky child, whose blogs I shall soon be reading too, I am sure!

    Carly xx

  14. Caity said:

    Oh my goodness that is such a nice surprise! Congratulations! I hope that the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly and you don’t have much more trouble with the morning sickness.

  15. Christine said:

    Oh my goodnesss!!!!!!!! That’s fantastic! Congrats! Oh Jem! I’m so excited for you and Karl! What a terrific little baby he/she’s going to be ^^

  16. Macca said:

    Holy shit, woman!

    And here was me thinking that this would [i]never[/i] happen. Jem, pregnant? Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I thought that even /I/, a child-hating bitchface, would beat you to that one.

    Congratulations. :)

  17. Maja said:

    I think I’ll go with my standardized "Oh God, It’s breeding" reply and hope the bleeding is harmless and there are no further complications.

  18. Erin said:

    =D Congratulations! How fabulous! I hope the rest of your pregnancy is safe and swift. That is one lucky little fetus to be able to grow old with you and Karl. =)

  19. Ashley said:

    For the third time, congratulations! :) And yes, your baby looks like an alien so far. :D Totally adorable!

    I haven’t read through all of the comments so sorry if someone already asked and you answered, but got any names picked out yet?? :D

  20. Julie said:

    Woah! I think the standard word is "congratulations" for your…5th baby that far. ;)

    And yes, please to make Amelie the godmother. I can totally see her being the one who spoils your kid in your back after you sent him to his room. :D

    In a way, you kind of already are a mommy blogger…except your babies are covered with fur.

  21. Mimi said:

    Oh my god oh my god oh my god..

    OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I am freakin out! Great birthday news for me! Amelie might have called Godmother but your other friends are like godmothers in waiting or something.. LOL BABY!!!!!!!! I did not expect this at ALL.

    Well.. I can’t sympathize too much because my first three months were so normal that I didn’t even KNOW I was pregnant, not kidding. It was the last two trimesters that killed me. The second one I had such bad abdominal pains that I would double over and fall a lot and the third was no sleep and heart burn every single second. Not to scare you or anything! I’m thinking that maybe if yours is a hard beginning the end will be better. :D

    So now I shall call your child.. Cletus the fetus!

  22. Belinda said:

    What a twist!! Totally didn’t see this coming!

    But either way, MANY CONGRATULATIONS!! I hope you blog more about this! I can’t believe you kept it secret for so long!

  23. Alyssa said:

    Oh my GOD!

    A HUGE congratulations to you and Karl!! It’s weird, but I feel like an aunt. I mostly lurk, but reading this news all of a sudden was such a huge shocker/twist. I’m so happy for you! All the luck!

  24. Christina said:

    Oh my gosh, great news! Congrats! You have to take pictures of yourself as your pregnancy progresses. My one coworker is due on May 6th and she’s been taking a picture every other Friday since she found out. It’s crazy to see the progression like that. XD

  25. Romy said:

    Forget swine flu, you’ve caught Egyptian flu: nine months and you’re a mummy. :P

    Bad jokes aside, I am SO HAPPY for you and Karl. Even if I do want to see that sonogram turned into an lolkid… ;)

  26. Anita said:

    Woah, I literally lit up when I read the text where you said you where pregnant. I was waiting for the "Just kidding!"

  27. Caasi said:

    Wheeee! Grats! This may not be the most appropriate thing, but, I’m going to kick your ass if you don’t keep us updated. OK?

    And just for the record, weird shit happens when you’re pregnant. Don’t be afraid to ask people silly questions, because when you’re pregnant, there is no silly questions.

  28. Mari said:

    Holy schmoly! Jem’s gonna be a mum!! Congratulations. =D
    I guess I’m just weird ’cause I see a miniature human. I wish I could see the possum…
    Hopefully the all-day-morning sickness will stop soon. It sounds absolutely awful. =(

  29. Aisling said:

    It just occurred to me that… yes, I am looking a picture of what will be a very very cute baby, but also… also… I am looking at a picture of your uterus. We’ve just reached a new level of closeness. (Obvz, not just me and you, but you and the whole Internet as well!)

  30. Elea said:

    !

    *recovers from shock* Congratulations! And, the silver lining about your all-the-time sickness is that unlike being normally sick, you’ll be left with a nice little "souvenir" at the end of this bout. ;)

  31. Amanda said:

    So you conceived a few days after you saw me…methinks I’m a contributing factor and therefore should be named godmother when I get back over there. :P

    Congratulations!

  32. Melissa said:

    Congrats, Jem! I know I haven’t commented in awhile, but I do lurk around here now and then and I must say this is a pleasant surprise!

    Hope the morning sickness gets better. I haven’t really suffered from it much, but the fatigue kills me!

    And I suppose you’ll be due a few weeks before me :)

  33. Robmarie said:

    OMG WHAT?? That’s amazing! Congratulations, Jem! I hope that you thoroughly enjoy every step of this new life experience. :) Take good care of yourself, and best wishes!

  34. Jen said:

    Wow! Like someone else said, I was waiting for you to say "just kidding", but then I realized it’s not April Fools anymore. But still. Congratulations, Jem! May it be a very rewarding experience! :)

  35. Roxanne said:

    @ Mimi: If you didn’t freak Jem out, you sure freaked the hell out of me! lol

    Congratulations, that’s awesome news! I hope everything goes well for you! I bet the shirt "geek inside" has a whole new meaning! ;)

  36. Diana said:

    OH MY GOD, JEM. Congratulations!! It’s very weird that you will be a mommy blogger and that your uterus is on my screen. I wish you the best with everything!

  37. Mumblies said:

    Hehehe :o)
    *Bursts with Motherly and GrandMotherly pride*

    It’s a bit late for me to say congrats you two, glad the secret is finally out!

  38. Tracy said:

    Woot! Congratulations – that’s quite great news!

    I was wondering when this post is going to come. You’ve lived together so long – have good jobs ;) Of course I didn’t know if you want kids… blablabla ;)

    Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS!

  39. TWD said:

    Wha-wha-WHAT??? Congrats! I hope things go well. I suppose we might not see that much of you in the future, but that’s okay since it’s for a worthy cause. ;D

  40. Jessica said:

    I just decided to see what’s up with your site cause it’s been a while since I’ve surfed the web properly – and woww what big news! Congrats Jem :)

  41. Aimee said:

    Congratulations, Jem! If you aren’t posting pictures, will you at least keep us posted as to gender (if you want to know), names, nursery status, etc? This is so very exciting! You’re going to be a fantastic mum!

  42. Amanda said:

    Wow Jem! Congrats to both you and Karl. Sorry to hear about the sickness, but at least it isn’t anything serious (as in bad serious). You’ll be a great mommy bee.

  43. Nile said:

    Congrats Jem! That is great news! I hope everything goes well with your pregnancy. By the way, I also wished you well on Twitter.

  44. Katie said:

    Congratulations! That is so exciting :)

    I hope the "morning" sickness ends soon and that you have a safe pregnancy and a healthy little alien… i mean, baby :D

  45. Trish said:

    Wow, that’s so awesome! It shocked me, though I don’t know why. It looks like an alien now, but I’m sure it’ll be gorgeous when it comes…out… o_O Being only 16 and DEFINITELY not reading to have a baby, I can’t really give you motherly advice like some others have. BUT, apparently [according to my mom] having a baby is one of the greatest feelings…well, after it comes out, that is. XO
    I hope this doesn’t just seem like another comment to you; I hope it’s somewhat meaningful. I don’t always comment all the time, but I read almost every entry of yours, and you seem like you’d be a pretty darn cool mom. Especially because you’ve got a sense of humor. My mom doesn’t and it’s TERRIBLE. So congrats to you and your family! :D Good luck with the morning sickness, btw…sounds like it sucks.

  46. Ann said:

    Ohmygod, you are the last person that should ever be blessed with a baby. When your child makes a mistake or doesn’t do something perfect, are you going to ream them out on your blog too? Perhaps give them a Nappy Award for their first bedtime accident and tell them they’re worthless?

  47. Rose said:

    Wow, @Ann…

    Are you… joking? Or is that an actual attack? Because come ON. Obviously she’s going to be a good mom. And I know you know that, and are just trying to be mean…. Because if you actually think her Internet persona is how she’s going to treat parenting, then you’re not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.

  48. Mimi said:

    Jemm you need to come on here are start thanking us all profusely for our well wishes!! LOL

    Cletus the fetus.. LOL

    Aisling is right though, I feel kind of.. naughty.. looking at your insides thar. Your cooking chamber. LOL

  49. Angela said:

    Holy shit, you got knocked up. Make that kidaroo ‘lite on the interwebz once he/she’s old enough. He/she gots a rep to live up to… you.

    Congratulations to you both =)

  50. Aisling said:

    Yeah, um, Ann you are a little bit messed there, eh? By that logic, I’m going to spend my time talking to my future children about… my personal life, and gush about food, and.. here’s a lesson: a person’s blog topics does not equal everything a person ever does. o_O

    Jem will be a most excellent mom. :)

  51. Rainy or Sheri said:

    For reals? Seriously?! I’m so stoked for you guys! Supposedly the morning sickness goes away by week 14, but take that as a general rule, not a for sure. For me, I was suddenly surprised to realize it had been days instead of hours since I was last nauseous. It’s usually very gradual. Although, to be honest, I still gag almost every time I brush my teeth. That was a new thing since Ayla. Please keep us posted. You know I love you, and the baby thing makes me feel all warm inside. ;)

    I hope you guys are well. Time to seriously get kitties into the litter kwitter. Or at least make Karl the official litter cleaner.

    PS. Your blog hates me. Try 2.

    try 3: special characters in my name, my hiney.

  52. Renee said:

    Wow…congrats! :)

    For morning sickness, the one thing I found worked best was drinking Powerade (because of the B vitamins). Something else you can do to help ward it off is keep saltine crackers and water by your bed and eat a couple of them before you even sit up.

  53. Karl said:

    *chuckle*.

    Ann – When you’re old enough to have a boyfriend without parental supervision, you may end up pregnant – come back then by all means. Until then, I recommend CBeebies. It’s more your level.

    Thankyou for all the comments guys and gals..:) We’re just taking it one day at a time.

  54. Mumblies said:

    @ Ann – Since when has Jem ever made any comments that were not called for? If people put themselves up on public view and ask for other people’s comments then they should expect to get both good and bad critisism.
    As you don’t know Jem, nor have you even met her, how can you possibly expect people to take your sarcasm and ridicule seriously? I suggest you get yourself a life Ann. I presume you have at some time or other been on the receiving end of Jem’s comments and didn’t care for them…my advice is this, If you can’t stand the heat….get out of the kitchen! Constructive critisism is a good thing.
    As for her skills in parenting, I have witnessed both Jem and Karl displaying all it takes to be a good parent and in MY opinion they will make excellent parents, but then they both had damned good examples to work by.

  55. Anthony said:

    OK a bit late to the party, but congratulations Jem!!

    We’ve just brought a, now nearly 11 week old(!), little girl into the world. Your story is very familiar, and I have both warm feelings and sympathy for you both :D

    People will tell you your life is going to totally change, and that it’s not going to be easy…

    Your life is going to totally change, and it’s not going to be easy!

    It will, however, be totally awesome. A touch scary, but totally awesome.

    Cherish this time now. Make full use of the internet, watching films, TV shows, playing games… they will be the last few months you get to do these activities without interruption! (I’ve turned on my 360 like twice in 3 months, and my gold subscription has lapsed… I don’t actually care)

    Most important of all make sure you talk to each other while you can.

    Any spare minute we have these days let’s us long on to our laptops – while half watching telly, half listening out for baba. And possibly gulping down tea and a biccy.

    But it is well worth it, honest.

  56. Fred said:

    Haha it looks like Ann just boarded the Failboat all the way to Failtown where the Mayor is Crazy Bob McFailalot! Jem will be an awsome parent and its an insult to say anything different you silly plant pot!

  57. Melissa said:

    MUMBLIES FTW! :D You tell her!!! :D

    Also LMAO at this: "Jem will be an awsome parent and its an insult to say anything different you silly plant pot!" HAHAHAHA!!! PLANT POT!! XD

    Seriously though, Jem WILL be a fabulouuusss mom and Karl will be a fabbbbulousss dad and Hex and Fudgie will be fabbbulouss brothers! :D Whoever left that comment that said blah blah about being unwed, well these days it’s just lucky if a kid has two loving parents. Who the effff cares if they are married or not?? Lame people!!! PLANT POTS!!!!!! XD

  58. Theresa said:

    Damn lady, already all of those symptoms? This pregnancy is going to be hell. I have given birth to 4 children and I didn’t start getting heartburn or aches until I was about 6 months pregnant. I wish you good luck with this and if you need any help that I can offer in helping you maintain your online shit (if you’re even concerned about that) then let me know. :)

  59. Theresa said:

    BTW – After reading the other comments, don’t mind the haters. The ones who can’t design or code for shit and got mad when you gave them some stupid award that doesn’t even exist but it hurt their poor teenage feelings anyway. :P I know you already know that though.

  60. Sarah said:

    Oh dear, there we go. The old "omg you should be teh marridz to have kids" asshattery. Feh. Being married does not make a person better or worse at being a parent. Jem and Karl have been together many years and are devoted to one another. I’m sure the child will get so much love and care from them both. The child will be well looked after and have such awesome qualities from both mother and father. All in all, this child will be in capable hands and will turn out to be awesome. Ann, I suggest you grow up a bit and then re evaluate your comment.

  61. Aisling said:

    Plant pot is my new favourite insult. Nobody will see it coming.

    And, I say, for every person like Ann, you should spawn MORE, Jem. We have to make up the numbers! Can’t have the idiots outnumbering the rest of us. ;)

  62. Roxanne said:

    Holy hell! If you have nothing good to say, then don’t! Especially if you’re under the age of 17 and hardly know how to wipe your own ass! (this isn’t towards EVERY 17 and under person)

    Good thing Jem has Karl and Mumblies as family! My mom would never set someone straight on the Internet! Way-to-go! XD

    Watch out for the habits you might form. I just thought of this, but when my sister was prego, she formed an addiction to eating ice and smelling this one cleaning product all the time. She said she never cared for the things before, but once she got pregnant, it was like she NEEDED to have it!

    Odd, I know, but it happens!

  63. Brenda said:

    Goodness, Jem! Congratulations to you! ;)

    You’ve disappeared for two months but returned with a pleasant surprise. May the rest of the pregnancy be a smooth one!

  64. Anthony said:

    I’m on webcam right now, and when I read this I screamed with joy, and my friends were like 0.o.

    Anyways why I screamed with joy is beyond. I am so happy for you Jemjebella. Happy that you finally updated us and happy about your little bundle of joy. My sister had her baby a week ago, in the end all the sickness etc etc will be totally worth it.

    Best wishes :)

  65. Noellium said:

    OHHHH, congrats! :D Here’s hoping everything goes well for you. ^_^

    (I don’t think I’ve seen this many comments on one of your entries before. O.o)

  66. Munin said:

    I rarely comment on blogs anymore but I just had to comment on this!

    When I read the post, I seriously couldn’t stop smiling. I’m so happy for you, Jem! This must all be so exciting for you and Karl. Dunno about the pets since they’re indifferent, haha.

    Seriously, this is amazing news. As someone pointed out, you’re going to be an awesome mom and an awesome mommy blogger. Best of wishes, and luck! Try drinking tea to help with the sickness.

  67. Stephanie said:

    Hey Verita, at least Jem will be able to have a child, because nobody would be willing to poke an awful wench like you with a ten foot pole. Maybe twenty, but only if the poor sod was blind and deranged. But still highly doubtful.

  68. Clarisse said:

    Wow! Congratulations!
    I’m not sure if you remember me – we used to comment back & forth eons ago.. Anyway, I’ve been going through all the blogs/sites I used to visit a few years ago. I’m glad to find you still up and running… and this great news posted! :) Wishing you the best!

  69. Bubs said:

    I’ve been away from the internet for a week or 2 and BAM! I miss huge news! Congrats :D

    Hope you feel better, too ;)

  70. Courtney said:

    OHMYGOD, JEM! Yay!!!! I definitely hope that your morning sickness eases off soon and I look forward to hearing about your new arrival! And while you have no intention of becoming a mommy blogger, please do be sure to share pictures with us and keep us posted on things that happen, pretty please??

  71. Britney said:

    OMG JEM!! That’s absolutely amazing. I’m very happy for you.
    I’m also going to be an Aunt (again). My brother’s girlfriend is pregnant. But that’s beside the point.
    A little ninja baby. . . how cute? ;)

  72. Britney said:

    Oh and @ Ann the most cold-hearted person I’ve seen in a while, what kind of person do you think you are? You’re absolutely rude and arrogant. Just because Jem likes perfection with coding and stuff doesn’t mean she’s going to treat parenting the same way… Can’t you just celebrate in the happiness of the moment? There’s a bastard in every bunch.

    Oh and Jem. . . I look forward to hearing mini ninja stories in the future!! :)
    The best of luck to you and Karl! <3

  73. Sam said:

    Wow Jem I’m so happy for you! :D Just stopped by your blog on a whim.. haven’t been here in awhile.. and this is quite exciting! Congratulations!

  74. Beth said:

    Awh! Yay! Congrats!! Vera told me and so I had to check it out. I’m 11 weeks today with my third, and I’ve also been suffering from all day morning sickness, although since my tolerance is high, I don’t vomit. Wish I could, it might make me feel better. :(

    My midwife has recommended eating a few crackers before getting out of bed in the morning to help with it. And also make sure you don’t take your prenatal on an empty stomach. Also, try the BRAT diet. Bananas Rice Apples and Toast. It helps some. If you need any advice or anything, feel free to ask. :)

  75. Jessica said:

    Oh my word I am so out of touch with everything on the internet! Congrats to you & Karl!

    It will happen though… you will show a picture. It’s a thing mommies have to do no matter what kind of mommy they are. :D

  76. Sarah said:

    OMG congratulations! I’ve been out of the loop and checked your site just now for the first time in ages. I got to wondering earlier when I saw your photo on Flickr of a preggers cow and you said you looked/felt like that. I wondered "maybe she’s just gained weight." Holy shit, you’re preggers! Hee, that’s cool. :) I hope all goes well, and I’m sorry about the morning sickness.

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