|  Interwebs, The Pants Awards

Note: has since changed ownership. The content of this post is in no way aimed at the new owner, Dan. The post will remain live purely to avoid a broken link.

The biggest problem with acting like a wanker on the Internet is that there’s always a bigger wanker (me) out there prepared to shit all over you. I’ve seen plenty of websites recently, the owners of which I would love to knock down a peg or two (virtually speaking). Unfortunately they’ve got to wait in line, because today’s Pants Award recipient has been patiently waiting since March.

When I first came across today’s recipient I was struck by how much of a bigoted cock he is. I was also confused by the constant references to karma as if it were some sort of revenge tool. Now, I’m not really “up” on all of these religious concepts but I thought karma was not about revenge? Either way, from what I’ve read on this site, karma is going to be after my ass apparently… is badly coded (HTML doctype with a mix of XHTML and HTML tags, <div>s in place of headers), badly worded (additional ‘is’ in the first sentence of the introduction just for starters) and badly in need of an intellectual property lawyer to rip chunks out of it for copyright infringement.

We should put aside the desperate attempt at a bad attitude, the illiteracy despite claims of intelligence and the obvious attention seeking (“Comments are currently disabled, because I don’t care what people think anymore.” — surely if this were the case it wouldn’t matter if comments were enabled or not?). These are all minor in the grand scheme of things and not unlike many other personal websites. What I can’t put aside is the claim that “Everything on [] is legally copyrighted to me” when the majority of the Downloads section belongs to other people.

Of course, there’s the lame-ass warning in teeny tiny text “These scripts were not made by me” but this doesn’t change the fact that they’re being illegally distributed; somewhat ironic if you keep reading… “Please [abide] by their rules, obligations, and credit requirements.“. I could maybe forgive this if I thought that this was a case of ‘net etiquette newbie-ness and/or this person had no idea that this was a no-no, but I know for a fact that at least one person has contacted Mr Contagious and been fobbed off with bullshit.

So, because I think you try too hard, you code badly and you’re putting hundreds of people at risk by distributing old, out-dated, insecure scripts.. Gregory, you are my 8th Pants Award winner. Blame God, he told me to do it.

8th pants award

Whoo, those are just too sexy.

Jem Turner +44(0)7521056376

60 comments so far

  1. Daniela said:

    Wooow those pants are too beautiful. I want them with a geek print on them. Anyway, my big question is : He distributes the Cutenews script, noting that it is considered to be hackable. Then why, does he put it for download? (Its not even done by himself as we all now) Maybe he does not know…

  2. Amber said:

    Calling all idiots on the internet: pants award coming to you very soon. Seriously, though, I’ll never understand some of these website owners.

  3. Kate said:

    Wow… looking at his site just makes me think even more he needs a reality check. What makes it worse is that he is 22 and still doing things that 14 year olds online can manage to understand.

  4. Amelie said:

    You forgot the best part – the fact that he thinks is the greatest tutorial site in the world and that PHPCurrently “may be insecure”. :P

  5. Jem said:

    @Amelie: time constraints I’m afraid, I had to cut down what I wanted to write about. If I had more time I’d have done a full blown review and mentioned all of the spelling mistakes, inconsistencies, broken links, shitty content, etc.

  6. Josh(ua/y) said:

    I don’t understand the free “Colour Themes” that he’s offering to download. Why would I want to download some stripey gif images? I can draw stripes myself. I like the icons though…

  7. Vera said:

    I liked the previous pictures better, though I suppose those are feminine underwear and you didn’t want to insult this webmaster :P I tried reading something on his sidebar… but got somewhat stumped by “saved on [date]”. It took me a while to figure out he meant he was converted… I thought he’d suffered an accident. Oh and yeah, his writing is atrocious.

  8. Ben said:

    Oh dear. How big does his signature picture have to be? :( And from reading his latest posts, is he one of those bloggers who say “I did this today, then this, oh and then this happened.” Nicely chosen once again Jem.

  9. Annie said:

    I’m not much better with coding so can’t really say much. Don’t you just want to visit that site again? :p This is just the 8th Pants Award?

  10. Ben said:

    Omg. I just realised. He offers to make you a custom wordpress themes and layouts. 4-6$?! Worth it? I don’t think so..

  11. Breanna said:

    Unfortunately, there are way too many sites like that out on the interweb. Maybe the only thing good about them is the fact that I can come on this site and read about how shitty they actually are. Cheers for the pants award!

  12. Jack said:

    Man, even John Lennon had a better understanding of karma than this guy. :) You’re right, Jem, karma is not intended to be a vehicle for someone to threaten people with because they’ve got petty grievances with them.

  13. HannaPai said:

    Well there was pair of oh so s-e-x-y pants ^_^ (fits perfectly to this site). I felt “slightly” disturbed because of black and white backgrounds. Anyway well written.

  14. Aaron said:

    … I found one better than what I had at the amazing … I almost laughed out loud when I read that on one of his tutorials. Actually, I almost laughed out loud at his entire website.

  15. Jessica said:

    So Jem if you’re bored we can expect a full review? Yes you may get bored & un-busy one day. From what I can tell he is one of those people that makes born again christians look bad. And there is nothing like tighty white wanna be boxer grandpa panties!

  16. Belinda said:

    Also, note the different ways he emphasises things; with different coloured text and italics, with different coloured backgrounds to text, text with underlining… what the hell? That’s bad form and makes it more difficult to read.

  17. Stephanie said:

    That’s the kind of site that I close after looking at it for one second. Maybe you could make a “Pants Directory” of all the bad sites that you come across. And each month, a new one gets a new award.

  18. Sarah said:

    Finally, you give out crappy skivvies to a crappy site! I’m sick and tired of you giving away all the pretty undies, Jem! If you’ve got too many on your hands, pass them my way; I enjoy underwear.

  19. Jordan said:

    I’ve never publicly voiced my opinions about him before, but I do think he’s possibly the dumbest, pompous asshole I’ve come across on the ‘net. What I hate about him is that he holds his head up high as if he’s mightier than thou because of how blunt/truthful he is. I can’t wait to see his replies here. He’s such a drama queen whore.

  20. Rhiannon said:

    @ Vera: LOL, yeah….those pants were from my bigger days, I must admit ;) Gregory’s attitude is disgusting. A few months ago I got an e-mail from a friend, who had been really offended over some comments contained in this clowns’ blog. He had put up some hateful blog going on about how he wished his former friend would die of aids, and that this friend was a stupid “fagget.” Dude, even I wouldn’t go that far. Ref:

  21. Jem said:

    @Rhiannon: I saw the entry in which he made the remark about hoping his friend would die of HIV — it was that entry that first spurred me into giving the pants award (it just took a while to actually get ’round to doing it.)

  22. Carmen said:

    Hm. I used to visit this site, as I recall. I try to ignore mispellings, bad coding, etc within any sites and I don’t really content surf so I can’t say much about that but I’m reallly against his attitude re: the above mentioned post regarding wishing his friend would get aids.

  23. Louise said:

    Boy does that guy need an attitude change. Came across his website once didn’t stop by long only went to his website to find a link to another site. His life is quite boring. He’s pretty obsessed with this Jay guy.

  24. Alys said:

    So roam around, think what you want, just don’t judge because you’re not much better. I like how he acknowledges that we are actually better, just not much better. Nicely chosen Jem, as always.

  25. Alys said:

    Oh, and I see that someone has asked ‘How does it feel to get the infamous pants award’ on his Q&A. I was disgusted by the entry about his homosexual ex room mate, but I found his liberal use of profanities quite amusing, especially the fact the he filters them out in the comments. Since when has ‘gay’ ever been a swear word?

  26. Kristin said:

    Blame God, he told me to do it. This was, by far, my favorite part of this entire post. ;) Love the pants awards!

  27. Camille said:

    He plans to grow old only to beat people with canes/walkers, and get away with it. A work in progress with God my foot. Don’t steal from me! (Snorts) Who would? All I see is your average, “GIVE ME ATTENTION” website. Same old, same old except for the highlighting, I haven’t seen that used that way at all.

  28. Carly said:

    That website and that boy just simply offends every fibre of my being. I’m not even going to bother giving it a second look…

  29. Stephen said:

    Wow. Jem… Your pants… I’m … overwhelmed! Where can I send gift cards for the “Help Jem get a nicer pair of pants” fund?

  30. Darren said:

    Wow, I love the Pants idea! Very original. I’ve been lingering around here for awhile and I thought I’d leave a comment. Great website, by the way. XD

  31. Vera said:

    He hates gay people, but he listed lesbians as being one of his likes. Hypocrite much? Not necessarily. I’ve seen such things happen on an anime TV channel’s forum, where some boys were against the broadcast of a shounen-ai (boy’s love) anime, but were quite alright with shoujo-ai (girl’s love) animes. So it just depends on what you like to see: two guys or two girls. :P

  32. Jim said:

    I think the dude gets a free pass because of his extreme newbiness. Just look at his tutorial on stopping “directory snooping.” First, his explanation on directory snooping… So say I went to your site. I took a look at your coding source on internet explorer. On internet explorer// View >> Source This will open your coding on a text application such as notepad or dreamweaver MX 2004 for the person to view, steal, and etc. I then find a link to where you have your images or whatever I’m interested in stealing. Here is where I can find any images or coding on your site, then type it in their address bar to jump into your directory. Then see whats listed, and etc. It’s a cheap ftp way of looking inside your site. Normally someone might suggest using .htaccess, but not this guy. His clever solution is just creating a blank index.html and put it in each directory. Now, I’m not dogging the guy…even though his site looks like it would be that of a chick’s. I give him credit for wanting to help people, but I think he’s way to new to this world to deserve a public shaming. Focus on bigger fish that would cause all sorts of drama, like all the chicks at Lavish or something.

  33. Whitney said:

    Vera, I get what you mean. But I still find it very hypocritical. It is like he is saying being a lesbian is fine because it’s hot but being a gay male is wrong because it’s not attractive to him. It’s sick really.

  34. Kimmie said:

    You know, I didn’t necessarily get the whole bigot feeling from him. If his top blog entry had been something like, “I hate jews and black people,” then maybe I would have gotten that impression. The impression that I got is that he’s a 22 year old male. Being a 22 year old male is explanation enough to explain his attitude to me. Just because he doesn’t word things nicely doesn’t mean he’s a horrible person. He might still be a horrible person, but it’s hard to draw those kinds of conclusions just from reading a short profile and two or three entries. I mean, there have been times when I’ve told my cat to shut the f*** up because he won’t stop meowing at 4am, but does that make me a horrible person? No. I don’t advertise yelling at my cat on my site, but I certainly know how he feels. That being said, his website doesn’t stand out as being especially horrible. I’ve definitely seen worse. I’ve seen plenty of sites giving away outdated code and claiming stuff to be their own that clearly is not. I’ve seen tutorials that suck. I’ve seen worse attitudes. I’ve seen worse layouts. To be honest, I think this is going to be the last pants award I read. I respect your site and you, but I don’t think I can read these particular types of entries any more. I find these awards to be an entry of you bullying someone else’s site and nothing more. I get no entertainment and no value from them. Sorry.

  35. Jem said:

    @Kimmie: Try actually reading some of the archives before you give me the holier than thou attitude about my claims of his bigotry. Just because his top entry doesn’t necessarily prove my point doesn’t mean I’m making it up for the sake of it (not in the habit of doing that, personally). Don’t really see the relevance of you shouting at your cat, but OK. As for you not reading the entries anymore — that’s your choice.. no need to apologise for that. I doubt it will affect me in the slightest.

  36. Matt said:

    Heh I was on his site a couple of hours before I first read this review. His text gives me a headache and he really does think he’s something. I can’t stand people like him. Also, if he doesn’t cae what people think, why not take the site offline as opposed to clsoing comments? He could just keep his site running on his computer. What a ‘tard.

  37. Mumblies said:

    Impressive pants Jem, are they Karl’s? lol I agree with your award the site is very difficult to read and i can’t help wondering what that huge blank space is for on the right hand side…… or is that just my crappy computer playing up again?

  38. Vera said:

    Vera, I get what you mean. But I still find it very hypocritical. It is like he is saying being a lesbian is fine because it’s hot but being a gay male is wrong because it’s not attractive to him. It’s sick really. I don’t think he’s thinking of the two girls as lesbians. Just an eye-candy. With guys… well he doesn’t lean that way, so they’re by default “disgusting” :P

  39. Jordan said:

    Vera, I could’ve sworn that he was bi-sexual at one point. I specifically remember him talking about a guy, and liking him or something to that extent. I need to search around, because I definitely remember him loving the cock.

  40. Rhiannon said:

    @ Jordan: I also distinctly remember reading information on his sidebar stating he was bi. This was last year sometime. Wonder why the site is down? I know the pants were uber heinous, but come on now…