Search Terms for this Website

Karl casually mentioned to me earlier that he has received another e-mail from a SAD sufferer, to which I replied that his hits were up because of people looking for SAD information. (Please, no comments on how completely nerdy it is that I know the ‘state’ of our websites at any point in time..) Anyway, I decided to go through or search engine keyphrases results in further depth for our amusement and found some that I just had to share:

  • nettles bottom pain …I can only assume some poor sod sat down in a field of nettles. Imagine the lumps on their arse (or not, because that’s disturbing.)
  • underage 10 year old [*&@]ing …erm, that’s even more disturbing! (Swear word removed to help prevent repeat hits for that keyphrase :P)
  • tied to dental chair – oral surgery …some people are into some weird kinky shit.
  • are footballers paid too much …yes.
  • microsoft frontpage is a piece of shit …couldn’t agree more.
  • cheap SEX DRESS UP CLOTHES …sorry, no nursey costumes here!

Ah, the hilarity. I’ve got approximately 300+ keyphrases with variants of the word “t-shirt” in and lots of people who think I know how to manipulate amalgam (I really shouldn’t have blogged about my dentist treatment). Actually, looking at these logs makes me wonder why people made a fuss when AOL released search engine data — search engine results are not just stored at the search engine you know.

ETA (8th Oct): aha, it’s my valentines rant and the combination of “teenage”, “[*&@]ing” and “underage” that are bringing in those dubious visitors. Ooops!

17 comments so far

  1. Tish said:
    On 07 Oct at 6:19 pm

    While people search for t-shirt and end up at your site, people search t-ish and manage to end up at mine. I wonder how that came about.

  2. Shannon said:
    On 07 Oct at 6:54 pm

    Apparently, many people think that my site is full of information about Bazooka Bubblegum

  3. Jenny said:
    On 07 Oct at 7:23 pm

    Heh, those are funny. :P I’ve had “netrillium hosting sucks” several times.

  4. Daz said:
    On 07 Oct at 7:32 pm

    Nice list! I’ve often considered doing a similar blog, but youve beaten me. I get allsorts of weird stuff – my current favouriteis “whatever happened to scatman” (which raises a valid point..)

  5. Amelie said:
    On 07 Oct at 8:25 pm

    I mostly get “Norton sucks” and various stuff about how people have been screwed over by Symantec, after I blogged about it a while ago :) I don’t get any hits on my name anymore, since I seem to have fallen off the face of Google when searching for it (I was previously on the first page). Bah.

  6. Manda said:
    On 07 Oct at 8:29 pm

    I get heaps of hits for people searching up “Pete Wentz” or “Fall Out Boy” :/ (Of course, this is before I took apart my personal site and stuck everything in subdomains)

  7. Amelie said:
    On 07 Oct at 8:31 pm

    Heh, I looked just now and this is the most recent one: how do put in url websites without them being blocked As well as: surpass hosting war o.O

  8. Alys said:
    On 07 Oct at 9:40 pm

    I’m getting one or two hits of ‘Fizzy Wizzy rainbow Scarves’. Just out of curiosity jem, what on earth were you wearing that left your bottom vunerable to nettle stings?

  9. Jem said:
    On 07 Oct at 9:42 pm

    @Alys: I try not to remember my own bottom nettle pain, but I was actually wearing jeans!

  10. Ang said:
    On 08 Oct at 12:59 am

    Something like 80% of my search hits are for “masturbation”.

  11. Dave said:
    On 08 Oct at 2:08 am

    I don’t get anything near as exciting or disturbing :( That’s probably a good thing…

  12. Tiddley said:
    On 08 Oct at 7:21 am

    Underage ten year old? As opposed to the over-age kind? ;)

  13. Gemma said:
    On 08 Oct at 10:57 am

    Having seen ‘live’ search engine results rolling in while working for a directory/search company, I think the reason people don’t like them going public is that it reveals how bad they are at using search engines :). It’s amazing how many users type full URLs into the search bar.

  14. Li said:
    On 08 Oct at 2:56 pm

    Do you ever get keyphrases that are actually your domain name or even a page on your domain? Most of the popular keyphrases for my site are related to Runescape or a TV programme I watch. *Blush* A page with the funniest keyphrases people have used to get to your site would be fun (for me, at least) to read. ;)

  15. Xeronia said:
    On 08 Oct at 3:03 pm

    That’s one reason why I stopped wanting to see my site stats. People scare me.

  16. Jem said:
    On 08 Oct at 3:03 pm

    @Li: oh yes! I get lots of hits for “jem”, “jemjabella”, “free avatars” etc, but they’re not as amusing.

  17. Jordie said:
    On 10 Oct at 1:34 pm

    I read “nursey” as “nursery”…