Oct 07 2006
Search Terms for this Website
Karl casually mentioned to me earlier that he has received another e-mail from a SAD sufferer, to which I replied that his hits were up because of people looking for SAD information. (Please, no comments on how completely nerdy it is that I know the ‘state’ of our websites at any point in time..) Anyway, I decided to go through or search engine keyphrases results in further depth for our amusement and found some that I just had to share:
- nettles bottom pain …I can only assume some poor sod sat down in a field of nettles. Imagine the lumps on their arse (or not, because that’s disturbing.)
- underage 10 year old [*&@]ing …erm, that’s even more disturbing! (Swear word removed to help prevent repeat hits for that keyphrase :P)
- tied to dental chair – oral surgery …some people are into some weird kinky shit.
- are footballers paid too much …yes.
- microsoft frontpage is a piece of shit …couldn’t agree more.
- cheap SEX DRESS UP CLOTHES …sorry, no nursey costumes here!
Ah, the hilarity. I’ve got approximately 300+ keyphrases with variants of the word “t-shirt” in and lots of people who think I know how to manipulate amalgam (I really shouldn’t have blogged about my dentist treatment). Actually, looking at these logs makes me wonder why people made a fuss when AOL released search engine data — search engine results are not just stored at the search engine you know.
ETA (8th Oct): aha, it’s my valentines rant and the combination of “teenage”, “[*&@]ing” and “underage” that are bringing in those dubious visitors. Ooops!
Warning
This post is over 6 months old. This means that, despite my best intentions, it may no longer be accurate. Age, motherhood, experience, loss... these things have all changed me from when this blog was started back in the heady (ha) days of my youth.
As much as I would like to go back and edit 10 years of archives to provide an insight into the 'me' of now — to update coding snippets and revise website advice — it would probably take years to do so (by which point I'd have to start again!) This would defeat the point of keeping these archives anyway.
Please take these posts for what they are: a brief look into my past, my history, my journey.
17 Responses so far
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While people search for t-shirt and end up at your site, people search t-ish and manage to end up at mine. I wonder how that came about.
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Apparently, many people think that my site is full of information about Bazooka Bubblegum
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Heh, those are funny. :P I’ve had “netrillium hosting sucks” several times.
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Nice list! I’ve often considered doing a similar blog, but youve beaten me. I get allsorts of weird stuff – my current favouriteis “whatever happened to scatman” (which raises a valid point..)
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I mostly get “Norton sucks” and various stuff about how people have been screwed over by Symantec, after I blogged about it a while ago :) I don’t get any hits on my name anymore, since I seem to have fallen off the face of Google when searching for it (I was previously on the first page). Bah.
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I get heaps of hits for people searching up “Pete Wentz” or “Fall Out Boy” :/ (Of course, this is before I took apart my personal site and stuck everything in subdomains)
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Heh, I looked just now and this is the most recent one: how do put in url websites without them being blocked As well as: surpass hosting war o.O
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I’m getting one or two hits of ‘Fizzy Wizzy rainbow Scarves’. Just out of curiosity jem, what on earth were you wearing that left your bottom vunerable to nettle stings?
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@Alys: I try not to remember my own bottom nettle pain, but I was actually wearing jeans!
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Something like 80% of my search hits are for “masturbation”.
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I don’t get anything near as exciting or disturbing :( That’s probably a good thing…
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Underage ten year old? As opposed to the over-age kind? ;)
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Having seen ‘live’ search engine results rolling in while working for a directory/search company, I think the reason people don’t like them going public is that it reveals how bad they are at using search engines :). It’s amazing how many users type full URLs into the search bar.
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Do you ever get keyphrases that are actually your domain name or even a page on your domain? Most of the popular keyphrases for my site are related to Runescape or a TV programme I watch. *Blush* A page with the funniest keyphrases people have used to get to your site would be fun (for me, at least) to read. ;)
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That’s one reason why I stopped wanting to see my site stats. People scare me.
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@Li: oh yes! I get lots of hits for “jem”, “jemjabella”, “free avatars” etc, but they’re not as amusing.
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I read “nursey” as “nursery”…
