I had some dental work done this morning. Firstly, it meant I had to get up pre-dinner time (bastards), and secondly I ended up with several sharp objects rammed in my gob. Of course, it is my own fault for eating copious amounts of cappucino fudge bought from The Pink Sugar Mouse and not brushing my teeth properly as a kid.

I don’t know what it is about the dentist that bothers me so. I know that most people don’t like going to the dentist, and it’s not like I’m terrified.. I just sit down in that giant reclining blue chair and my legs start shaking, my arms jerk about in all directions and I’m just about ready to have a panic attack. This is even before my nice lady dentist has asked me why I’m there..

I’ll tell you now, for those who look after their teeth and who’ve not had the pleasure of fillings, they not nice. Not nice on the mouth or the bank balance afterwards. First, the dentist scrapes at the tooth with a sharp instrument, analysing it intently in preparation for the tooth-torture. Next, a 3ft long needle is inserted into the gum, usually near the back of the mouth, to inject it with that face-numbing stuff that tastes like absolute crap and leaves you feeling like your face has fallen off. Then of course there’s the drilling — oh, the drilling! If you’re lucky, the numbing-stuff has properly kicked in and it just feels like a dull whirr against the side of tooth. If you’re unlucky, this will be a sharp pain which goes on and on and on and on and… yeah, you get it.

By this point I’m usually wishing I were somewhere else, because I will have lost all control of my mouth and generally drool will be spewing everywhere. This is also the point where my tongue tends to have a fit and will jump about randomly, much like a slug who has had the misfortune of being covered in salt (don’t do it, it’s cruel). I am so glad the dentist wears gloves, otherwise I’d end up licking her finger like a rabid mutt.

Moving on.. the dentist will now clamp the tooth with a great wire contraption to prevent the tooth from breaking as the filling material is inserted into the tooth with a weird array of tools. I’m not quite sure at this point what the tools actually look like, because the protective glasses I’m wearing (don’t want to be blinded by flying drilled-tooth) have steamed up and it’s like undergoing mouth-surgery in a bucket of water.

Lastly, it’s a case of biting down on the new filling so that it fits snugly in the new tooth with no sharp edges. This would be all well and good if I could actually feel my mouth and know whether or not I’m biting down hard enough. Rinse with the pink crap (what is that?) and spit. All done, time to go home and wait for the numbing stuff to wear off.

Of course, there was no need whatsoever to share this random tale of dental woe with you guys, I just need a little sympathy.

It’s that time again — I’m dishing out another pants award. This time it’s phpeasystep.com which, according to their meta description, will “Teach you step-by-step with easy simple php code”. Simple is the right word — completely basic, with no attempt at security what-so-ever, leaving anybody who uses some of the tutorials at great risk… read full entry »

Why is it that a pianist who can play at speed without looking at the piano keys is given the utmost respect and applause and yet when I type at my normal speed (some ridiculous amount of words a minute) without looking at my keys, it’s dismissed as geeky and sad? Is speedy touch-typing not… read full entry »

It’ll come as no surprise to most of you that Dooce’s recent entry on potty training immediately made me think of my niece. She has, over the past few weeks, started down the road of learning to poop in her potty (Charlie, that is, not Dooce/Heather). It is quite early, from what I’ve heard, but… read full entry »

Look: jemjabella.com/wp/#bellabook Please notice two things about this url. Firstly, the .com domain extension. OMG THE DNS HAS PROPAGATED. Excuse me *cough*. Second, the extension of #bellabook, taking you to a key section of my themes page that now features freebie BellaBook guestbook themes (skins). Tell your family and friends, people! Offline, nothing is happening… read full entry »

I’ve gone ahead and ordered jemjabella.com through 1and1.co.uk (the same people who do all of my other domains). Eeeh, how exciting! I am justifying this purchase by not renewing Review-You, as discussed earlier in the year. I can afford to do so, I just don’t see the point in renewing the domain for a site… read full entry »

What do you reckon, jemjabella.com or jemjabella.net? (And if it helps, I’m leaning towards .com)

Toad in the Hole is a British ‘dish’ typically made of yorkshire pudding batter and sausages and is best served with mashed potatoes and gravy. I was too lazy to do the potatoes last night though. Doesn’t it just look delicious? (Photography courtesy of wikipedia.) You can find a recipe at thefoody.com, but mine was… read full entry »

Funniest interpretation of my tired mumblings ever: Me: I’ve stuck a frozen toad in the hole in the oven. Amelie: You stuck a frozen toad in your oven, just to block a hole? This post does not in any way condone cruelty to toads. I am wondering how many people will ‘get it’ though..

It’s my niece’s birthday today. Hardly feels like yesterday that I was scooping Charlotte up in my arms and watching as she opened her tiny eyes and looked at me for the first time, and yet there she was today ripping gift wrap off her hundreds of presents and chasing people around with her fairy… read full entry »