Personal archive

Read about my battles with Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), my mental health, surviving both childhood sexual abuse and a 12 year relationship plagued with emotional abuse, as well personal projects / challenges, and anything vaguely Jem-related.

You can’t go wrong with chocolate cake

After last week’s crushing failure to get back into the clean eating rhythm, recent anniversary of my oldest brother’s death, a bit of a breakdown on Saturday night where — with a room full of guests — I sobbed all over Gaz and then took myself off to bed, and a terrible morning on Tuesday… read full entry »

My Whole30: the results!

Never mind my food, my lifting and whether or not I carry on this crazy lifestyle change, I know this is the bit you’ve all been waiting for. Have I actually lost any weight or fat? To refresh your memory, my measurements at the start of whole30 were as follows: Weight: 161.6lbs (73.3kg) Thighs: L:… read full entry »

My #whole30 journey

Unless something happens in the next few days, I’m on track for completing my first whole30. Notice the word first in there? Yeah, that’s because I’d consider doing this again. So what’s the deal? I thought you were fed up with it! I have been fed up with it, for almost the entire 30 days…. read full entry »

Project £20k: Completed!

Despite my best intentions, it was inevitable that raising £20,000 to buy my ex out of our joint mortgage was an optimistic endeavour at best. Right from the beginning I had to factor in a more realistic plan: remortgaging the house for the value of the outstanding mortgage with our joint provider plus the £20k… read full entry »

Failed on the first day!

Guess who failed Whole30 on the first day? It started well enough… fried eggs and garlic mushrooms for breakfast, no coffee. However, it turns out that a getting a Whole30 compliant lunch in a chain pub is virtually impossible, and even worse than that is feeling like a massive dick trying to abstain from basically… read full entry »


Last Day of Freedom!

Today marks the last day of my nutritional freedom. I celebrated last night by eating a 2 course meal (extravagant) that was, ironically, whole30 compliant until I chucked a knob of butter on the veggies and washed it all down with a glass of wine. But really that says it all: my eating habits are… read full entry »


A Clean Slate?

I’ve had a potentially absurd idea. I can’t remember what inspired it, but I’m pretty sure that I’m going to go ahead with it. I’ve decided that if I’m going to “fix” whatever is wrong with my mental health at the moment, that the best way to start is with a completely clean slate. By… read full entry »

The things I’m not saying out loud

I am currently sat in bed crying into my second glass of wine. Wine that I shouldn’t be drinking because I’m the sole carer for my children tonight, as with most nights, and if they wake up in the middle of the night with some sort of medical emergency I want to be competent enough… read full entry »


The not-a-year-review new year post

At this time of year I traditionally write a post about the year prior and come up with some arbitrary goals for the year ahead. I can’t be arsed this year because a) you’re all fed up of me moaning about last year as it is and b) I have enough shit to be worrying… read full entry »