Parenting Two, One Week On

Where do I begin?

For starters, it turns out that kids are all different. You’d think this wouldn’t be much of a revelation being 1 of 6 myself but I certainly underestimated how much Isabel and Oliver would differ even at this stage. Little things like how they bring their wind up (Isabel didn’t, and would suffer a bit but Oliver just stretches and these massive farts echo across the room); the fact that Isabel would only sleep glued to me but Oliver prefers to be slightly apart; Isabel went from feed to feed whereas Oliver will actually sleep for short periods between. These things catch you off guard, just when you think you know what you’re doing.

But then… I think we’re different? And I think about this and can’t help but wonder if the small things are affected by not being a first timer, or whether they’d both be like this even if they had been born the other way around?

Isabel has been a superstar. She took to Oliver immediately, and has been giving him copious kisses and cuddles. She strokes his head while I change his nappy to try and soothe his fussing, and will sit and “read” her stories to him. She says he is her Oliver.

We have had some bumps in the road… the transition from a mixed Mummy & Daddy bedtime to just Daddy has been tough, and has involved some tears (hers and mine). I think it’s frustration that she’s not downstairs with me, rather than being bothered about who reads her stories, but with Oli’s latching issues (more on that another day) and bedtime coinciding with typical cluster feed time, I have no choice but to let Daddy take over. I feel like I’m choosing one child over another and that just tears me in two.

Talking of feeds — I can’t believe that we seem to have got away with only minor jealousy issues. There’ve been a few times she’s wanted a cuddle whilst I’m nursing but no real tantrums, which I had expected.

I know the best, and the worst, is yet to come. I know I have it relatively easy at the minute because Karl is off until the end of next week. But… this parenting two lark? It’s OK.

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6 comments so far

  1. Aisling said:
    On June 6, 2012 at 9:01 pm

    Okay first: you write Oli, but Karl wrote it as Olly on his FB status. This is too much for my brain to process.

    I’m glad everything is going okay, and especially that Izzy seems to be handling the change quite well so far. She’ll get used to bedtime with her dad soon enough and then it will be weird for her when you’re back in the routine. ;) Plus I’m sure she’ll start to appreciate her special time with him. So adorable, her calling him her Oliver (that sentence is weird but you get what I mean). I used to call my brother “my Mamouse” (couldn’t say Matthew at 20 months, I guess!). SHE IS SO CUTE. (I can’t go a comment or time talking to you without throwing one of those in?)

    I’m sad that you feel like you’re choosing one over the other though because you shouldn’t feel that way. :( It will only be strange to Izzy for a little while, but soon enough she won’t even remember any feelings of jealousy she may have. I know, obviously you will still remember, and that’s hard, but you know Oli’s kind of depending on you for that nourishment thing, which is fairly important. ;) SO LOTS OF HUGS TO YOU!! xx

  2. Meggan said:
    On June 6, 2012 at 9:09 pm

    Oh, this gives me hope. Thank you.

    I’m glad things are going well for you so far! Outside of the latch issues, I mean – I’m sorry you can’t seem to find anyone to take you seriously yet! Hoping that gets resolved soon. I still suspect Wesley has an upper lip tie but due to insurance switching around I never got it checked out, and now we have terrible insurance that doesn’t cover office visits, PLUS he’s weaned so there’s not really any point anymore. Gah. I’ll be on the lookout for it if/when we have baby #2 though, for sure.

    Thinking good thoughts for you for when Karl goes back go work!

  3. Melissa said:
    On June 6, 2012 at 9:43 pm

    I’m glad to hear that things are going pretty well! And in case you may need to know for future reference, going from one to two was definitely a lot worse than two to three even with the issues we’ve been dealing with ;)

  4. Mumblies said:
    On June 7, 2012 at 10:53 am

    I know what you mean about how different it is 2nd time around, although each baby is different, and the way we react to them is also different because you are no longer a newbie at parenting. Your confidence at handling/changing/feeding will affect the way you are with Oliver and also with Izzy.

    Izzy, because she is the big sister knows already what bubba is and what being a teeny baby is all about (we can all recall right back to birth under hypnosis) She has her own little world organised in her head. She wants things to stay the same for her and therefore will ask for her special treats (bedtime stories) and ignore everything else… after all, she is a big girl now, she sees her job as ‘mummy’s helper’ and unless she decides otherwise things will be calm.

    I am certain that things will be more settled soon, and you do have us at the end of the phone to shout for help should you need it :)

  5. Stephanie said:
    On June 10, 2012 at 12:17 am

    It’s good Isabel is so happy with Oli. I was a big ol’ bundle of jealousy when my mom had my brother, haha. But now we’re very good friends, and honestly we got on very well when we were kids, too. My mother told us she always wanted to make sure we had each other and instilled that in us from the time we were very young, and it’s certainly true. While there are the moments of jealousy, I’m sure it’s just the whole bumps in her routine thing, and when she gets settled into this new way of things, they’ll be two peas.