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Blog about Britney Spears. ( Keyphrase Search Percent britney spears 132 5.7% britney spears commando 55 2.3% jem 47 2%

I am slightly offended that people are more interested in Britney Spears wearing no panties than they are in me. :(

Btw: for those not bored of my self-pity and whining, I went to the doctor today because my tonsils are so swollen I’m having difficulty breathing. Anyway, the doc gets his little flashlight thing, peers into my mouth and recoils in horror. I swear, he looked like he’d just seen a bloody alien climbing out of my throat. Apparently my right tonsil was showing signs of pus. Niiiice.

Common Cold Affects Testicles

Note: this entry was originally posted in 2006 because I’d noticed someone had vandalised the “common cold” wikipedia entry. Since then, this page has received thousands upon thousands of hits from people searching for an answer to why their testicles hurt when they’ve got a cold/the flu. I can only assume it’s common for your… read full entry »

Not Well

I’m not feeling very well. I have a sore, swollen throat and watery eyes. My nose is congested and dribbly. Please leave sympathy and promises of chocolate.

It’s funny..

..if I insult a person’s ability to code, mock their design or make a general nuisance of myself by pointing out every possible flaw in a person’s website — that’s OK. You all join in, laughing and often posting much more offensive commentary than I (sometimes calling people “retard” or “moron”, even). Yet, if I… read full entry »

Britney Spears is a Trollop

That’s it Britney Spears, teach little girls to look after themselves and have a little self-respect by whipping out your frickin’ coochie in public. NICE GOING DUMBASS. For those who haven’t heard: Britney Spears — in a desperate attempt to prove that her soon to be ex-husband wasn’t the only trailor-trash in that family combination… read full entry »


Sometimes I wonder why I blog. Not because I don’t enjoy it or because I want to give it up, but because 95% of my entries are complete bollocks, 3% are only relevant to those with ‘specialist’ interests (and I’m sure half of you are only feigning interest anyway) and the other 2% make no… read full entry »

Funky Spunky

I’ve had one of “those” days (well, evenings) and I can’t be bothered to blog properly, so here’s a few funky links and spunky web pages of use/interest I’ve found recently… Just when I thought that user-sign-up spam on phpBB couldn’t get any worse I found the phpBB admin toolkit which allows me to administer… read full entry »

Internet Orgy

What do you get when you put three geeks and two Pratchetteers (new word?) into one room? Lots of discussion on the pronunciation of Linux and router, rants of nested tables, World of Warcraft (hiss boo), chavs in Telford, Dreamweaver, FrontPage, web 2.0, Nanny Ogg’s cookbook and sexual innuendo (although the latter two are much… read full entry »


Just a quick update to say “hoorah”, “success” and various shades of “awesome”! I woke up this morning to only 3 spam comments, which is greatly reduced from the 20-200 (!!!) I’ve been receiving of late. I added a line of code to mail me any comment, plus the score, of anyone who got registered… read full entry »

Comment Filtering and Other Goo

A couple of “legitimate people” (and a few trolls) have mentioned having yet more trouble getting through my far-too-strict comment blacklists, and yet frustratingly certain spammers are getting through by posting normal comments with links that simply redirect to dodgy porn/drug sites. I don’t want to ban URLs or comments altogether so I’m going to… read full entry »

What the F..ork?

I pre-ordered the new Harvest Moon for Nindento DS (at the same time as the new Harvest Moon for the GameCube) months and months ago. I got an e-mail last week telling me that the DS part of the order was delayed. I have just logged in to find out the details and spotted the… read full entry »

Pants: swimchick.net

In a way, I feel sorry for the owner of swimchick.net (“Jessica”). Of all the “crap site” nominations I receive, swimchick tops the list. It is also one of the most searched for terms by people looking through my reviews/previous pants awards. In fact, feedback on swimchick is so much in demand I feel I’m… read full entry »