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Gay Marriage Equals Polygamy!

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I like to consider myself pretty broad-minded. I like to think that I can be friends with people who believe things that go against my own beliefs and opinions, no matter how ridiculous I find them to be. However, I cannot believe how bloody angry it makes me feel to see people blaming polygamy on gay marriage.

There’s an article on MSNBC about how polygamy activism has risen since gay marriage has been legalised and certain people have seen this as an excuse to blame gay marriage — because it never would’ve happened if those darned gays hadn’t been allowed to have the same basic rights as straight couples.

You might want to check your history books, because as far as I’m aware polygamy has been around a hell of a lot longer than gays wanting to marry. In fact, according to Dooce, Mormons have been practisicing polygamy since WAY back. Y’know, those Mormons who’re all God-fearing and religious and stuff.

My Mum is getting married on Saturday. To her girlfriend. Yes, holy cow, she’s going to get hitched up to a woman. No, this doesn’t mean she’ll be sleeping with several different people every day, it doesn’t mean she’ll be practising beastiality, it doesn’t mean she’s going to want to go and fondle little boys and girls. It simply means that she is getting a legally binding contract that says she loves the woman in her life. Anyone who sees it as anything but that needs to get their head tested.

Jem Turner jem@jemjabella.co.uk +44(0)7521056376

37 comments so far

  1. Whitney said:

    Thank you for posting this! I hate it when people try to find the weirdest thing they can and blame it on gay people. I swear, a lot of people in this world have to grow up. Congrats to your mom and her girlfriend by the way! I hope their wedding day is happy and beautiful.

  2. Claire said:

    *sigh* Will this crap ever end? (Mind you, I don’t personally have a problem with polygamy, myself… Its not for me, but if all parties consent, I don’t see the problem… *shrugs*) Congratulations to you mum and her partner, I hope she has a lovely day… I’ll be marrying my girlfriend within the next year too, does that mean I’ll be making a case for the “slippery slope” towards incest as that article suggests? I think not!

  3. Shannon said:

    Wait… what? How do gay relationships connect with polygamy…? Errgh… And congratulations to your mum :D. I too hope that the wedding day will be lovely and happy.

  4. Vixx said:

    I don’t and never will understand any kind of thinking that prevents two people in love being together. Making up bollocky reasons as to why it’s evil . . . it’s beyond me. Ugh. Congrats to your mum and her missus. :) I hope you all have a fantastic day!! V xx

  5. Jem said:

    Vix: I’m not actually invited! It’s a private thing with two old friends as witnesses. She’s having a big party when she can afford it though :)

  6. Lynn said:

    Flat out, I’m against gay marriage AND polygamy BUT: it’s also a personal choice. And congratulations to your mother, because she is happy and so that makes me happy. Back to what I was going to say – polygamy, gay marriage, beastiality, etc. have nothing to do with each other unless a gay guy (or girl) wants to marry his (or her) four boyfriends and pet sheep. Until then, connections like that honestly don’t need to be made. Jem – how are you not invited??? Pooh!

  7. Jem said:

    “Until then, connections like that honestly don’t need to be made.” ..exactly. You don’t have to be for/against gay marriage to see that the different sexual preferences aren’t related to each other directly.

  8. Lynn said:

    “..exactly. You don’t have to be for/against gay marriage to see that the different sexual preferences aren’t related to each other directly.” Nope, not at all. *yawns and stretches* Toddling off to get my domain finished up. Right now it’s just pulling my lj in through a php include. Heh.

  9. aithnea said:

    I can’t believe some people and the beliefs that they hold. Some of them are just so far out there. As for the Momorns practicing polygamy, most fight against that stereotype these days. My best friend growing up is a Momorn and I spent a lot of time learning about their faith. Basically since it became illegal in the States God magically told them not to do it so they stopped. It’s really only that creepy cult in Bountiful (I think that’s the name I may be wrong) BC, Canada that practices it these days and the Mormon church is trying to distance themselves from that cult. Congrats to your mom and her girlfriend. I hope that the have a life time of happiness and good memoried together. That’s too bad you aren’t invited tho, will you be seeing her after the ceremony?

  10. Shaun said:

    Ugh, that’s so stupid. People will think up anything to try and ban gay marriage. x_x Congradulations to your mom and her friend. :) I hope they’re able to have a happy marriage.

  11. Elea said:

    I can’t help but laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of people claming that gay marriage will lead to “bigamy, poligamy, and incest.” Those are all separate issues, and gay marriage is simply about allowing two people to be united without the discrimination of sexual preference. Congratulations to your mum and her partner; may they have many more happy years together!

  12. Seven said:

    I completely agree with you. How can anyone possibly make the connection between gay marriage and polygamy? It’s like comparing cats and skunks (eh, bad analogy, but you get the idea). Congratulations to your mom. :D

  13. Joni said:

    I’ll admit to being surprised that someone like you would take a blog entry (see link to blog entry by Dooce) and treat such information as fact? If we are going to talk about the history of polygamy, one only needs to pick up a Bible and open it to Genesis…and the last time I checked the Mormon church didn’t exist back then. I’m also sure you weren’t aware of the fact that I am a Mormon…but whatever. I don’t take anything you said personally. I know people think my religion is weird and confusing and that’s totally okay. For the record, my husband has only one wife…that would be me. It will stay that way or I will kill him… :O I also think polygamy is wrong in more ways then I can count (just want to state that fact before anyone starts to make assumptions on my opinion based on what church I belong to…I hate that). As far as blaming gay marriage on the rise of polygamy activism…I guess I don’t see the connection myself, but there are people in this world who blame the gay rights movement for just about everything so I can’t say I’m surprised. Congrats to you mom, I wish her all the happiness in the world!

  14. Vera said:

    HUH? “sleeping with several different people every day”, “practising beastiality”, “go and fondle little boys and girls”… where do these people GET their ideas?

  15. Jessica said:

    I think the article would have been better written if it emphasized that more people are talking about alternative lifestyles now that the gay marriage debate has opened some doors about what can be discussed regarding the going-ons in the bedroom, but I think it was horribley written. To allude to a connection between these things in a way that undermines both types or relationships is just plain silly. I don’t have a problem with polygamy and I’m all for gay marriage and thinking of one as blaming the other is sad and ridiculous. Congrats to your mum! Hope she has a great day :)

  16. Frosty said:

    *claps* I couldn’t agree more, it gets old… I hate how the nutcase fundie groups down in the springs use the creepy fundamentalist Mormon colony down around the Four Corners Monument that practices polygamy saying that that’s what’ll happen if we’re allowed to marry… Dumb bastards, can’t wait for my state’s domestic partner law to pass so we won’t be seen as such an ass-backwards state… Congrats to your mom and her girlfriend, by the way! :D

  17. Amelie said:

    People are just using excuses because lyke omg gay marriage is soooo bad. *Rolls eyes* Congratulations to your mum. I was going to ask you a while ago whether your mum had any plans to get married since gay marriage became legal, but I forgot. Or maybe I did ask and have since forgotten as well. Meh. Anyway – I think it’s great that your mum and soon-to-be legal step-mum (is that scary? :P ) are tying the knot. Good luck to them for the big day. :D PS – and I hope no one finds this offensive, I don’t mean it as such – are married gay couples referred to as wife and wife/husband and husband? I don’t want to put my foot in my mouth when/if I talk to such a couple… Heheheh. :P No really, I’m genuinely curious.

  18. Jem said:

    I don’t know what they’re referred to, because it’s actually a civil ceremony. Which, is identical to a normal wedding in a registry office but officially without the word “marriage”. I’ll ask my Mother on Saturday what she gets to call Lou now.

  19. Tiddley said:

    *twitch* It’s hard not to discriminate against homophobes for being homophobic sometimes. ;x But congratulations for your mum! May they have a long and happy life together. :D

  20. Jim said:

    I guess, technically, I’m a Mormon. I was baptized when I was like 15 because I really wanted to bang the one guy’s daughter. I never really cared for any of it, but it was something to do. Oddly, wherever I went after I joined the Navy, they somehow tracked me down and tried getting me back to the church. As far as I was told, Polygamy isn’t condoned or accepted, and the cases where it exists, it’s tantamount to sex slavery as most of the women attempt to “escape” the lifestyle. Polygamy still exists in many cultures throughout the world though. It’s becoming big in the US as well, but I don’t blame gay marriage. I blame the Internet. I’m really not kidding. The whole Internet-hookup phenomenon has lead to an increase of unplanned pregnancies, STDs, and breakups and it could only get worse. If people choose to do it though, have it.

  21. Kimmie said:

    Nobody cared when I was married and trying so hard to be who everyone wanted me to be (who I wasn’t no matter how hard I tried), that I tried to kill myself on a daily basis. They only cared when we divorced and I came to live with my girlfriend. Me being happy in a homosexual relationship? How dare I! I am a sinner, the Bible tells them so. I’m Buddhist (grew up Catholic, got away as soon as possible… never been what I identified with), so their bible means little to me. Sure, stick to your religion for your life, but it has no bearing in mine, nor should it. I feel so many people are concentrating so hard on other’s lives, when maybe they should be paying more attention to their own. They are not God, and unless God Himself comes down and tells them to preach what is a sin and what isn’t, I believe they have no right to do so. I feel it is playing God, deciding what He would want and what He wouldn’t. Who is to say? No one! I get so tired of the people that jump from homosexual marriage to polygamy to child molesters. How absurd can you be? What’s “funny” is that polygamist can be any orientation (even heterosexual, wow!) and generally, pedophiles have no specific attraction to adults and many are attracted to both boys and girls. Go figure! I’ll never understand what people think I do that’s different from anyone else, or what the love of my life and I do. I mean, there’s the sex, and that bothers them, sure (but why are they thinking about it, I always wonder? I don’t think about them having sex!). There’s no other difference between us and a straight couple. Not a one. We do the same things, go the same places, live the same lives. Sure there is a “gay scene” I hear, but I’m not a part of it. My life is rather boring, all in all. I’m in a monogamous relationship with the same sex, and that’s really all there is to it. *steps down from soapbox* Thanks for the space, sorry if I took too much up. Congrats to your mom and her wife/partner/whatever they wish to call each other! I am so happy for them. I hope one day my girl and I can officially do the same.

  22. Rachel said:

    Yay for your mum! (that sounded odd…) Hope they continue to have a happy life together. =) I really have nothing to add, other than that, actually. I have to say I agree, and I don’t see where they’re finding the similar lines, but whatever. In the end I don’t think it matters. If someone cares to point out to me that the Bible says homosexuality is wrong, I take the time to point out that it was widely accepted in egypt/greece/rome/etc. Ta! x Rachel

  23. Reese said:

    I was just reading something similar on another site and it seems to be getting a little heated over there. My mother is gay. She was married to my dad for 29 years, unhappily (very unhappily).. she’s been with Tammy for around 3 years now and I’ve never seen her more happy, more content, more herself and more complete. This is the first time I’ve witnessed my mother showing love and seeing that she feels it entirely. People argue that marriage isn’t about love, I’d like to know what it’s about because if that’s the case, why do people marry? You can have intercourse and have the relationship without marrying too, so why do heterosexuals marry? Because they love eachother and are commiting to one another, so why not a homosexual couple? Wouldn’t they be doing the same thing? Commiting to one another? Then I’ve seen arguments that say a man and a woman were designed to be together, not a man and a man or a man and a woman.. because of the design of the penis and vagina. Funny, a penis could also fit into the anus (and some people even experiment with that outside of homosexuality) and the mouth. And the reproductive issue.. I can’t have children, but I could adopt.. so could a gay couple. They’re equally capable of parenting like anyone else. Then the ones arguing how homosexuality is “un-natural”… but what is natural? We’re all born naked, are our clothes natural? I don’t think people “choose” to be gay either, I think that is who they are and nothing can change that. It’s not like my mom woke one day and said “Hey, I need a lifestyle change, I think I’ll be gay today..”.. I think she conformed her lifestyle to fit what her family (very religious) and what her religion told her was the way to live. After years and years of being someone she’s not, she hit a breaking point. Thank heavens for that (no pun) because now I get to see and love my mother for who she really is.. inspiring, loving, caring, nurturing, respectful.. she’s just an amazing woman.. My 4 year old nephew is showing signs of being more feminine.. and possibly that he’s gay.. so, at 4, how could he known what being gay is and furthermore, choose that lifestyle? It’s ridiculous. Funny, anti-religious/satanist are “a-ok” to wed.. but aren’t they going against what the Bible teaches? What it should boil down to.. is the union of two people who love one another and wish to commit themselves to one another. Love is beautiful and no one should have the right to say who can and can’t commit that love through marriage. :(

  24. Julie said:

    I have long waited to reply (alright, maybe not so long…) because it’s a subject that always makes me mad. I am however hopeful, at the moment, that being in school might moderate my mood a bit. I am completely for gay marriage. Marriage is about love, or should be at least. Who are you to say that nobody can love a member of the same gender? (you doesn’t refer to Jem, but to everyone who claims what I just said) They sure can. Love isn’t something rational, that will limit itself to one gender only because it has been told so for centuries. There are straight couple that are happy, it’s just the same for homosexual couples. They’re not going to procreate, so what? Priests, nuns and monks aren’t either, and yet we praise them because they give their life to God. Well, members of homosexual couples give their life to each other. As for the association of polygamy and homosexuality, it is ridiculous. I do not deny there are homosexuals that have several different partners in their life, but it certainly has nothing to do with the fact that they are homosexual. It’s a question of personality, not of sexual orientation. There are heterosexual people that are unfaithful, change partners often, etc.

  25. Jordie said:

    I have always been very quiet about gay rights issues, because I wasn’t even sure what I thought and it’s very easy to offend people. The topic is thin ice, so to speak. But no matter how I look at it, I cannot see how gay marriage can go to polygamy. I’m not surprised it’s been suggested, with all the awful things people are saying about the gay population (i.e. they’re promiscuous and all that crap), but it still makes no sense. One of my closest online friends was a closeted gay for a while. I adored him and we would chat for ages online about teenage stuff. My parents even set up a webcam so we could see each other live. I knew he was having issues with girls, and I was accepting when he came out to me as gay. I felt sorry for him. He seemed nervous when he told me; he asked me if I was homophobic, I said no, which was the truth. And then his parents took away his Internet priveleges because his school told them about his sexuality. (Though I am not sure how the school found out in the first place…) I miss this guy and I have very little contact with him nowadays as I think his parents still refuse to give back his computer privileges. He has managed to e-mail me a couple of times from school computers, but I have not heard from him in a while. He joined LiveJournal and wrote a bit about how he was being bullied at school for his sexuality and my heart just went out to him. It’s a shame gay people are treated this way and it breaks my heart to see my friend so distressed about the whole thing, about how he’s being treated at school and all of that. He seems to have found some friends on LiveJournal so I am happy for him.

  26. Amber said:

    I heard a pretty stupid analogy the other day– “If people can marry whoever they want, then I should be able to marry this CD player.” Uh, what? Last time I thought this was about HUMANS being treated the same.. not CD players? |:

  27. DONNA said:

    I AM AGAINST GAY MARRIAGE AS THE GAY WAY OF LIFE IS CONDEMNED IN THE BIBLE OVER AND OVER AS AN ABOMINATION. I CONSIDER MYSELF SPIRITUAL NOT OF ANY RELIGIOUS ORGANIZATION ALTHOUGH I HAVE LIVED AMONG MORMONS BOTH FUNDAMENTAL AND THE ONES WHO REJECT POLYGAMY WHICH IS INCORRECT AS IT IS A WORD THAT REFLECTS MANY PARTNERS, NOT JUST MANY WIVES. THE CORRECT WORD FOR MANY WIVES IS POLYGNY(POLE IJ JANY). UNTIL A FEW YEARS AGO I WAS AGAINST POLYGNY AS I DID NOT WANT MY HUSBAND TO FAVOR ANOTHER WOMAN. I NOW LOOK AT IT AS AN EXTRA PAIR OF HANDS TO SHARE THE WORK LOAD OF MAINTAINING THE HOUSHOLD, ADDED INCOME AND A FRIEND FOR ME AS I WOULD HAVE TO OK ANY WOMAN BROUGHT INTO THE FOLD. IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE A LEGAL MARRIAGE, BUT AS THE FUNDAMENTALISTS DO, HAVE ONE LEGALLY MARRIED WIFE ( ME) AND SEVERAL SPIRITUAL WIVES WHO SHARE THE HOUSEHOLD BURDEN AND MY BELOVED HUSBAND EQUALLY AS AGREED AMONG THEM. IT IS CLEAR TO ME THAT GOD DOES NOT FORBID IN THE BIBLE IN ANY WAY, MULTIPLE WIVES AND IT IS CLEAR TO ME BY THE VERY KNOWLEDGE THAT A MAN CAN HANDLE MANY WOMEN SEXUALLY MUCH BETTER THAN A WOMAN CAN HANDLE MANY MEN. SOME WOMEN DO NOT EVEN DESIRE SEX AT ALL AND THAT WOULD BE OK IN A POLYGYNEST FAMILY. THOSE WHO WANT TO BE PHYSICAL CAN AND THOSE WHO DO NOT DO NOT HAVE TO. IT GIVES A WOMAN A CHOICE. ONE CONSUMATION IS ALL THAT IS NEEDED TO MAKE IT A VIABLE MARRIAGE, AND FROM THEN ON SHE IS IN CONTROL OF HER SEXUALITY. PEOPLE SEEM TO FORGET THAT POLYGYNY IS NOT AT ALL ABOUT SEXUALITY, BUT STRENGTH IN THE FAMILY AND WITH A GOOD MAN IS WORTH STRIVING FOR. AND IS A COMMUNAL TYPE RELATIONSHIP AND NOT ABOUT SEXUAL ORGIES. SORRY I CANNOT CONGRATULATE AN ABOMINATION WHICH IS GOING TO SHUT YOUR MOM OUT OF HEAVEN FOR ETERNITY. I DO WISH HER HAPPINESS BUT BY OTHER VENUES, NOT HOMOSEXUALITY. THANKS

  28. Kelly said:

    donna, lets be honest with one another. i also have lived the lifestyle and it is not all that easy. i have no clue where you are from but things were never that smooth. i am 35 and have n=been married for the last 4 years to one man and would never share my man with anybody,my mother on the other hand has shared my father with 4 other women who were not always very nice to us children. im not saying that all polygamy is wrong, but i am saying that what you are saying is wrong. first off i do not believe you were born into piolygamy, so if you havent a clue on how it would be as a child you shouldnt make any comment. i know first hand and it hurts to see how people think this is nothing, its a serious problem that needs to be stopped when it involvs children, and when i say children i mean little children. the whole beasteality thing above really made no sense but whatever that was about needs to be corrected. gay marriage and polygamy are two totally different things but i can see how they are trying to relate the two. if they legalize gay marriage for 2 people who truly love one another why not 6,7,or even 8 people who love one another. well whatever. it hurts to see anybody not truly happy, i dont believe that polygamy makes anybody truly happy, thats just my oppinion, and my oppinion should matter ive lived a life of polygamy and know exactly what happens.just to make light of the subject, ive never seen anybody in my family or any neighbors ever sleeping with an animal, and believe me ive seen alot.lol

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