Your Outsourced Support Sucks

I was trying to renew a domain for work earlier this week. After logging in to the control panel, I clicked the “Renew Domains” button and was presented with:

Database error: Invalid SQL: SELECT * FROM domains dom, members mem WHERE dom.dom_id = AND (dom.dom_registrant = ##### OR dom.dom_admin = ##### OR dom.dom_technical = ##### OR dom.dom_billing = #####) AND mem.mem_id = dom.dom_registrant AND dom.dom_approved <> "R"

MySQL Error: 1064 (You have an error in your SQL syntax. Check the manual that corresponds to your MySQL server version for the right syntax to use near ‘AND (dom.dom_registrant = ##### OR dom.dom_admin = ##### OR dom)
Session halted.

The error was caused by a JavaScript-dependant button which, normally, would send the account number (removed for privacy reasons, obviously) in the query, between the = and the AND: dom.dom_id = AND. As I use NoScript, JavaScript was disabled by default, and thus the error had appeared.

Because I’m a helpful person (hah) I contacted support. The conversation goes as follows (my responses in black; theirs as normal):

Hello

You didn’t have a tech support email address listed on your site so I’m assuming this is the next best thing.

I just logged to my control panel, and selected the Renew Domain button here: [url here]

Because I browse with JavaScript disabled by default, I got the following error:

[sql error here]

You may wish to implement a <noscript> alternative, or disable the button until users enable JS.

Provide URL of error, what the error is, and a solution. You can’t say fairer than that?

Hello,

Thank you for your email.

It seems your SQL command has the syntax error. Please can you fill in the value in XXX below :

dom.dom_id = XXX AND …

If you have further queries, please feel free to let us know.

I’m thinking “eh?” — I thought I’d made it pretty clear that this was their error, not one of mine. Nonetheless…

I think you misunderstand – that’s YOUR error, on YOUR site. I was trying to help you out….

Can’t get much clearer than caps, right?

Hello,

Thank you for your email.

Please can you see the error message stating that ‘You have an error in your SQL syntax’

you need to enter the value in the = statement as this can not leave blank. Then try again.

If you have further queries, please feel free to let us know.

…

I think I give up?

13 comments so far

  1. Vasili said:
    On 29 Aug at 7:04 pm

    Err… do you have to make the query?

  2. Carly said:
    On 29 Aug at 7:17 pm

    What a joke!

    You would have expected a reponse like ‘thank you for bringing this issue to light, we will notify our technical team in due course’ etc!

    lol!

  3. Katy said:
    On 29 Aug at 7:59 pm

    wow, surely the main point is that displaying entire queries/errors on a client facing website is really really really stupid…

    but yes, I suspect they don’t actually read their emails. Just scan for keywords and chuck out an answer, heh

  4. Amelie said:
    On 29 Aug at 8:00 pm

    Almost as useful as the bank I called up earlier. Outsourced support smells.

  5. Stepherz said:
    On 29 Aug at 8:03 pm

    You just got find good support these days…

  6. Merike said:
    On 29 Aug at 8:36 pm

    Odd. Had a similar case about 2 weeks ago. And I started my mail stating that I had already solved the problem but they might want to know that.. Now I didn’t also pick the most correct address to send, but rather the one that I found quickest (general feedback address) on website, but still.. I got an email telling me what I should do to solve the already solved issue as a reply of course :D.

  7. Christina said:
    On 29 Aug at 8:58 pm

    Hahaha, so much for trying to help them out. I like that they understood what the error was, but couldn’t understand that it was THEIR error and not yours.

  8. Lishy said:
    On 29 Aug at 9:20 pm

    Lol, must have been annoying.
    Don’t you just hate automated responses?
    I called Orange phone line the other day and pressed 1,then 7, then 9 etc etc etc as they make you do before you can speak to anyone, and when they said ‘Press 1 to talk to customer services’, so I pressed 1 nd the line went dead!
    Useless, aren’t they, automated responses?
    Nice navigation hovers btw :)

  9. Louise said:
    On 30 Aug at 12:21 am

    Tell them they suck, and then switch registrars. :/

  10. Sarah said:
    On 30 Aug at 3:11 am

    I freaking hate that stuff. My friend works as a programmer at an insurance company in town and she recently had a similar problem. They got some Javascript error on another company’s site, and just to be nice, they informed the other company about it. The other company calls them back (some Indian guy who didn’t speak the Engrish too well) and starts talking about problems with my friend’s company’s computer or operating system.

    Freaking Lexmark, too: we all avoid calling tech support from work because it’s outsourced to India and none of those folks understand what we’re trying to tell them when we have a problem. It’s best just to poke around the office and find some local guru who knows something other than a written script.

  11. Brenda said:
    On 30 Aug at 7:43 am

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Okay, this is just too classic. Obviously the tech support has no clue about what the ‘tech’ in his/her title even stands for, considering how he/she has no clue how SQL even works.

  12. Jabed said:
    On 30 Aug at 11:31 am

    Keep at it Jem, they should eventually get what you mean.

  13. Stephanie said:
    On 30 Aug at 4:22 pm

    Silly outsourced workers.

    You would think companies would figure out the correlation between the amount of outsourcing they do and the amount of pissed off customers that say they have shit for service.