Proper HTML Like Wot I Does

According to Millie, “Everyone needs to know the proper usage of basic HTML” and that includes <font face="tahoma"> and <your text here</u>. And don’t forget to customise your blockquote elements with the following snippet:

00px;
text-align: left;
border-top: 0px dotted #;
border-left: 2px solid #000000;
border-right: 0px solid #;
border-bottom: 0px solid #;
padding: 5px;
background-color: #ffffff;
}

If that doesn’t work for you, you can simply con your visitors into thinking you’re l33t by copying an old tutorialtastic tutorial and changing the wording to suit, redundant  s and all.

There you go kiddies, I hope you’ve learnt something today!

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37 comments so far

  1. Kristine said:
    On March 22, 2008 at 10:08 pm

    Hah. Don’t you just love wannabes, teeny-bopping losers who provide horrific tutorials such as that?

  2. TBQ said:
    On March 22, 2008 at 10:09 pm

    At least she has a long list of people she credits… sans a few?

  3. Rachael said:
    On March 22, 2008 at 10:35 pm

    If you’re going to teach someone something, you should at least make sure you’re teaching them correctly.

  4. Julie said:
    On March 22, 2008 at 10:55 pm

    Oh thank you! I wanted to start coding me own site, I’m gonna need this. *bookmarks*

  5. Vera said:
    On March 22, 2008 at 11:02 pm

    Please do mention that you closed the sarcasm tag, lest some hapless n00b will think this is genuine. How do you find these people?!

  6. Lene said:
    On March 22, 2008 at 11:49 pm

    @ Vera: I think Jem has a radar that detects horrible code and e-thieves :P Her other tutorials are just as lulzy, I was going to check them all out but my eyes were in pain.

  7. Sarah said:
    On March 22, 2008 at 11:58 pm

    Ick, her website is awful. She really has no idea what she’s doing.

  8. Amelie said:
    On March 23, 2008 at 12:10 am

    In her defence, she did stop redistributing PAI when I told her to.

  9. Shannon said:
    On March 23, 2008 at 12:14 am

    PROPAH YU-SAGE. I really need to properly use my HTML. I’ve never prided myself on understanding programming like this, like how to get text underlined. Oh, dear.

  10. Julie said:
    On March 23, 2008 at 12:26 am

    Oh, she’s a friend of Emily, apparently.

  11. Jenny said:
    On March 23, 2008 at 1:53 am

    00px? Just … 00px? Come on. :(

  12. Aaron said:
    On March 23, 2008 at 3:22 am

    *stares* Hmm, well, once I resize her text so I can read, I should get on with doing a complete overhaul of my website. I suppose I should throw this CSS out the window and crack out those good ol’ font tags! This made me laugh, which brightened up a rather dull day.

  13. Nyx said:
    On March 23, 2008 at 3:29 am

    … would that CSS even WORK?

  14. Stephanie said:
    On March 23, 2008 at 3:30 am

    *snortOL*

  15. Ilona said:
    On March 23, 2008 at 3:59 am

    What’s with the close link on the header image, huh? I can’t read her white text and links on the sidebar. Oh, and in [i]her[/i] tutorial to convert HTML to PHP, she thanks Emily of pixelfx.org! Figures. There’s also this as a closing of the tutorial.. Everyone should [b]back up thier files[/b]

  16. Mackenzie said:
    On March 23, 2008 at 4:33 am

    Apparently she’s blown out 16 candles, so she’s… 7 decimal something years old? It’s such a dumb trend I’ve noticed. If she’s 16, then she’s blown out 1+2+3+4+5+6, etc. candles (136 total xD)

  17. Vera said:
    On March 23, 2008 at 6:13 am

    Mackenzie: not necessarily. Maybe she didn’t blow out candles on all her birthdays :P

  18. Rachel said:
    On March 23, 2008 at 7:06 am

    Should I be worried that she actually wiki-linked ENGLAND? Wow…wow. Ahh, Jem. I do admire your ability to keep a cool head through all the thieves. At one of my sites, I catch them rarely and I get irritated.

  19. Daniela said:
    On March 23, 2008 at 9:05 am

    Apart from distributing other peoples scripts (Dodos Mail, PHPAskIt) and stating Some I’ve had for quite sometime so I don’t have anyone to credit, if it belongs to you please email. for the downloads section, she supposingly does not know anything about correct HTML. Does that qualify her for the Pants Award? :-)

  20. Daniela said:
    On March 23, 2008 at 9:08 am

    Ooops, part of my comment was actually a quote from her site: Some I’ve had for quite sometime so I don’t have anyone to credit, if it belongs to you please email. Credits expires, according to her ;-)

  21. Aimee said:
    On March 23, 2008 at 9:49 am

    Wow. People never cease to amaze – disappoint? disgust? – me.

  22. Baohan said:
    On March 23, 2008 at 1:41 pm

    I felt funny. I actually thought that her site looked nice from my first sight but now it’s hilarious. That CSS and

  23. Xuan said:
    On March 23, 2008 at 1:53 pm

    I LOLed. Now I’m feeling kind of nauseous… But GOD, that site really is awful.

  24. Ann said:
    On March 23, 2008 at 2:46 pm

    LOL. Aparrently we’re “talking trash about her site”, according to her latest comment. So criticism = trash now? Nice.

  25. Maryann said:
    On March 23, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    I can’t stand that site.

  26. Annie said:
    On March 23, 2008 at 3:04 pm

    LOL. I’m glad I always stuck to Lissa Explains to learn things rather than venturing onto these teenybopper sites.

  27. Robmarie said:
    On March 23, 2008 at 8:45 pm

    Ph33r her HTML skillz, y0! But at least she closed her “img src” tags with a slash, right? :P

  28. Lil said:
    On March 24, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    The girl’s practically the fountain of freaking knowledge. I want to build a website solely based on her wise words.

  29. Rammi said:
    On March 24, 2008 at 5:47 pm

    This is just what I needed to give me a kick up the butt to revamp my website… Note to self: Excessively small, unreadable text does not make a website any better…

  30. Zatanna said:
    On March 24, 2008 at 6:18 pm

    The only thing I liked about her site was her banner, until I read her ‘past layouts’ page and saw that it was created by someone else (on deviantart). I doubt she asked for permission, it doesn’t say she did.

  31. Melissa said:
    On March 24, 2008 at 9:28 pm

    Omg, thx Jem 4 teh tipz!!!1!one!! No really, I’m totally using that blockquote snippet. >.>

  32. Mike Haddad said:
    On March 25, 2008 at 5:49 pm

    That hurt me, so bad.

  33. Jem said:
    On March 25, 2008 at 8:57 pm

    I can’t stand that site. @Maryann: your tutorials are just as shit.

  34. Christine said:
    On March 26, 2008 at 3:36 pm

    I like to envision Jem like this giant beautiful Spider Queen lady surrounded by crystals and gems and sparkly stuff w/ this vast network of shimmery webs and what not that extend through out the interweb and reverberate information back to her… it makes a pretty picture in my head XD

  35. vic said:
    On March 27, 2008 at 2:21 pm

    what????? wooosh

  36. Niki said:
    On March 29, 2008 at 4:09 am

    I like to envision Jem like this giant beautiful Spider Queen lady *obnoxious* Is she wearing clothes? Millie can be her dragonfly slave. And we’ll all be her happy spider minions.