Killing Myself Slowly


Guess which lucky person has managed to give themselves food poisoning?

I don’t know how, because I’m so ridiculously anal about raw meats and things, but last night I was mightily sick. I’d been sat on the sofa all evening since tea (dinner) — which contained the deadly chicken thigh — playing Zelda. Not a symptom in sight, then at about 10:45 I stood up and by GOD did I feel rough. My entire body suddenly hurt, my head was splitting and I felt as sick as a dog (I don’t get that phrase but whatever.)

I figured I could go to bed and sleep it off but, come midnight-ish I was shaking violently with cold-shivers, was in pain from stomach cramps and could feel the ick oozing up inside me. The crazy thing about the shivers was I wasn’t actually that cold. Anyway, I went to the loo and proceeded to projectile vomit. Nice. It cured the shivers though, which allowed me to sleep.

I’m still rough today, and I am so bloody hungry, but the sight and smell of food is making me gag. I’m on a fluids-only diet tonight, unless I can dig something out of the cupboard that doesn’t make me heave. :(

Jem Turner +44(0)7521056376

34 comments so far

  1. Rachael said:
    On December 10, 2007 at 7:22 pm

    I wondered where you were today… *big squishy hugs* Go curl up with Hex and Karl, and feel better soon. Love you.

  2. TWD said:
    On December 10, 2007 at 7:25 pm

    Oh my o_O At least you can claim to have projectile vomited once in your lifetime? Liquid diet’s probably the best idea. Good luck with your recovery! (And then sue the chicken guy afterwards!)

  3. Amber said:
    On December 10, 2007 at 7:26 pm

    I always get Coca Cola cravings (from the glass bottles!) after I’ve been sick, for some reason. Hope you feel better. :)

  4. Grant said:
    On December 10, 2007 at 7:29 pm

    I don’t ever know what to say to sick people, I don’t want to say get well soon because, well why not now! So i will probably just say get well NOW! ;)

  5. Jessica said:
    On December 10, 2007 at 7:36 pm


  6. Carly said:
    On December 10, 2007 at 8:08 pm

    Oh dear, oh dear. Did you go see a doctor? I hope you’re feeling better soon!

  7. Hev said:
    On December 10, 2007 at 8:14 pm

    Feel better soon, Jem. What about some Jell-O? Maybe that would stay down. My mother always gives me that when when I am sick.

  8. Vera said:
    On December 10, 2007 at 8:53 pm

    Ugh that sounds uncomfortable to say the least. I think I’ll subscribe to Grant’s idea and hope that you’re already feeling better. Being sick is only fun in high school, when you get to stay at home and mom brings you lemon tea, and puts a cooling hand on your forehead… I must ensure that mom never reads this comment though. Maybe it’s an influenza though, and not the meat. My parents tell me such things don’t manifest themselves so soon. They take a day.

  9. Jem said:
    On December 10, 2007 at 8:56 pm

    My parents tell me such things don’t manifest themselves so soon. They take a day. I did some reading and discovered that the time it takes to come into effect varies on what sort of food poisoning you have. As it was likely that it was the chicken causing the problems, it was probably salmonella – in which case the symptoms can appear pretty quick. That said, I had prawns the night before which could have been the cause too :S I doubt it’s flu, I’m quite a lot better today/this evening compared to last night, and flu lasts for ages!

  10. Phil said:
    On December 10, 2007 at 9:23 pm

    Get better soon!

  11. Michelle said:
    On December 10, 2007 at 10:04 pm

    Ick, that’s no good! I hope you’re feeling better now, Jem. Was the thigh undercooked or was it something actually in the chicken?

  12. Jem said:
    On December 10, 2007 at 10:11 pm

    I haven’t a clue Michelle. My only theory was that I missed a bit after scrubbing down the knife/chopping board/etc.. :(

  13. Paddy said:
    On December 10, 2007 at 10:42 pm

    Watered down orange juice and flat lemonade does wonders! Don’t ever study hospitality of food tech. It’ll make you permanently paranoid and you’ll be pulling facts and statistics of your chances of getting sick after eating any type of food. Chances are you got salmonella which is common in chicken, meats and dairy, but it wouldn’t have been chlostridium botulinum because that’s mainly in canned foods. Chlostridium perfringens however is more found in processed meats but you never know, it could’ve been listeria which can be found in any foods. Perhaps it was left in the temperature danger zone (between 5-60C) for more than four hours? The bacteria would’ve been doubling every 20 minutes, or perhaps it was just cross contamination. Was the cooked chicken placed on a board raw chicken was placed on without it being sanitised between uses? I’m sorry, but you gotta give me this one, for once I have SOME knowledge on one of your posts and can at least PRETEND to sound technical! Either way, hope you feel better soon Jem.

  14. Lene said:
    On December 10, 2007 at 11:16 pm

    Wow… that’s so dangerous, I’m glad to hear you’re okay. We don’t want Jem dying this young! I’ve never been in that situation but I’m sure it must be horrible :( Feel better soon!

  15. Julie said:
    On December 10, 2007 at 11:46 pm

    Hope you get better soon.

  16. Kris said:
    On December 10, 2007 at 11:52 pm

    ahahha owned mom always did teach you to cook food properly but noooo you dont listen xD

  17. Aisling said:
    On December 11, 2007 at 1:04 am

    Oh, feel better soon! I was just talking to my mom about salmonella, because she is cooking chicken at this moment. My friend believes it can jump clear across the room to kill us all. :P

  18. Kaylee said:
    On December 11, 2007 at 1:11 am

    Kill some time it very funny

  19. Ashley said:
    On December 11, 2007 at 1:52 am

    Ugh. :( Poor Jem. I went to the doctor myself today. I’m sick too. Luckily, I haven’t vomited since 5th grade and don’t plan on starting back any time soon. Feel better!

  20. Roxanne said:
    On December 11, 2007 at 3:41 am

    Aw that’s horrible. Do they have a medicine over there called Mylanta? It works wonders…although it makes you throw up, but it helps to flush of the stomach and in no time you will be better. Of course, if they don’t then…I’m sorry. Hope you feel better soon!

  21. Britney said:
    On December 11, 2007 at 3:44 am

    I’ve never gotten food poisoning. *knock on wood* It sounds very unpleasant and I hope you feel better.

  22. Xuan said:
    On December 11, 2007 at 5:20 am

    Argh, food poinsoning. Nasty stuff. Hope you feel better soon, Jem!

  23. Chrissy said:
    On December 11, 2007 at 6:37 am

    Maybe it was just a stomach flu. Tis the season, after all. Hope you feel better soon!

  24. Annie said:
    On December 11, 2007 at 9:10 am

    I hope you feel a lot better now :). It’s got to have been the chicken because you can actually have prawns raw :S.

  25. Tanya said:
    On December 11, 2007 at 9:34 am

    Get better soon, Jem. The last time I had food poisoning, I found a bit of dry cereal would stay down without problem and ease my hunger pains. @ Annie: It was just as likely to be the prawns, I think. They’re responsible for a lot of food poisoning cases because they’re highly perishable and have a higher than average chance of allowing bacteria to grow and multiply during defrosting.

  26. Jem said:
    On December 11, 2007 at 10:13 am

    Yeah, raw prawns are only OK if they’re super super fresh AFAIK. These weren’t frozen but they had been in the fridge at least a day or so.

  27. Mumblies said:
    On December 11, 2007 at 11:18 am

    You do not have food poisoning Jem, you have whatever it was that also struck me down late last night with shivers/fever/floatiness/ one minute i was fine watching the tv, the next i felt like i had taken drugs…detatched and floaty and not quite aware of what was going on. I have not had the pleasure of the projectile vomiting, but i felt quite icky too. Rob said he felt “odd” a couple of days ago and he slept the clock around. I went to bed last night, spent most of the night drinking water trying to cure the terrible thirst i had and finally got up at 11am feeling slightly better if somewhat lightheaded. I think what you have is a bug/lurgy quite probably caught off me (sorry) Hope you feel better soon.

  28. Kim said:
    On December 11, 2007 at 1:45 pm

    Oh dear! Food poisoning sucks, I’ve both been there and done that myself. =/ I really hope you feel better very soon.

  29. Brigitte said:
    On December 11, 2007 at 2:18 pm

    Ouch. Hope you feel better soon! I suggest saltine crackers, they’re easy to keep down and, if you can’t, are merciful on the way up. They’re my food-of-choice when I get the poison.

  30. Lemm said:
    On December 11, 2007 at 6:10 pm

    Cripes…well it probably won’t make you feel better, but vomiting is a good thing with food poisoning…I’ve had that before. Get well soon!

  31. Sarah said:
    On December 11, 2007 at 8:23 pm

    I hope you feel better soon. :( Watch it with that fluids-only diet stuff: you’ll end up being a crazy pro-ana chick before you know it!

  32. Snowcore said:
    On December 12, 2007 at 12:48 pm

    Feel better ASAP ! ;-)

  33. Rebecca said:
    On December 12, 2007 at 10:19 pm

    You know what’s worse than food poisoning? Getting food poisoning at work. It happened to a friend of mine; he was working and suddenly became overwhelmed with the sudden urge to run to the bathroom, and to stay there for the next two hours or so…

  34. Jessica said:
    On December 16, 2007 at 7:27 am

    I was going to tell you this in my other comment but needed to maintain the little bit of order in my mind by posting to the right post… Anyhow I do hope you feel better soon. I got severe food poisoning from Quiznos. I will never go there again.