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Best News Story of the Year

 |  Misc

Now this one really tickled my funny bone..

Bomb squad officers called in to blow up a suspicious package found it contained a packet of chocolate buttons and a vibrator.

I feel sorry for the poor sod who was sat at home waiting for their new toy. Oh, and Karl said something about adding a “bang” to their evening (*groan*).

Jem Turner +44(0)7521056376

23 comments so far

  1. Karl said:

    Oi! At least I didn’t say “Only after they used it”, in response to this bit: A police spokesman said: “Officers had no way of knowing what was inside the package. But it gave us a giggle.” Cheeky. Groan at my jokes, would you? Tch.

  2. Catherine said:

    I know that some men might be threatened by the idea of a vibrator, but this is possibly taking the idea of removing that threat just a little too far.

  3. Mike said:

    Of course, it’s company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo… always use the indefinite article: “a” dildo… never… “your” dildo.

  4. Aaron said:

    This news just makes this day even better. We had a “bomb” in my locker at school. Stupid metronome. It just had to be in there ticking…

  5. Sarah said:

    If you’re going to buy a vibrator, you don’t buy chocolate buttons. You buy rich, expensive ice cream, maybe, but more likely you buy pornography. Honestly, who even eats chocolate buttons!

  6. Jordan said:

    It’s obviously time for me to go to sleep, because I meant to put in “Fight Club,” but for some odd reason Meet the Parents came out.. Weird… D:

  7. Xuan said:

    Ahahah! Oh dear Lord that beats the article on thrush I found today by a mile. Does this sudden outbreak of ridicule-able crap mean I should keep up with BBC now?

  8. Rachael said:

    Aw, that’s cute. It reminds me of a problem we often have at work. I work in the gas detection industry, and our gas detectors have alarms on them which go off when they’re faulty, or when they’ve detected gas. One company has a beeping gas detector returned, and they didn’t know what it was, so they evactuated the whole building… Another time, a guy working in F1 had to take some very pricey equipment as hand luggage. He accidentally left it in the airport, and they blew it up. It was worth just over one hundred grand. Nice.

  9. Paddy said:

    How funny would it be for the person who sent it though..! I find it highly amusing that they shut down the street for an hour haha – allll because of a vibrator. Gimme a couple of days and I’ll have a good one-liner for you. I’m thinking something to do with the actual ‘groaning’ ahah hmm..

  10. Loadx said:

    Of course, it’s company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo… always use the indefinite article: “a” dildo… never… “your” dildo. @mike: You stole my quote idea :( One has to wonder why they didn’t just xray it to see what was inside…

  11. Nan said:

    I wonder if the person who ordered this package will step forward in the media and claim the package now where everyone is talking about it. It must be a little embarrassing though.

  12. Ashley said:

    Sheesh, good thing there wasn’t a tiny kitten inside or something. Couldn’t they have investigated it a bit more before blowing it up? Seems a bit extreme.

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