You Know You’re a Geek When…

…you create a PHP script to parse your telephone bills because you can’t be bothered to install suitable software to deal with .csv files.

phone bill

(If anyone wants that code btw, let me know and I’ll hook you up. It’s designed to parse BT phone bills in .csv format with colour coding depending on the incoming call ‘type’.)

BellaBook 3.4 is up. The upgrade process is simple — and the same as always — download the new version, delete the .txt files, re-customise config.php and upload over the top of your old stuff. Installation is similar only minus the deleting .txt files bit.

Will probably update this entry with more crap later.. going to eat my mashed potatoes and sausages now :9 PS. Please send particularly bad sites for Pants Awards/review nominations, I seem to have lost most of the ones I had.

Update (16th Feb): I’ve updated my Unsafe Scripts entry to include SimpleDir. Do not use this script, for the love of all that is geeky.


  1. Bahhhahah you should have something like that offered (like bellabooks), but bellabills xD.

  2. Jem

    15 Feb at 10:40 pm

    BellaBills! I love that XD

  3. Oh my…that is geeky. Eventually, I’m putting BellaBook in my site. I just don’t know when that will be. I’m taking your mashed potatoes, by the way. I love mashed potatoes.

  4. Wow, that really is geeky. But you know what, that’s pretty attractive too. ;) All this talk I see about BellaBuffs makes me want to create something just to use the damned thing. o.O

  5. OMGsh PICZO sites are awful! PANTS AWAY JEM!! You could randomly choose to pants any of these sites, and you wouldn’t have to feel guilty for it. I recently was show by Hillarie one of these, and I was discusted! p.s. my site is really crappy right now, so don’t be crule and pants me! :) i swear i am working on getting it fixed!

  6. LOL, BellaBills! XD Oooh, new BellaBuffs! *skips off to download*

  7. Haha, that’s shibby. Brilliant idea, a whole ‘BellaBills’ thing would be totally useful. But damn, I can’t get over how expensive your bills are. Nearly US$0.50 a minute just to call a cellphone? AUGH EXPENSIVE MY WALLET CRIES IN PAIN. Guess I’m spoiled by having unlimited calling on the landline, but still… Even my cellphone costs aren’t that outrageous, and I think that thing’s expensive! :P

  8. Thanks for the new version of Bellabook! It looks really awesome. I love it!

  9. Haha, I think BellaBills is amazing. :D Best name in the series yet, haha. *is amused*

  10. I’d be worried if you didn’t behave in a geeky manner. It is pretty cool though that you can just whip up your own script if you don’t have the one that you need. It’s a shame my parents use NTL and not BT. :P (Bellabills, for the win!)

  11. I’ve finally begun to understand the php syntax, C’s obviously good for something! oo I’m tempted to install a guestbook rather than have a wordpress page…..

  12. OMGsh PICZO sites are awful! PANTS AWAY JEM!! Those things are beyond pants awards. I ran screaming from the computer when I visited one.

  13. ..that’s shibby. ..for the win! I ran screaming from the computer… LOL. XD … Jem, you have some of the wittiest commentators.

  14. @Mary: I’ve had worse. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw one!

  15. I’ve never heard of such a thing as a PHP script for managing your phone bill. Creative, yes. But honestly, for me, it’d be a waste of server space.

  16. Jem

    16 Feb at 9:11 pm

    @Stephanie: It’s less than 2Kb in size and is on my laptop, not my server ;)

  17. @ Mary, Melissa, and Hillarie Wow! I didn’t know anyone could nearly die from seeing a piczo site… But, I do believe it! ha ha I think I may have brought up a sensitive comment!

  18. That is indeed very smart! I don’t use my cellphone that much… according to myself not the amount of refill messages in my inbox though. I love the Bella Series.

  19. I might have some for you, and I apoligize in advance for any retinal damage you may incur; I do not hold responsibility! – Not so much the design aspect anymore (but let me tell you her last site had i-frames) but good lord, READ what she “writes.”

  20. Wow, very geeky, aha. But amazing. I think that’s so awesome though, having something to manage your phone bills. XD

  21. Jemmm, have you gotten any of my PM’s on the BBS? :D

  22. I give double recommendation for the site Jordan recommended:

  23. just as we thought you couldn’t get any geekier!

  24. Ohh do you still have that script going? It looks interesting.And BT only like sending me a bill every 3months