Baby Oliver’s Birth Story

I guess things started with the twinges in my pelvic region on Tuesday night but as I’d had worse last week I’d thought nothing of it; I had actually become accustomed to the idea of having another late baby and had a long list of things to do this week. I went to bed Tues night, but didn’t sleep well… backache had randomly appeared and I was having to get up every 45 mins to pee. I got fed up of tossing and turning at 4:30am so got out of bed, had a cuppa and low and behold started having very mild contractions. It was then I tweeted my first labour tweet #uhoh

I was kept suitably distracted for around an hour by Erin who, despite trolling me in 2010 and signing up to Snark just to spam her crappy contest, had the nerve to ask me to “make her a script like rev.iew.me” for free. I’ll save the hilarity of that one for another day.

Anyway, I eventually woke Karl to tell him he wouldn’t be going to work that day… he responds “I have to”. Well, love, only if you want to miss the birth of your child!

Isabel woke before 6am and while I got her fed and dressed the contractions mostly disappeared — what a clever body.

Around this point I rang the Midwife Led Unit to advise them I was in early labour, mentioned my previous delivery and repeat iron issues. I acknowledged their protocol but told them I was either giving birth at the MLU or at home. They told me to ring back later. I barfed up my breakfast mid-contraction.

Around 7:30am Karl took Isabel off to nursery to try and keep her usual routine, my mum arrived to keep me company. I took some paracetamol (don’t know why, seemed like it might help… it didn’t) as the contractions started getting closer together; about 3-4 minutes apart. I rang the MLU back, they told me to come in straight away.

When I got to the MLU I was told there were two senior midwives on duty, someone suggested that one (Supervisor of Midwives) had been called in specifically because of/for me. The SoM just happened to be a lady I clicked with when I was pregnant with Izz and I couldn’t have asked for a better person to support my labour.

The SoM did a vaginal, said I was 4-5cm dilated and that my ‘membranes were bulging’. Still very manageable pain levels so we decided to go for a walk. Too hot outside, retreat back to labour room to keep up my pacing.

The contractions really started to get intense around 12:30 and so I finally ‘gave in’ to gas & air. The midwife fetched me a birth ball which allowed me to stay in a good position but rest my legs; this really started to speed things up and around 2pm I began to question the sanity of a #2 (last tweet, phone was annoying me again).

At this point (just past 2pm) the contractions started piling on top of one another — despite the pain, I was still laughing/joking between contractions with the midwife and Karl and I think being comfortable in my birth environment was a huge help — the midwife tells me she knows I’m pushing as I am ‘mooing’ (classy). I hadn’t realised what I was doing, I was just letting my body get on with it (albeit vocally it would seem). She asked me if I wanted my waters broken or if I wanted no intervention and although the latter was my original plan, I thought screw that, I’m getting tired – have at it!

The midwife did another VE, tells me there’s a rim, pops my waters and I absolutely flooded the bed. Sudden unbearable urge to push, and I can’t be arsed to get up to change to a better position so I start pushing using the bed as brace. I can’t begin to tell you how much it hurts but the pushing was productive and I quickly feel his head born.

Just as I’m summoning the energy to push with the next contraction, the midwife shouts at me to LISTEN and STOP. The cord was wrapped very tightly round baby’s neck. All of a sudden things are happening… the cord is clamped and cut (there goes my plan to let it stop pulsating) I am pushing again, there’s a purple baby plonked on my chest and it’s a boy! Hands everywhere, warm towels being fetched, SoM is trying to get baby to cry. He makes a half-hearted whinge which isn’t good enough so he’s whisked away from me for oxygen & suction; Karl followed.

I vaguely remember at this point that the midwife assisted delivery of placenta, lost ~400ml blood, had the jab to help with reducing bleeding. It’s all a blur, all I can think is I want my bloody baby back. He was brought back in (gone for just a minute but felt like an hour) and I’m repeating I want my baby, give me my baby, give me my baby, give me my baby. He’s placed back on me, latch him on the breast, phew… calm.

I got my tea and toast this time, but was sick again. I didn’t have pethidine so it must either have been the blood loss or the synto-whatsit jab they use to reduce risk of PPH. I didn’t want it because I wasn’t sure if it made me sick last time, but the SoM wanted to cover her arse (I’d already broken the ‘rules’ by staying at the MLU) and I had already lost my physiological third stage anyway.

Anyway… all in I am quite pleased. I got the birth I wanted (mostly) and think the way I dealt with labour this time reflects my comfort with the surroundings. Baby Oliver is well, with no ill effects from the cord ‘incident’. He has a lip tie like his sister which is contributing to a poor latch and sore nipples, but we’re taking each day one at a time.

I Poke #breastfeeding Trolls

Yep, it’s my not-so-secret pastime. The equivalent of pounding on a stress ball when I’m in a shitty mood.

You see, when Isabel was much smaller I did some searching on twitter for “breastfeeding” in the hope that I’d find some fellow nursing mums to get support if I needed it. This worked well, and I added a few likeminded folk to my following list.

When @RainbowLights came out with her ignorant bullshit about public nursing, and I called her a twat, I suddenly gained a load of new momma followers who were nursing or had nursed their babies. It occurred to me that they probably found me because of my twitter response (in which I declared an unofficial breastfeeding day and tweeted non-stop about nursing, hehe)

Anyway… at some point in time negative breastfeeding tweets started creeping in. Grown men (and the occasional woman) shouting “omg some woman is feeding her baby in public!” … some creeps even going so far as taking pictures of it without permission; idiots spreading misinformation about routines and ‘the perfect diet’; marketing tweets about the products you MUST have to succeed at breastfeeding; etc etc.

When I noticed a couple of my momma followers responding to the trolls, I felt my heart skip a beat a little. It was like website drama only about boobs! Woohoo :) So I joined in. I correct misinformation. I challenge ignorant tossers to open their minds to why women are breastfeeding. I poke fun at women with their tits hanging out in their avatars who have the gall to mock nursing in public. I poke the trolls… and I like it.

Confirmed Twitter XSS Vulnerability

Just to confirm, my picture post guessing at a potential XSS vulnerability from over 3 hours ago proved itself to be exactly that.

The vulnerability is caused by URLs not being cleaned/escaped properly. By adding JavaScript to the end of a URL, you can effectively execute whatever you like as long as it’s within 140 chars (including pretty rainbow coloured tweets). Unfortunately, this is no limiter though; by calling upon the powers of JavaScript libraries you can reference external JS files that then cause more damage. Tweeting rainbows is harmless enough, but JavaScript is pretty powerful and can be used to obtain session tokens, follow people you don’t want to be following, send DMs and tweets, etc.

The safest thing to do at this point in time is to simply avoid the twitter.com website. Non-web/non-JavaScript clients are risk free, and may enable you to delete any RTs etc that you may have inadvertently spread. You can also use the Firefox NoScript extension to block twitter.com/twimg.com which is nice and safe, but basically breaks the twitter website.

You can now give me cookies for calling this first.

Kim Kardashian; Tits or GTFO

This is Kim Kardashian:

kim kardashian

She thinks breastfeeding in public is only OK if you use a cover1 2

Riiiiight.

Let’s just say I won’t be taking tips on modesty from her.

I Got Trolled

Once upon a time, if someone left a comment on one of my entries that made me suspicious, I had the time to look into it and figure out who the person was and where they were from. Of course, I don’t have that luxury these days, I have a daughter to look after. I don’t need to worry though, as trolls are stupid enough to out themselves (on a blog I read, no less!):

On another note of girls being stupid and ignorant, have you read Jem’s blog titled, “You’re a fucking twat.” It’s about Jennifer (@RainbowLights on twitter). Jennifer is against breastfeeding in public and Jem is for it. Jem is calling her a twat for being against it. That is rediculous. Jem is a freaking twat for thinking she is a ‘god’ for everything just cuz she is a bit older than everyone.

Hahahaha. I posted as ‘Sarah Jones’ on her comments. My first one is LONG and well written but my second one just failed. After my second one I didn’t even look at the reply until just a few minutes ago. It outrages me, so, i’m just going to ignore her. She is gay. I’m not even going to give her credit if I use any of her scripts. That is how much I hate her. You know I credit everyone, no matter what, I am a bit OCD about that but her, nu huh. I will NEVER credit her for ANYTHING. If she doesn’t like it, well, she can go screw herself.

Turns out ‘Sarah Jones’, the mother who leaves babies to cry because she can’t be arsed to feed them; who thinks carrots prevent cancer and that formula is the same as breast milk… is Erin. Erin, a 17 year old who can’t spell ridiculous. Erin, whose favourite Jonas Brother is Nick (who the fuck are the Jonas Brothers?) Erin, who thinks that by removing the credit link from her PR0 ‘ask me’ page (btw, that’s BellaBuzz, not BellaBuffs) I’m somehow going to be mortally wounded. Oh noes! Oh yes, you forgot one. Wait, wait… two. Oh, who’s keeping track here?

Erin really luuuurves some poor dude called Tyler. She loves him enough to (and I quote) “stalk” him on twitter“. You’d think him blocking her would be enough but no, “I still stalk him because his tweets are there for everyone to see.“.

Let’s hope he doesn’t hook up with her and have kids, because, despite the fake name she still thinks I’m spoiling my daughter:

erin-1.png erin-1.png erin-1.png erin-1.png

Yessirree, I’m spoiling my 7 month old daughter by feeding her when she’s hungry and not letting her cry herself to sleep. Man, I can see why Jinnienn wants to call social services on me; it’s so cruel of me to meet my daughter’s physical and emotional needs! Thanks for cluing me in there childcare expert Erin. Hold on, what qualifications in child psychology did you say you had again? Right… none. I thought so.

I digress… let’s get back on track here. This isn’t me, it’s about Erin. Did you know that Erin also makes/sells website designs? Yep, if you want badly cropped, oversaturated photos on your website, Erin is your girl. Check out them mad skillz!

Yes, the trolls are definitely getting more stupid. Do not feed the trolls… whoops?