Risk

A couple of weeks ago I watched a bloke put his daughter / granddaughter, who is the same age as Isabel, in the front passenger seat of his car & drive off. No booster seat, no car seat. I think he only put the seatbelt on her because I was staring in disbelief (he didn’t put his own on). Anyway, this got me thinking about risk, perceived risk, and why parents choose to take some risks whilst ignoring others.

I’m not completely risk-averse. I stick the kids in the garden while I nip in and out of the house to do chores. They could feasibly eat something unsavoury, sting themselves on nettles, fall down the stupid steps we have that separate our two lawns (this sounds more posh than it is). But I figure they could do all these things while I’m in the garden too.

The other day I went to put some washing in the machine which is in our lean-to utility, and when I came back I discovered Oliver halfway up the stairs. (We’ve reinstated the stairgate.)

But… I have car seats worth more than the car(s) they’re driven around in. I always walk down pavements with my children on the inside, away from the road. I still cut up grapes for Isabel, even though she’s 3 and a half and has been eating other whole foods since the day we started weaning. Breastfeeding, too, could be considered risk-reducing, although my motivation there is more laziness and freedom (from cost, ties to the supplies & clutter of bottlefeeding)

I don’t understand why some parents will spend £300+ on a special “anti-SIDs mattress” only to put baby in their own room; £130 on a special video monitor only to turn it off so baby’s noises don’t wake them; buy a huge Volvo to drive the kids around in but turn babies forward facing at the first opportunity. (These are just common examples, not thinking of any one person or people in particular…)

What if my kids ate something poisonous in the garden or if Oliver had fallen down the stairs? How do we choose which risks are the important ones? It’s all a bit odd really.

Posted on: May 7, 2013 · Category: Parenting 6

Funny

…how I spend most days with a million and one things to write about, and when I get 5 minutes to write them down my head empties and all I can think to write about is a single solitary “bugger.”

Posted on: May 3, 2013 · Category: Misc 1

One thing after another

I’m taking a moment to moan.

“What’s new?” I hear you cry!

I know, I know, so much for the ‘Acknowledge one positive from every day’ goal in 13 things for 2013 (and I still haven’t told you what I decided to do for #13!)

Must fix the tiny text on that post. And the tabindex thing, as that’s intensely irritating. Anyway, where was I…

I’m just under a wee bit of pressure at the minute. Turns out that trying to raise 2 children, start a new ‘business’ & trying to fit a full days work in to max 3hrs of an evening don’t actually go that well together. Even worse, when something goes tits up as has done day after day recently – teething, cold, teething, another cold, more teething (and that’s just Oliver, let’s not get into Izz & her colds, irregular withholding and now bloody conjunctivitis too) – that tight squeeze, that just-about-grasping-on-to-sanity thing comes crashing down around your ears and there’s bugger all you can do about it.

I am so grumpy lately. Proper shouty grumpy, saying things in front of the kids I wouldn’t normally, and probably shouldn’t be saying (may include words beginning with F). I’ve said things TO the kids I wouldn’t normally say (stop bloody whining, just go to frigging sleep, etc etc).

I should be working now, obviously, but if I don’t take 10 minutes to sit down and ramble tonight I think I may explode. That can’t be a good thing.

I’ve a couple of projects both several months behind, poorly kids, Karl going through a major upheaval at work, I go days without adult conversation, and I can’t switch off at night. It feels quite strange to be complaining about a situation that many wish to be in: too much work. 2 beautiful, amazing, funny children. A partner who is still here after all these bloody years (although after making ZERO effort on Mother’s Day, he’s lucky about that one).

I could take on less work, turn things down, pass things on, but that’s not going to pay my bills, is it?

Still, it could be worse. And I think I’ve learnt more in the past 9 months of self-employment than I did in nearly 10 years as an employee, so that’s nice. Or something.

I guess what I need to do now is find that mysterious work-life balance. What is that again?

Posted on: March 12, 2013 · Category: WTF 6

Free Our Kids project

I’ve been watching the Free Our Kids project with some interest over the past few weeks and my feelings are a mixture of ‘hoorah’ (for the effort) and a smug ‘so what?!’

I don’t mean to be smug, really. I am genuinely interested in what Harriet is trying to do, but overwhelmingly I feel like the whole thing is such a middle class problem to have (and I say this knowing that I creep ever closer to middle-class with my organic veg box and my barefoot shoes etc). When I was growing up we had mum-haircuts and 2nd, 3rd, 4th hand clothes because that’s all there was.

You didn’t get to choose between a labelled kids snack or a ‘proper’ grown up snack, you had to wait til mealtime and that was your lot. We didn’t have boxes and boxes of noisy toys and electronic gadgets, we had a bunch of formula scoops on a keyring and a saucepan + wooden spoon from the kitchen. Nobody was bored, nobody needed an iPad to learn to read, nobody starved because they didn’t have organic rice cakes to chew on.

So yes, hoorah to Harriet and her family. But some of us have been raising kids without spending unnecessary money for ages – welcome to our world ;)

(God I sound like my mother.)

Posted on: February 13, 2013 · Category: Interwebs, Parenting 12

Comfort Shopping

I realised yesterday that I’ve been comfort spending over the past few weeks.

It’s somewhat ironic that a shopping hater would reach out to shopping to fill a gap where my sanity once was, but I guess it’s easy to click your mouse button a few times when you compare it packing a toddler and baby into the car, driving to the shops, herding the toddler and baby into a shop, try and find what you want whilst preventing the toddler from getting sticky fingerprints on the shop goods, pick out the item and get it to the checkout to pay before the inevitable boredom tantrum sets in (toddler, not me ;D)

Except that it’s not all been online purchases anyway. Silly extra purchases at Tesco are adding up again; going in to buy a loaf of bread and spending just shy of £20, buying a box of chocolates “just because”, splurging on pizza because I can’t be bothered to cook. The budget is slipping.

I blame stress (saves me having to take responsibility, you see). Trying to juggle a little girl who’s suddenly realised that Oliver is here to stay and is regressing to babyhood: extra cuddles, wanting to sit in the highchair (we fished it out so that the novelty of it being there would wear off before it’s actually needed), wanting bottles and dummies despite never having had either (thanks, nursery); then there’s the increasing pressure to work & earn whilst juggling housework and a teething, grumpy baby; fast-approaching holiday requiring organisation and £££; lack of sleep… the list of excuses is endless.

I’ve mostly bought things that will actually be used, like more clothes for fat baby Oliver and a kettle that works and doesn’t take an hour or so to boil. But there’s also the extra nappies that weren’t really necessary, the ring sling that will get used but I could have lived without, the cute sleepsuits that were twice the price of a second hand bundle from ebay… you get the picture.

Still, Karl’s mum has paid for us all to go to Wales this weekend so it’ll be a good opportunity to have a break and get away from my screen. When I get back I need to sort through the various purchases and clutter, sell stuff off to get money coming back in, then it’s back to budgeting big time!

Posted on: October 18, 2012 · Category: Budgeting, Misc 3