jemjabella

Learning to Drive

Last week I decided that I would finally learn to drive. It's something I've avoided for years because I haven't been desperately in need of a car of my own. I catch buses, walk places, and if desperate my mum gives me lifts. Still, with Isabel now getting older and starting nursery in January (which makes me sad in the pants, but what can I do?) I need to be more independent.

So, I applied for my provisional licence and it arrived mid-week, complete with dodgy fat-faced photo from when I had my passport done at 17. I've spoken to a local guy (via e-mail) who does lessons and was supposed to call him today but forgot... err, must remember to sort that tomorrow.

Anyway, yes, 24 and I'm finally going to learn to drive. Woo, go me.

I Have Become a Mum

I know, you may find the title of this entry a tad obvious given that Isabel is 8 months old now (holy shit...) but I am just sat here evaluating my day and it occurred to me that I am a mum. I do mummy things. Today I went shopping for 'responsible' things and didn't get sidetracked by shiny crap I don't need. I changed nappies. I made salmon fishcakes from scratch. I made conversation with 2 total strangers. I got stared/giggled at by teenagers.

I think that last one was the key to my sudden revelation. I am no longer the carefree cocky starer, I am the older recipient of the disdain shown by "hip n trendy" emo types.

Fetch me my slippers and a paper, I'm officially old.

(I was feeding Izz in case you're wondering. Unless it was my hair they were staring at... thinking about it, I did have a pretty bad hair day.)

It's all too much

Juggling so much at the minute. Constantly teething baby (she's currently on her 4th tooth) coupled with crawling, dropping feeds and reverse cycling, plus she bit me for the first time last night :( / surprise visit from my Dad / work pressure (do I return or not? I have no choice, I can't afford not to) / websites... the q*bee, tutorialtastic still hasn't been sorted, new projects for myself and friends / money(!) my maternity pay runs out this month - I'll be getting £17 and that's it until I go back to work in November. Desperately trying to sell off old books etc so that I don't have to dip into my savings to cover the next few months.

So yeah, if I'm not posting a lot on twitter or whatever, it's 'cause I'm busy trying to extract my head from my arse :D

I Bought a Skirt

Anyone who knows me, or has been reading my blog a while, will know why the very act of buying a skirt has need of an entry of its own. To put it into perspective: the last time I wore a skirt for any significant period of time was the early 90s. So anyway, this is the skirt:

I want to wear it tomorrow so I had to shave my legs especially!

I know you wanted to know that.

I would like to thank...

A lady on babycentre started a thread for people she'd like to thank for helping her as a new parent, and I wanted to contribute... but also wanted the people I'm thanking to see it, so I thought I'd pop it here too :) So, I would like to thank...

My mum, for breastfeeding me and making it seem like The Only Way. For telling me how great I am doing all the time. For doing a 20 mile round trip every night for about 2 weeks after Izz was born just to bring me hot food so I wouldn't have to cook. For providing me with a cushion of my own to feed Izz with when I'm round her's. For rushing out at 11pm to buy artificial milk and bottles when the surgeon told me I'd have to stop breastfeeding, then not swearing at me when we rang back 15 mins later to tell her they'd arranged baby friendly antibiotics and that we would be able to continue on the boob after all. For not asking where the money was when we took the formula back and swapped it for nappies. For doing the 40 minute trip to the hospital when I had the gallstones removed in case Karl needed help with Izz. For not complaining when Izz slept for 4 hours on Karl, despite normally being a catnapper, leaving her sat waiting all that time. For being there any time, night or day.

Karl, for standing around for 10 hours while I was in labour rubbing my back, despite having Achilles tendon issues. For putting up with me post-birth when I was in pain because of the stiches, and Izz was feeding constantly (why did nobody warn me about growth spurts?) and all I could do was shout and moan. For respecting my wishes when I told him for the Nth time that I wouldn't be putting formula in my baby and I didn't need his help feeding her. For not complaining once that I brought Izz into our bed. For doing all those night nappies in the first couple of weeks. For taking me to the hospital, and being there every day to distract Izz so that I could rest. For not laughing at me when I cried (for hours) at the prospect of having to give up feeding Izz, and for supporting my decision to struggle through and get breastfeeding friendly drugs every step of the way. For roping in the lactation consultant so that I had support on side. For very quickly learning how to cook so that I could deal with Izz in the evenings, and for not bitching at the constant trips back and forth as I request salt, mayo, ooh a glass of orange if you don't mind, etc. For not running screaming because of our suddenly diminished sex life ;) For being open minded and receptive to breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby led weaning, babywearing etc... most of which is stuff he'd never heard of until the day I decided we were doing it. For cuddling Izz for 10 minutes when he gets in from work so I can have a hot cup of tea for the first time that day. For being there any time, night or day.

Christina, a local lady, for answering my e-mail pleas for help babywearing despite not having a clue as to who I was. For inviting me into her home, showing me how to use my ring sling effectively and lending me a stretchy wrap which has been invaluable since birth. For not pestering me about when she's getting said stretchy wrap back(!) and for being there for Karl while I was in hospital.

And last but not least, my midwife, for ensuring a safe delivery, not being offended that I swore at her, for stitching me up and more importantly: pointing me towards feeding lying down which has been the most useful tip I've had since Izz was born. It was the only way I could do it for the first week, and allows me to rest and feed every single night, allowing me to be refreshed and ready for the day each morning.

Apparently it takes a village to raise a child. I wouldn't disagree with that. Everyone has something to offer, even if their methods go against everything you believe in; it's this comparison that reinforces what you're doing is right.