Proper HTML Like Wot I Does

According to Millie, “Everyone needs to know the proper usage of basic HTML” and that includes <font face="tahoma"> and <your text here</u>. And don’t forget to customise your blockquote elements with the following snippet:

00px;
text-align: left;
border-top: 0px dotted #;
border-left: 2px solid #000000;
border-right: 0px solid #;
border-bottom: 0px solid #;
padding: 5px;
background-color: #ffffff;
}

If that doesn’t work for you, you can simply con your visitors into thinking you’re l33t by copying an old tutorialtastic tutorial and changing the wording to suit, redundant  s and all.

There you go kiddies, I hope you’ve learnt something today!

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 23rd, 2008 at 12:01 am and is filed in Coding, Funny.

36 Comments on “Proper HTML Like Wot I Does”

  1. Kristine says:

    Hah. Don’t you just love wannabes, teeny-bopping losers who provide horrific tutorials such as that?

    Response posted: March 22nd, 2008 at 10:08 pm
  2. TBQ says:

    At least she has a long list of people she credits… sans a few?

    Response posted: March 22nd, 2008 at 10:09 pm
  3. Rachael says:

    If you’re going to teach someone something, you should at least make sure you’re teaching them correctly.

    Response posted: March 22nd, 2008 at 10:35 pm
  4. Julie says:

    Oh thank you! I wanted to start coding me own site, I’m gonna need this. *bookmarks*

    Response posted: March 22nd, 2008 at 10:55 pm
  5. Vera says:

    Please do mention that you closed the sarcasm tag, lest some hapless n00b will think this is genuine. How do you find these people?!

    Response posted: March 22nd, 2008 at 11:02 pm
  6. Lene says:

    @ Vera: I think Jem has a radar that detects horrible code and e-thieves :P Her other tutorials are just as lulzy, I was going to check them all out but my eyes were in pain.

    Response posted: March 22nd, 2008 at 11:49 pm
  7. Sarah says:

    Ick, her website is awful. She really has no idea what she’s doing.

    Response posted: March 22nd, 2008 at 11:58 pm
  8. Amelie says:

    In her defence, she did stop redistributing PAI when I told her to.

    Response posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 12:10 am
  9. Shannon says:

    PROPAH YU-SAGE. I really need to properly use my HTML. I’ve never prided myself on understanding programming like this, like how to get text underlined. Oh, dear.

    Response posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 12:14 am
  10. Julie says:

    Oh, she’s a friend of Emily, apparently.

    Response posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 12:26 am
  11. Jenny says:

    00px? Just … 00px? Come on. :(

    Response posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 1:53 am
  12. Aaron says:

    *stares* Hmm, well, once I resize her text so I can read, I should get on with doing a complete overhaul of my website. I suppose I should throw this CSS out the window and crack out those good ol’ font tags! This made me laugh, which brightened up a rather dull day.

    Response posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 3:22 am
  13. Nyx says:

    … would that CSS even WORK?

    Response posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 3:29 am
  14. Stephanie says:

    *snortOL*

    Response posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 3:30 am
  15. Ilona says:

    What’s with the close link on the header image, huh? I can’t read her white text and links on the sidebar. Oh, and in [i]her[/i] tutorial to convert HTML to PHP, she thanks Emily of pixelfx.org! Figures. There’s also this as a closing of the tutorial.. [quote]Everyone should [b]back up thier files[/b][/quote]

    Response posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 3:59 am
  16. Mackenzie says:

    Apparently she’s blown out 16 candles, so she’s… 7 decimal something years old? It’s such a dumb trend I’ve noticed. If she’s 16, then she’s blown out 1+2+3+4+5+6, etc. candles (136 total xD)

    Response posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 4:33 am
  17. Vera says:

    Mackenzie: not necessarily. Maybe she didn’t blow out candles on all her birthdays :P

    Response posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 6:13 am
  18. Rachel says:

    Should I be worried that she actually wiki-linked ENGLAND? Wow…wow. Ahh, Jem. I do admire your ability to keep a cool head through all the thieves. At one of my sites, I catch them rarely and I get irritated.

    Response posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 7:06 am
  19. Daniela says:

    Apart from distributing other peoples scripts (Dodos Mail, PHPAskIt) and stating Some I’ve had for quite sometime so I don’t have anyone to credit, if it belongs to you please email. for the downloads section, she supposingly does not know anything about correct HTML. Does that qualify her for the Pants Award? :-)

    Response posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 9:05 am
  20. Daniela says:

    Ooops, part of my comment was actually a quote from her site: [quote]Some I’ve had for quite sometime so I don’t have anyone to credit, if it belongs to you please email.[/quote] Credits expires, according to her ;-)

    Response posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 9:08 am
  21. Aimee says:

    Wow. People never cease to amaze - disappoint? disgust? - me.

    Response posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 9:49 am
  22. Baohan says:

    I felt funny. I actually thought that her site looked nice from my first sight but now it’s hilarious. That CSS and

    Response posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 1:41 pm
  23. Xuan says:

    I LOLed. Now I’m feeling kind of nauseous… But GOD, that site really is awful.

    Response posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 1:53 pm
  24. Ann says:

    LOL. Aparrently we’re “talking trash about her site”, according to her latest comment. So criticism = trash now? Nice.

    Response posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 2:46 pm
  25. Maryann says:

    I can’t stand that site.

    Response posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 2:55 pm
  26. Annie says:

    LOL. I’m glad I always stuck to Lissa Explains to learn things rather than venturing onto these teenybopper sites.

    Response posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 3:04 pm
  27. Robmarie says:

    Ph33r her HTML skillz, y0! But at least she closed her “img src” tags with a slash, right? :P

    Response posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 8:45 pm
  28. Lil says:

    The girl’s practically the fountain of freaking knowledge. I want to build a website solely based on her wise words.

    Response posted: March 24th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
  29. Rammi says:

    This is just what I needed to give me a kick up the butt to revamp my website… Note to self: Excessively small, unreadable text does not make a website any better…

    Response posted: March 24th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
  30. Zatanna says:

    The only thing I liked about her site was her banner, until I read her ‘past layouts’ page and saw that it was created by someone else (on deviantart). I doubt she asked for permission, it doesn’t say she did.

    Response posted: March 24th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
  31. Melissa says:

    Omg, thx Jem 4 teh tipz!!!1!one!! No really, I’m totally using that blockquote snippet. >.>

    Response posted: March 24th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
  32. Mike Haddad says:

    That hurt me, so bad.

    Response posted: March 25th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
  33. Jem says:

    [quote] I can’t stand that site.[/quote] @Maryann: your tutorials are just as shit.

    Response posted: March 25th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
  34. Christine says:

    I like to envision Jem like this giant beautiful Spider Queen lady surrounded by crystals and gems and sparkly stuff w/ this vast network of shimmery webs and what not that extend through out the interweb and reverberate information back to her… it makes a pretty picture in my head XD

    Response posted: March 26th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
  35. vic says:

    what????? wooosh

    Response posted: March 27th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
  36. Niki says:

    [quote] I like to envision Jem like this giant beautiful Spider Queen lady[/quote] *obnoxious* Is she wearing clothes? Millie can be her dragonfly slave. And we’ll all be her happy spider minions.

    Response posted: March 29th, 2008 at 4:09 am

Leave a Reply

I'm not interested in viagra or penis enhancers, first-time commenters are moderated and anonymous comments are deleted. Don't waste my time, or yours.