Jun4, 2010

I'm Concerned

Indeed... concerned that here in the UK we consider someone aged 16 old enough to have sex and, with that, cope with the consequences of this action (the possibility of producing offspring; having to raise new life) yet do not consider someone aged 17 responsible for their opinions. It scares me that we consider sex less worthy of responsibility than shooting your mouth off.

I've been blogging since I was 14, and while I no longer have those early entries I know as fact that on the rare (hah) occasion I made an arse of myself, I made sure to make amends. Calling someone sick, a bitch, disgusting, and making libelous claims of harassment to that person's website host AFTER the fact are not making amends, rather, adding fuel to the fire, don't you think?

Nonetheless, as with most drama, it quickly runs its course. And here we are... here I am with new subscribers, new twitter followers and most importantly, a new comments policy to help me cover my arse and you cover yours.

Tagged and .

Jun3, 2010

You Are a Fucking Twat

Yes, you. Firstly, for this:

I think woman who breastfeed in public is nasty! Go home or use the bathroom or something!!

...and then for the "I Don't Support Breast Feeding in Public" Facebook group.

But, let's assume for one second that you're simply an ill-educated fool who doesn't have a clue about babies feeding, and break down every single word of your stupid Facebook group to give you a little education:

I am not a mother myself and I was breast fed as a child. In public though I was given a bottle. I had a bottle since day one. I simply switched back and forth between breast feeding and a bottle.

Well done. Your mother risked nipple confusion because she was a prude. Nipple confusion, caused by the totally different suckling method between bottles and the breast, that can cause a baby to totally reject the breast. And what happens if she rejects the breast? No more breast milk. Yay, score one to the formula companies!

I do not believe I should have to watch other woman breast feed.

I do not believe I should have to watch fat people jiggle their bellies out of the top of their tight-fitting clothes. I do not believe I should have to watch teenagers chewing gum like cows chew cud. I do not believe I should have to watch couples sticking their tongues down each other's throats. But they do, and I live with it, because it's none of my fucking business. It doesn't harm me, therefore I "live and let live".

There are private lounges, bathrooms, and other private area where you can go if you have to breast feed.

Some places have private facilities where breastfeeding can be done. Some of these places are too hot, too cold, too smelly, too uncomfortable for me to even consider going in them. I don't see why any breastfeeding mother should have to put up with that for the sake of one or two prudes.

As for bathrooms - do you eat in the bathroom? Do you consume food in a room where bacteria lingers for hours on every surface after a toilet is flushed? "If you flush with the lid up, a polluted plume of bacteria and water vapour erupts out of the flushing toilet bowl. The polluted water particles float for a few hours around your bathroom before they all land."

Otherwise I feel you can give them a bottle. [..] If the child is fussy or hungry enough it will take the bottle or give it a pacifier.

And what if the child will take neither a bottle or a pacifier? My daughter does not know HOW to drink out of a bottle. She has no need to, therefore has never learned. If you place a bottle in her mouth, she sticks her tongue out and tries to make a back-forth motion with her tongue as she would to remove milk from the breast. This achieves nothing with a bottle, and would serve to frustrate her further if she was "fussy or hungry enough". Likewise, she will not take a dummy/pacifier, and it's easy to see why.

Let's suppose, though, that Isabel is unique. That she's the only baby in the world that cannot drink from a man-made nipple on a man-made bottle. What are all of these babies who're out in public going to drink? Breastmilk? Not all mothers can express milk. It's hard work. Imagine having your breast placed inside a hard plastic funnel, and your nipple tugged at unforgivingly by a stream of air powerful enough to pull your eyeball out. Yeah, I'm going to sit there and do that every time I need to nip to the shop just in case Isabel needs a feed... not. Of course, there's an alternative, formula! Except that it's inadequate and unnecessary when there are large milky breasts just waiting to be emptied.

The child will not starve to death in a few short hours.

A newborn infant has a stomach roughly the size of a marble/walnut (little people, little bellies). Furthermore, breast milk is digested rapidly; more quickly than artificial milk. It takes roughly 20 minutes for a baby to make use of that lovely, healthy milk. It makes sense, therefore, that it would require frequent small filings to keep a baby from going hungry. As the baby grows so does the stomach, but this is a slow process, and infants are designed to graze at the breast constantly (much like adults graze on snack food constantly, but we don't expect them to eat in a bathroom).

It's only in the West that we try and push a baby to go hours between feedings. No, a child will not starve to death in a "few short hours", but a child does not know the meaning of "few short hours" and a baby that is hungry enough to cry for food needs it there and then, not in 3 hours time. Or would you rather listen to a hungry baby crying, wailing pitifully because its only source of nutrition is gone?

Anyone who says yes to that has clearly never heard a baby crying for food.

I don't think I should have to watch you breast feed in front of me.

So turn around?

Breast feeding may be natural, but so is peeing and so is sex.

Have you ever tried to make an infant hold in their pee? It's like asking them to wait for milk. It's impossible. They have the need and the desire to urinate (or drink) now now now. They are not adults. Applying adult logic such as "suck it up, I'm to prude to watch you pee!" to a baby or a small child is just as stupid as "suck it up, I'm too prude to watch you eat!" hence why babies have diapers (nappies). So, while you can hold your full bladder, or your empty stomach for "a few short hours", a baby cannot hold it for that long.

And if you can't wait until you get home to have sex? See a doctor.

My baby's needs are more important to me than your stupid, immature objections to a woman breastfeeding. If you don't like it, look away.

May30, 2010

That's Baroness to you, Sir!

I recently bought some boots from Barratts to give myself more ankle support when I'm carrying Isabel (I walk for miles, and my trainers/sneakers weren't doing the job). When checking out, I was asked to register, and the title field had a list a mile long with every possible title you can think of (pro-tip: just provide an empty input field).

So anyway, I turned to Karl and said "what do you reckon I should sign up as?" and he jokingly replied "Baroness". And so I did.

Friday last week, a guy turns up at the door with a parcel, eyes his PDA delivery thing (those stupid computery things you have to 'sign' these days), looks at me funny, hesitates, looks back at his PDA and then says "errr... Turner?". "Yes". And then he hands over the parcel, followed by the stupid computery thing for me to sign. I look at the screen and only then realise why he's looking a bit weird at me. Across the top of the screen:

BARONESS JEM TURNER

I've never found it so hard not to laugh in my entire life.

Tagged and .

May28, 2010

Sneaky Tactics: Making Adverts Look Like the Browser Part 2

In 2008 I blogged about a site displaying adverts disguised as browser-style yellow bars and the risks associated with this shady tactic (especially if something a little more sinister than an advert were linked!)

Clearly nothing has changed in the past 2 years, because it's still happening.

I clicked through to an article in The Independent whilst using Google Chrome and saw:

independent.png

Note the almost convincing Chrome-alike yellow notice bar across the top? It beggars belief that a respectable UK newspaper would use this sort of sneakery to push their new browser extension, especially as they've hijacked the Chrome icons to make it all the more convincing.

When did it become OK to prey on the ignorance of users?

May24, 2010

A Furry Intruder

Oh, hello... :D

ginger kitty

Welcome our newest addition; you may recognise her. Fudge is currently hiding from her, and Hex is doing his best "I'm a big scary boss cat" routine complete with growls and hisses. Isabel is absolutely fascinated by her, and the kitten likewise.

She's not named yet, so feel free to make suggestions.

Tagged , and .

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