I bloody hate it when...
...all I can think to write about is a load of whingy bollocks. And, I also hate it when:
- I (unintentionally) bite the inside of my cheek four times in a row, causing my mouth to swell and bleed, making chewing impossible.
- People talk about me in "private" forums (what's particularly amusing though, is that there are far too many people out there watching my back who report to me everything that's said.)
- I feel unmotivated and lacking enthusiasm in re-doing my CMS although I want to do it more than I want to write anything else.
- People re-send me the same e-mail 3 times over a period of a week because they think it'll make me reply faster. No, it just makes me want to reply with "justfuckinggoogleit.com" you impatient gits.
- I go shopping on a Saturday and by Monday have bugger all in the fridge to eat.
- I need to go all the way out to the car, because we didn't bring the lemonade up over the weekend.
- I have loads of ideas and suggestions for topics to write on but can't be arsed to even look at them, let alone construct a valid sentence. Meh.
- Edit: When people turn my comments section into a forum for their own amusement!
- Edit (28th/Feb): When people expect me to create them a fully valid, fluid and accessible 3-column CSS layout for nowt more than $5. Cheeky gits. Add a couple of noughts to that figure and you might have a deal.
Oh, and if any of you are interested in my documenting the process of re-writing my CMS, do let me know. I can't promise it will be entertaining but if enough of you are interested I'll do it anyway. You never know, you might even learn something (or better yet, teach me something I don't know.)
PS. I have a new geek t-shirt. :9 I am thinking of buying shares in a t-shirt factory.
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 20:34, Josh(ua/y) said:
I bloody hate it when I log on to my computer and the internet and WHAM in the LiveBookmark sits a new entry all gleaming and I've got an oppurtunity to make the first comment... yay... but I waste time by pausing to fire up the windows messanger and delete my many morsels of spam (thankfully I'm an idiot so nobody bothers to ask me stuff - [quote]People re-send me the same e-mail 3 times over a period of a week because they think it'll make me reply faster[/quote]. Bah, I can't type anything that makes any sense remotely. THAT's what gets one pissed off. Oh what a waste of a comment.......
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 20:36, Jem said:
I have no idea what you're on about, but you made me laugh so it's all good
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 20:36, Grant Mc said:
Hi jem i would love to document you CMS re-design/development, drop me an email or something, thanks. P.S. love the t-shirt
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 20:44, McGrant said:
ZOMG I love the tshirt too but you know what - it would look so much better on my bedroom floor
mmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmm
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 20:51, Grant Mc said:
i just re-read the post and mis-understood it i would love to read your documenting of the cms re-write!
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 20:52, Amelie said:
No point, my CMS is far better than your silly one
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 21:05, Jem said:
[quote]No point, my CMS is far better than your silly one
[/quote] At least my comments match the posts they're intended for. 
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 21:09, Amelie said:
^ So do mine (now)! I worked out that WP must have messed up my comments before I imported them to my CMS - I checked the WP backups and the post/comment things were all messed up in there as well
No idea why that happened, but then WP is silly 
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 21:47, Grant Mc said:
wordpress is not silly it is great if you met the guy who made it you would be amazed and if you got to pick his brains then you would finshed out how great it is. i would love you to make a CMS that could match WP! Oh yeah and your website is BLAH!
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 21:50, Banshee said:
Hmm.. I'd be interested in your documenting your CMS. I learn best by example (possibly why your PHP tutorials are so easy to understand!) and you doing this would be fantastic!
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 21:54, Grant Mc said:
I would love to see how you make this site, it probably the longest ever website that i have followed, i also look at Jem as a role model i would love to follow in you're footsteps, so seeing this would give me an insight to the way you look at coding and from someones code you can tell what kind of person they are, in my opinion.
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 21:55, Karl said:
I think the "silly" was sarcasm. Main Entry: sar·casm Pronunciation: 'sär-"ka-z&m Function: noun 1 : a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain 2 a : a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual b : the use or language of sarcasm synonym see WIT And, have you met the WP guy? I bet you haven't. I haven't met the Vista programmers, yet I can happily state their TV support in Vista sucks donkey..:) You should meet Amelie...you'd be amazed at her sheer geekiness.
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 21:55, McGrant said:
wp is the bestest code ever I wish I could write php like that
oh but jem obviously your code is far superior I want to have it's babies
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 21:57, Amelie said:
@Grant: My website is blah is it? Oh dear, I'd better delete it then
I will never come here again, sorry Jem for bothering you with my comments I didn't realise I wasn't welcome here 
I will go and get rid of my site now 
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 21:57, Karl said:
Jem as a role model? You want BREASTS? Ok then... Actually, no chance..them are mine..;) Grow yer own..;)
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 22:00, Grant Mc said:
@Kar i have actually he is a 20 something guy who is calm and understanding, he was at a show i was at last year! He is very opinionated and cheerful. As for the vista programmers i cant say i have either
Also "McGrant" is that your handle or have you reversed my name as a random thing?
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 22:01, McGrant said:
no it's my name... are we related? do I know you?
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 22:01, Grant Mc said:
Grow my own, can't say i am that sad to think about things like that. Weird world you must live in!
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 22:04, Grant Mc said:
cool my real name is Grant McAllister i dont know are we related?
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 22:06, Amelie said:
@Grant: Give me time, I can't delete everything right this second ok?
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 22:08, Jem said:
Amelie, stop spamming my comments FFS!! Stop winding Grant up.
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 22:08, Karl said:
Weird? No! I.T...all that silicon..mmm...I'm very calm and understanding as well, as it happens. Unless i'm installing Vista and it's playing stupid buggers. Like now. You'll grow your own boobs by the age of 30ish..most men do..:) Oh hell. I'm 29. WP is OK. I favour Mambo/Joomla as an educational thing though. To quote the kids at work when I showed them the student support WP based site..."Eww..that's GAY..". My site is WP based..but then it does what I want. I could ask Jem to do me another, but..we're too busy.
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 22:10, Rachael said:
I always accidentally eat the inside of my cheek! It's really annoying. It's like I have this subconscious urge to chew through my own face...
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 22:11, Amelie said:
@Grant: Ok, done.
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 22:11, Grant Mc said:
fair point Karl, maybe you should join a jym might delay the whole male breast process lol!
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 22:12, McGrant said:
oh wow that's so strange because my name is Alistair McGrant! I live in america and me and jem are going to elope and get married one day
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 22:14, Karl said:
Hah, no. I'm bony naturally. No boobs on me. That's what happens when i'm carrying broken PCs around all day and throwing Jem over my shoulder. I might just get a bike though.
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 22:16, Katy said:
[quote]When people turn my comments section into a forum for their own amusement![/quote] Liar.
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 22:17, Jem said:
Go fuck a duck
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 22:22, Hillarie said:
Wow. I'd join in, but I'm too exhausted.
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 22:25, Grant Mc said:
cool Karl seems to be a fireman rescuing jem in the bedroom and jem is a poet!
On Mon 26th Feb 2007 @ 23:56, Stephanie said:
...I would comment, but I really don't follow this entire 'thing' that's going on here. So I leave it at: I bet my life sucks harder than your life does!!!
On Tue 27th Feb 2007 @ 00:26, Steven said:
I hate it when I right absolutely perfect code and it doesn't work. Yeah. I also chew through my face. I once broke through my cheek. There was a HOLE there. Pretty cool but hurt like frick.
On Tue 27th Feb 2007 @ 00:27, Rosemarie said:
I just have to leave a "wtf" note in regards to Steven's comment. I can only assume that he's not serious.
On Tue 27th Feb 2007 @ 00:50, Mary said:
@Rose: I hope so too. Jem, your geek T-shirts make me drool with envy
I'd love to see you document re-writing your CMS - I've always wondered how people do it. Hopefully I'll get the motivation to buy a PHP book and maybe in a year write my own scripts.
On Tue 27th Feb 2007 @ 01:08, Mumblies said:
Biting the inside of one's mouth-Stop doing it, then it wont hurt People talking about you behind your back-Do you really care? Unmotivated and lacking enthusiasm-Surely everybody deserves to be lazy sometime? People sending the same email over and over-Don't you just love that "delete" button? Never any food in the fridge-Sellotape Karl to the sette then he can't scoff it all Lemonade trip-Window/rope/bucket-saves lugging it all up the stairs Ideas and suggestions for topics-Why bother? Play Animal Crossing instead It's more fun Karl with man-boobs? ROFL can't see it somehow, seen more meat on a butcher's pencil. Karl throwing you over his shoulder? On his diet? Another T shirt? you are addicted Jem lol Hope you cheer up soon though, don't like to see you miserable
On Tue 27th Feb 2007 @ 01:39, Melissa said:
O.o ... I am...speechless... Jem, I think your comment section deserves a fanlisting...
On Tue 27th Feb 2007 @ 02:33, Sara said:
When you say go f*** a duck, what would the children turn out like!? haha just kidding!
Oh, by the way, my real point for posting this was to ask if what you posted was more less a warning to everyone comming to your site, and to ask if those are your largest pet peeves. ?
On Tue 27th Feb 2007 @ 02:37, Sara said:
When you say go f*** a duck, what would the children turn out like!? haha just kidding!
Oh, by the way, my real point for posting this was to ask if what you posted was more less a warning to everyone comming to your site, and to ask if those are your largest pet peeves. ?
On Tue 27th Feb 2007 @ 03:01, Stephanie said:
Sweet new T-shirt! And investing in a T-shirt factory may not be a bad idea. The profit margins on clothing are usually huge! All of those things are super annoying. Good luck dealing with them, 'cause they're not gonna stop anytime soon.
On Tue 27th Feb 2007 @ 03:07, Jordan said:
Jem, now you'll get searches for "duck fucking," since you posted that "fuck a duck" reply, and great, now for my new duck fucking keywords. duck fucking galore!
On Tue 27th Feb 2007 @ 09:40, Han said:
"I go shopping on a Saturday and by Monday have bugger all in the fridge to eat." YES omg its so true!!! your tshirts rule! I want one that says "no, I will not fix your computer" lol
I'd be interested to see how you go about upgrading your script! I've decided I'm going to have a go at some PHP....when I find the time!
On Tue 27th Feb 2007 @ 13:08, Carly said:
I can't wait to hear about your serch logs sometime soon... "fuck a duck" and "man boobs" strange!!
On Tue 27th Feb 2007 @ 13:30, Mae said:
oh jem please do write how you were able to come up with your CMS
hehe
On Tue 27th Feb 2007 @ 18:52, Chrissy said:
That shirt made me giggle.
On Tue 27th Feb 2007 @ 20:12, Adastra said:
I'd definitely be interested in you commeting on re-writing your CMS!
On Tue 27th Feb 2007 @ 20:33, Josh(ua/y) said:
You commenting on making the CMS, jem - spiffing. I have not yet any knowlege of PHP so "going in at the deep end" metaphorically, by reading whatever is documented, would be a real humdinger of an activity.
On Tue 27th Feb 2007 @ 20:38, Malin said:
Damn, you're like a celeb since they talk about you in private forums, hehe
On Wed 28th Feb 2007 @ 14:04, Ian said:
I have a potentially dumb question: Which one is the new geek t-shirt? I dont remember which ones you had before (even tho ive visited that page like a million times). Is it the User Error one?
On Wed 28th Feb 2007 @ 14:13, Jem said:
@Ian: "Geeks are for life, Not just for computer breakdowns"
On Wed 28th Feb 2007 @ 17:22, Grant Mc said:
would you ever release your cms?
On Wed 28th Feb 2007 @ 17:24, Jem said:
[quote] would you ever release your cms?[/quote] .. no.
On Wed 28th Feb 2007 @ 21:39, Grant Mc said:
Jem you need to update your past layout just been having a wee look through very nice what age did you make that first site?
On Wed 28th Feb 2007 @ 22:54, McGrant said:
yeah jem you should update the layouts page so it's easier for other people to steal big chunks of your layout and text and stuff
On Thu 1st Mar 2007 @ 00:07, Kathleen said:
@Grant Mc and McGrant: Have you ever heard of periods? Or a new grammatical invention called sentences? They are quite useful, rather than your mush of words that are not capitalized or anything of that sort.
On Thu 1st Mar 2007 @ 00:17, Katy said:
periods are what women get every month. that little dot is called a full stop
On Thu 1st Mar 2007 @ 18:11, Grant Mc said:
@ Kathleen - i thought the same as Katy zlso i knew what you meant to say, haven't you ever heard or a 15 typing on a keyboard trying to keep it quick!
On Thu 1st Mar 2007 @ 18:13, Grant Mc said:
@Mcgrant - WTF, if you looked at jems past layout page you would see its a gallery with NO CODE to steal fool
On Fri 2nd Mar 2007 @ 00:31, Kathleen said:
@Katy: In the United States, we call them periods, not full stops.
Just a bit of cultural education for you.
On Fri 2nd Mar 2007 @ 20:03, Katy said:
yes, I am fully aware of that thank you...