I’m taking a moment to moan.

“What’s new?” I hear you cry!

I know, I know, so much for the ‘Acknowledge one positive from every day’ goal in 13 things for 2013 (and I still haven’t told you what I decided to do for #13!)

Must fix the tiny text on that post. And the tabindex thing, as that’s intensely irritating. Anyway, where was I…

I’m just under a wee bit of pressure at the minute. Turns out that trying to raise 2 children, start a new ‘business’ & trying to fit a full days work in to max 3hrs of an evening don’t actually go that well together. Even worse, when something goes tits up as has done day after day recently – teething, cold, teething, another cold, more teething (and that’s just Oliver, let’s not get into Izz & her colds, irregular withholding and now bloody conjunctivitis too) – that tight squeeze, that just-about-grasping-on-to-sanity thing comes crashing down around your ears and there’s bugger all you can do about it.

I am so grumpy lately. Proper shouty grumpy, saying things in front of the kids I wouldn’t normally, and probably shouldn’t be saying (may include words beginning with F). I’ve said things TO the kids I wouldn’t normally say (stop bloody whining, just go to frigging sleep, etc etc).

I should be working now, obviously, but if I don’t take 10 minutes to sit down and ramble tonight I think I may explode. That can’t be a good thing.

I’ve a couple of projects both several months behind, poorly kids, Karl going through a major upheaval at work, I go days without adult conversation, and I can’t switch off at night. It feels quite strange to be complaining about a situation that many wish to be in: too much work. 2 beautiful, amazing, funny children. A partner who is still here after all these bloody years (although after making ZERO effort on Mother’s Day, he’s lucky about that one).

I could take on less work, turn things down, pass things on, but that’s not going to pay my bills, is it?

Still, it could be worse. And I think I’ve learnt more in the past 9 months of self-employment than I did in nearly 10 years as an employee, so that’s nice. Or something.

I guess what I need to do now is find that mysterious work-life balance. What is that again?