The Pants Awards

The Pants Awards were satirical (and snarky) 'awards' I gave to bloggers and webmasters between 2006-2011, typically because they gave out bad code advice that was dangerous to fellow webmasters. The vast majority of the recipients were not happy about receiving a Pants Award but most have since admitted that they needed it.

In hindsight, a 'carrot' rather than 'stick' approach probably would have worked better.


Pants: Inked By Erin

To help soothe the disappointment of my lost Pantsing opportunity, I went to rev.iew.me and did eenie meenie on the websites page. Lo, my cursor fell on Inked By Erin, which is quite a nice coincidence given our history. Fancy that. Erin is currently sporting a layout with some chick I recognise from Alice in […]

Pants: i D A R R Y L’ [d0t] NET

I received an e-mail just after New Year, nominating today’s Pants Award recipient. I still haven’t decided what I’m actually going to do with the Pants series, so I was tempted to just delete the e-mail… and then I opened the website. i D A R R Y L’ [d0t] NET is… startling. I mean, […]

Pants: Digital Sugar Designs

When you tell the world that you have “7 years of experience in the field“, it helps if you show that so-called experience off. And no, blurring a few dodgy photographs so that the subject looks like they’re being melted under a 500W halogen lamp does not count as experience in the field. Only in […]

Pants: Ticking Timebomb

I was hoping that I could start this Pants Award with my very own review from Ticking Timebomb. It’s one of those tweeny review sites that pop-up from time to time, but ultimately disappear because the standard of reviewing is piss poor and nobody actually reads them [the reviews]. Unfortunately, she refused to review me […]

Pants: Killinginthename.com

Warning: Killinginthename is infected with a Trojan. Please ensure your virus software is up to date if you choose to visit that website. Note that the trojan seems to be referenced via JavaScript, therefore any NoScript Firefox extension users can safely browse the site. It’s been a while since I’ve done a review or proper […]

Pants: so-juicy.net

It is almost predictable that I’d give my next Pants Award to Lana of so-juicy.net. I’d already briefly touched upon the fact that she is redistributing my skinning code from tutorialtastic without permission (that means stealing, boys and girls) except with all the stuff going on at the moment I didn’t have time to follow […]

Pants: FARK OATH . COM

I almost feel like this entry should be extra special as it’s my 10th Pants Award, but as I’m too cold to surf I’m settling for mediocrity. FARK OATH . COM was mentioned to me because of Waks Ask & Answer. You know it by now, the terminally shite ask and answer script that I’m […]

Pants: candi-coded.com

It wasn’t the particularly crappy layout, the mismatched colour scheme or the tiny text that convinced me to give “c a n d i – c o d e d [ dot ] c o m” a Pants Award. It wasn’t even the teeny-bopper cliché spaces in the title. No, it was the ‘four reasons […]

Pants: contagious.nu

Note: contagious.nu has since changed ownership. The content of this post is in no way aimed at the new owner, Dan. The post will remain live purely to avoid a broken link. The biggest problem with acting like a wanker on the Internet is that there’s always a bigger wanker (me) out there prepared to […]

Pants: Funky-Chickens.com

It’s never occurred to me that people actually use Funky Chickens as a valid resource for learning HTML. In fact, even after it was nominated for one of my infamous reviews (on several occasions) it wasn’t until I saw it linked alongside tutorialtastic as a valid place to learn code that I thought .. “eh? […]

Pants: swimchick.net

In a way, I feel sorry for the owner of swimchick.net (“Jessica”). Of all the “crap site” nominations I receive, swimchick tops the list. It is also one of the most searched for terms by people looking through my reviews/previous pants awards. In fact, feedback on swimchick is so much in demand I feel I’m […]

Pants: OUTSPOKEN-kate.com

OUTSPOKEN-kate.com is a typical teenage personal website. Small text — barely different in colour from the background, mangled iframes given extreme heights to try and prevent extra scrollbars, indistinguishable links and the insane assumption that being able to scrape together a website gives you the right and/or ability to publish shitty tutorials. Before we even […]