Category: Personal

Read about my battles with Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), my mental health, surviving both childhood sexual abuse and a 12 year relationship plagued with emotional abuse, as well personal projects / challenges, and anything vaguely Jem-related.

Is this adulthood?

I realised today that it’s been nearly a year since my last blog post of note. Teenage Jem would be ashamed, adult Jem is wondering how the fuck a year passed in the blink of an eye. Get up, walk the dog, breakfast, school run, work work work, school run, cook, clean, walk the dog, […]

On the life-changing nature of diagnosis

It’s hard to know where to start this post. Do I start it as a child where I knew I wasn’t quite the same as my peers? Do I start it as a new parent where things suddenly started to become apparent that I’d not noticed before? Do I start it at the point where […]

A look back at 2020

I know it’s customary to write up ‘year in review’ style posts at the end of the actual year in question, but I think I’m only just getting over 2020 enough to write about it. How do you put into perspective a year that has simultaneously seen the lows of a loss of a parent, […]

Tales from Lockdown: Part 3

After my last lockdown post the Easter holidays drew to a close and we settled back into the homeschool routine. However, the kids seemed to be finding it more difficult to concentrate, and I was more shouty as a consequence. It didn’t feel like we were getting much done, and although I don’t normally do […]

Tales from Lockdown: Part 2

As I head into week 5 of my personal covid-19 lockdown experience, I am increasingly finding the days are blurring together. My mental health is up and down, although my hormones are partly to blame this week. Since my last post on lockdown, the kids have moved into official Easter Holidays territory. Normally this would […]

Tales from Lockdown

Due to the ongoing coronavirus / COVID19 crisis, we’ve now been isolating (“social distancing” on crack) for two weeks. Slightly longer than Joe Public because my ex is high risk and we wanted to reduce the risk of the kids passing anything on. After the initial week where negative thoughts and an absence of a) […]

2018: The Year It All Clicked

I don’t think it’s possible to have a perfect year. 12 months / 52 weeks / 365 days: all too big a time-span to guarantee 100% wellness and positivity every hour of every day. Nonetheless? 2018 has been “my” year. I’ve not avoided conflict and drama. People close to me have still suffered pain, been […]

I chose to drink. It was rubbish.

(I originally posted this on reddit, but want it recording here as part of my journey.) I had a drink on Saturday night. I made the active choice to have a drink, rather than caving to cravings or anything like that; it was one of my best friend’s pre-wedding celebrations and as I can’t/won’t drink […]

My PMDD is Under Control

For the uninitiated and new readers amongst you, PMDD is an extreme version of PMS/PMT. It can cause cyclical feelings of anxiety, depression, anger and even suicidal thoughts, as well as the physical symptoms typically associated with the menstrual cycle. It’s been over a year since I last talked about my PMDD. When I lost […]

Reflecting on a Rollercoaster Year

I can’t really think of any other way of describing 2017? Starting the year with a massive unexpected tax bill (sound familiar?) was an uphill battle – a chain lift, dragging the rollercoaster car to the top of steep hill – following by rocketing at speed towards lows like the loss of yet more pets […]