Only I’m Allowed To Direct-Link, Foo’

When you’re ordering people to follow these badly written rules:
1. Don’t direct link. Seriously, don’t waiste my bandwidth, or yeah. If something has been direct linked, I will delete it without warning and change its location, that way you’ll lose the image.
2. Don’t steal, trade, etc. Don’t claim these as your own. Not joking!
3. Don’t [...]

Making Bold Claims: The Wrong Way

Some time in 2005 I passed comment on a website. A website that loaded so terribly in Firefox — well, any browser that wasn’t IE actually — that I was rendered speechless. I know! Me! Speechless! It’s as if pigs had learnt to fly and my cold frosty heart melted a little.
OK, maybe not so [...]

How to Look Like a Total Twat

Step one: Go to your local friendly coding help request forum, e.g. CodeGrrl. Staffed voluntarily, out of enjoyment of the subject matter.
Step two: Only ever post requests for help
Step three: Leave abuse — because Googling “implementing a php captcha” is too damned strenuous.
Tada! Steps complete: you now look like a cunt.

Someone Want To Fill Me In?

I’ve just got online — it’s 7:30pm — after having spent most of the afternoon in garden centre type places looking for plants for my front garden. It’s north-facing so shadowy and damp most of the time, which presented a bit of a problem (I’ve brought back some Fuschia).
Anyway, upon opening my inbox I find [...]

Seen on a Forum

Backstory.. I’m being insulted, and called a boy (again) because I dared criticise xoxmariah.com’s shitty excuse for a website. A few people add their tuppence worth, some of which I’m saving for another day, and then…

Person A: “I know! Jem thinks she’s a smart ass know it all. She is a meany! I know a [...]