Goodbye, Vaarwel, etc

…to 2016, that is.

I figured as I only blogged once in December 2015, and that was to moan about catastrophe upon catastrophe, that I should try and out-do myself this December while I still have time and blog twice! Go me. Getting it in at the last minute (ooer) has long been my style, of course.

I vaguely remember telling myself at the beginning of the year that I wouldn’t set any goals or resolutions because I needed a year to take things at my own pace after a chaotic 2015. I’d like to tell you that worked out great but in reality it means I have no yard stick for measuring my successes and failures (and I certainly didn’t manage to take things at my own pace).

Still, I don’t need a yard stick to acknowledge that I FUCKING GOT MARRIED. YEAH BOY. We didn’t quite run off to do it, but we did do it mostly in secret. And then had a massive party of course.

I also did some other slightly less life-changing things like volunteering, going to the gym, coming to terms with my PMDD diagnosis and trying different things to get it under control, got sterilised, voted Remain (and despaired at those who didn’t), spent too much money, lost and gained far too many animals, and did a 300ft bungee jump. Phew.

I also, for some absurd reason, applied to take part in a marathon, which brings me nicely on to Things I Plan on Doing in 2017:

  • Not dying, which is important given the trend 2016 set
  • Running a marathon, mofos
  • Learning Dutch, because when half your family speaks both Dutch and English there’s no excuse for not trying
  • Getting strict with my routine so that I can try and bring some control to my projects and their social media profiles (yeah yeah, been saying this for years) in an attempt to actually make some money with them alongside my Real Work
  • Decide what the fuck I’m doing with my career / “Real Work”
  • Did I mention running a friggin’ marathon?!!

Will I manage any of those things? Who knows. But no doubt I’ll eventually blog about them, so here’s to you lot reading my blog through 2017 folks. Happy new year, and all that!

AMA: What gets you out of a funk?

I was going to answer my AMA questions in the order they were asked, but having not long come out of a pretty rough few days or so I figured now would be the perfect time to answer Kelly’s question: What gets you out of a funk? The reality with PMDD, which is the root… read full entry »

Stardew Valley Hints & Tips

There are many ‘obvious’ elements to Stardew Valley that took me an incredibly long time to notice/learn. Hopefully by noting down some of the bits n bobs here, other players will catch on quicker (and other players can fill in gaps!) — Stardew Valley, drawing inspiration from classics such as Harvest Moon, is an open-ended… read full entry »

AMA: Comprehensive list of animals (cat pics yay)

So, the first (proper) question in my recent ‘AMA’ was from Melissa, who asked: Can you provide a comprehensive list of all your animals with names + types + breeds? And also how you manage your litter box organization! ^_^ Now, there should be a page for this, but every time I work on my… read full entry »


Once upon a time I spent many, many hours imparting my wisdom on a range of topics – from web development to security, breastfeeding to working from home as a parent and a huge variety of things in between. Unfortunately I seem to have got sucked into using my blog as an outlet for my… read full entry »

Children’s birthday parties are exhausting

That’s it. The milestone I was dreading has come and gone. We have a lot of ‘seven’ left to go, but that initial mountain has been climbed and conquered. Not made any easier by the organisation of the birthday party, because some bright spark thought that’d be a great idea. For some reason, when I… read full entry »


My daughter turns seven years old on Monday. It’s a milestone I’ve been dreading for some years. Seven years old. I have organised a party. A disco with music and lights. I’ve bought glow sticks, I’m making a buffet and building a rainbow My Little Pony layer cake. I’ve told her to invite all her… read full entry »

All the meat, and Age UK Leeds Abbey Dash 10k

I travelled up to Leeds with Gaz to see my brother at the weekend, figuring I should probably make the effort as we’re getting close to C.. Chr… nope, can’t say it. We celebrated our mutual awesomeness by booking a meal at Fazenda, a Brazillian Rodízio style restaurant. In case you have no idea what… read full entry »

How is babby formed?

You’d think at my age — and with two children — I’d know how babies are made. And yet despite pet-owning for some 15 years or more without incident we’ve had an oopsy-daisy surprise pet pregnancy here at Chez Jem. My famous guinea pig, Spot, managed to impregnate Sprite (who I alluded to rescuing in… read full entry »

The one where I enter a marathon

Last week I entered a marathon. Yes, me, the person who runs slow AF half marathons on no training because it seems like too much effort. I have entered a bloody marathon. And not just ANY marathon, oh no. I have entered the “How Hard Can It Be” May the 4th be with you trail… read full entry »

Opening night at Novello Lounge, Telford

For a large town, Telford has a pretty poor nightlife. With an estimated population of 155,000 (according to Wikipedia), which makes it the largest town in Shropshire, it beggars belief that we Telfordians have to travel to Bridgnorth, Shrewsbury and beyond if we want a few cocktails and some decent music to start a night out…. read full entry »