It’s only been 3 days and apparently the role of a single person — single parent — is to have one’s feelings dictated: I’m not allowed to feel what I want to feel.
Oh you must be so sad
I know you’re just hanging on for the kids
Don’t worry, you’ll get back together when you’ve had a little break
& so on…
And I’m not sad, and I’m not ‘just’ hanging on for the kids, and I’m not planning on getting back together with Karl, and yet this gets the look. The raised eyebrow. The “there there dear” pat on the shoulder.
I am angry. I am lost in a world where the ‘me’ that everyone knows is defined by my relationship and my past. I am feeling exposed and vulnerable because everything that gives me comfort and keeps me secure is flailing in the wind.
But I am not fucking sad.