I’m taking a moment to moan.

“What’s new?” I hear you cry!

I know, I know, so much for the ‘Acknowledge one positive from every day’ goal in 13 things for 2013 (and I still haven’t told you what I decided to do for #13!)

Must fix the tiny text on that post. And the tabindex thing, as that’s intensely irritating. Anyway, where was I…

I’m just under a wee bit of pressure at the minute. Turns out that trying to raise 2 children, start a new ‘business’ & trying to fit a full days work in to max 3hrs of an evening don’t actually go that well together. Even worse, when something goes tits up as has done day after day recently – teething, cold, teething, another cold, more teething (and that’s just Oliver, let’s not get into Izz & her colds, irregular withholding and now bloody conjunctivitis too) – that tight squeeze, that just-about-grasping-on-to-sanity thing comes crashing down around your ears and there’s bugger all you can do about it.

I am so grumpy lately. Proper shouty grumpy, saying things in front of the kids I wouldn’t normally, and probably shouldn’t be saying (may include words beginning with F). I’ve said things TO the kids I wouldn’t normally say (stop bloody whining, just go to frigging sleep, etc etc).

I should be working now, obviously, but if I don’t take 10 minutes to sit down and ramble tonight I think I may explode. That can’t be a good thing.

I’ve a couple of projects both several months behind, poorly kids, Karl going through a major upheaval at work, I go days without adult conversation, and I can’t switch off at night. It feels quite strange to be complaining about a situation that many wish to be in: too much work. 2 beautiful, amazing, funny children. A partner who is still here after all these bloody years (although after making ZERO effort on Mother’s Day, he’s lucky about that one).

I could take on less work, turn things down, pass things on, but that’s not going to pay my bills, is it?

Still, it could be worse. And I think I’ve learnt more in the past 9 months of self-employment than I did in nearly 10 years as an employee, so that’s nice. Or something.

I guess what I need to do now is find that mysterious work-life balance. What is that again?

Comments

  1. says

    I still maintain it’s next to impossible to do the kind of work you and I do from home without childcare. (Maybe unless you have a child that naps reliably for 3+hrs per day? I don’t know.) I’m actually really impressed that you get as much done as you do, truly.

    I know that’s not a lot of help, but you’re trying to do two jobs (or more!) in the space of one, and that’s bound to be frustrating. Especially when one of the jobs involves small, sick/cranky children.

    Is there any way you could set up a passive income stream somehow? Selling a minimal WordPress plugin on CreativeMarket or something? It might not make a bundle but it could be a source of revenue that doesn’t need much attention outside of the initial development.

  2. says

    I think I’ve suggested this before, but what about employing a junior to do some of the more mundane coding work? You would still make a cut of profits, and it would free up some of your time.

  3. says

    Parenting is hard and working is also hard. There are ups and downs to every situation. A person who was single and free and had no kids can complain about how he can’t find a spouse, but has none of the burdens that come with being a parent and having a family, so he’d just have different complaints from you. We’re all with you. It’s okay to moan and complain sometimes.

  4. Mumblies says

    You will get through this and in the meantime there is always the bonkers Bignanny to help as and where she can :)

  5. Kelly says

    Ok, so I sometimes sound like a bit of a prick when I say this to people but have you thought of hiring a cleaner? We do it at my house – generally speaking she comes in a cpl of times a week and gets the major jobs done (washing, hoovering, clearing backlog of dishes, etc). Because she doesn’t have children running around after her can get everything done in a cpl of hours. We also employ her directly on little more than minimum wage so it doesn’t cost that much (I think something like £50/week). It means when I get home from work I can look after the little ones and my wife gets 3 – 4 hours to herself in the evening as neither of us are stressed about chores.

    Obviously has complications and not suitable for everyone but as your home is your place of work the cost is reclaimable against corporate tax so an instant 20% saving. If you have a good accountants they will take care of payroll, etc for you – if not you can easily buy an off the shelf package from somone like Tempo Accounting for a small fee per month.

    Pros & cons but may help if you need exttra time in the day.

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