Identity Crisis

I’m having a blog identity crisis.

My blog turned 11 years old at the end of last month. Eleven years of writing, recording, growing, maturing – some of it is lost but the majority of which is here for everyone to see, read, judge.

Instead of making plans to celebrate the occasion I’ve been making plans to move on. Badgered by a past of Pants and PHP and “the e-famous girl who ruled the blogosphere” (not my words) & I’m not really any of those people any more. The Pants lost their novelty, the PHP is strictly work and it’s amazing how quickly one loses their childless following when the only thing they’ve posted about that week is poop.

Except I can’t do it. I can’t move somewhere else, I can’t remove years and years of being me; even hidden away I’d still be the same person and people would still remember.

So here I sit in blog limbo, having a little identity crisis, wondering how I move on from this feeling of being lost at sea.

23 Comments

  1. Stop bloody whinging. ;) And you wonder why I can only occasionally bring myself to look at my own site. I’m not the same person who started that one, either.

  2. Your Granddad is a writer, even after all these years he’s still doing it so therefore I am sure this writers block will pass soon enough. Just try not to think about it so much and I am certain you will soon be bashing that keyboard again. :)x

  3. If I was the same person I was 11 years ago I’d be very surprised. I’d also have been 14 haha.
    Things change, you change and just keep being you and saying what you want to say when you want to say it – don’t pressure yourself into writing for writing’s sake…unless you’re being paid to do so ;)

    • Jem

      10 May at 4:12 pm

      You should have a read through my archives and see some of the crap I spouted back then ;)

      I wish I was paid to write this crap, ha.

  4. I’ve been in that limbo period for ages. I tried SO HARD to get out of it, even doing that NaBloPoMo wotsit last year, but it kind of felt… fake, like I was trying to be a former self that I just wasn’t. And yet, I also can’t close that chapter of my life. I changed domains and deleted a lot of entries, but still I couldn’t let go of the whole ‘I must have a personal site’ thing, even though I never use it. Urgh, life :P

  5. I know the feeling, I had an e-dentity crisis that lasted probably a year or more when my life changed. Now my old home blog is mostly literature stuff because that’s what I do now and I have a separate place for artsy stuff. You’ll figure out what you want this place to be, but I’m glad you’re still writing in some way because I feel like we haven’t completely lost touch when I read your posts.

    • Jem

      10 May at 4:13 pm

      Brigitte <3 we go so far back!

      I've tried to split off some things into separate blogs but that just leaves multiple blogs not updated instead of just the one XD

      • Jem

        10 May at 4:15 pm

        In fact maybe that’s it. Maybe the pressure of having all of these sites is making it worse – maybe I need to do the opposite and bring everything together again?!

        • every time I try to hive a bit off it gets neglected. Bring them together and be all of you.

          11 years? Wow. And I thought I was doing well with 10.

          Have you really disabled email subscriptions or is feedburner just hating on me tonight?

        • Jem

          11 May at 8:51 am

          Oh bugger, I knew I’d forgotten to do something (I moved to feedblitz and forgot to update the subscription code)

  6. Ah Jem, the e-famous & e-to be scared of girl ;) (not anymore though – at least the to be scared of part)
    With jebelle.net, I had an identity crisis and let it expire and I regreted it a few months later (after someone else bought that domain). 1,5 years after my last blog post I decided I miss designing and blogging and started a new blog with a new domain name (though I’m waiting to maybe get jebelle back).
    But – it’s so much fun to click “May 2006” and read what I’ve posted there. I think :)
    A new domain name and layout is a good start and you’ll keep jemjabella anyway, right? But then, I never identified myself so much to my domain name like you. I switched domain name a couple of times.
    Hm, I really don’t know what I’m trying to say… also if you’re not the person you used to be years ago it still is your online diary, your blog, your domain. And I just think it’s nice to see domains which I’ve visited years ago still exist and are being updated.

    • Jem

      11 May at 11:17 am

      Tracy, good to hear from you :)

      I think you’re right about my domain name being linked to my identity, and I am still “jemjabella” so I think if I were to move away from that I’d only come back to it. I think changing the layout up a bit, refreshing the content, getting things more organised might be the way to go for now.

  7. I once had a blog post very similar to this one. When I blogged at KristinyMD, I was experiencing an identity crisis because I decided on changing my career path. I felt like blogging at KristinyMD was something I did not want to keep doing so I bought a new domain. I then realize I did not want to start with a clean slate at Kristology, so I kept all my KMD posts and transferred them. The old posts from KMD will always be a great reminder of the challenges I have faced. I guess I am sentimental that way.

    It’s okay to have old posts that go way back; they’re just old memories and may or may not correspond with who you are now.

    • Jem

      11 May at 11:18 am

      Great point – “The old posts from KMD will always be a great reminder of the challenges I have faced” – exactly why I couldn’t delete my archives. They teach me to keep growing I think.

  8. Who doesn’t have a blog crisis at least once in their blogging life?! I recently revamped my blog to make it for suitable for its current purpose and at the same time I restricted my archives to interesting stuff. I filtered out all the crap even I find boring to read nowadays (plus, my English from 7 years ago was abysmal). I will probably neglect my blog again soon, but at least I have made it a prettier place to post my reviews of books, movies, TV shows or life events in general.

    • Jem

      11 May at 9:49 pm

      I suppose I should be glad that after 11 years I’ve not had more of these blog “funk” moments and deleted the whole lot or something daft.

      I definitely need to filter out some crap I think!

  9. Ah, I experienced this. I deleted Break the Sky and moved to blogging at my name domain, but after a year I realized that decision never felt quite right and I ended up undoing all that work and moving BACK to Break the Sky… and here I am now. :P Thank goodness I had kept those archives saved!

    • Jem

      12 May at 4:15 pm

      I honestly think this is what I’d end up doing. Best to save time and just sit tight, right? Heh.

      I’ve started fiddling with pages etc over here and redoing some content so hopefully that’s enough to keep me occupied for the time being.

  10. I have exactly the same problem. I moved more into the web/domaining side of things, so my blog audience is 50% male domainers/web entrepreneurs in their 30s and 40s, and 50% female bloggers in their 20s. The former want web tips, the latter want my life updates (2001 legacy), so it’s tough! I split the homepage into two halves and did some WP shenanigans to automate by category, but I’m still not 100% convinced it was the best thing to do :/

    • Jem

      13 May at 4:44 pm

      I’ve thought about doing the same thing with categories but I worry people just won’t know where to look rather than looking at the “right” things.

      I’m glad to break the mold reading your blog as a 20 something female web entrepreneur ;)

  11. To be honest with you, your long past with “ruling the blogosphere” was basically the reason why out of the blue I thought suddenly, “Hey I wonder what’s going on with jemjabella and if she’s still on the interwebs?” and found myself here again. And it’s crazy to see you’re a mom and all that jazz!!! :O I just wanted to let you know that, in my personal opinion, although your domain’s content is quite different now…I’m just glad to see you’re still around and still going strong! It’s been a long time and everyone changes, so why shouldn’t your domain be able to change with you? :) Anyway, keep going strong and keep doing what you love!