What is it about crying that makes it so hard to listen to? The sound? The knowledge that someone we love is in pain?

I’ve heard far too much crying this week. One overtired, teething babe who won’t feed because his gums hurt, so he cries because he’s hungry which makes him tired which makes him cry all the more. One overwrought little girl going through a room change at nursery (moving up from toddler room to preschool) who is so bothered by change that her world seems to fall apart; taking out her frustration and worries on the people she can trust are a constant.

I’ve been pretty close to breaking point myself this week. I never thought I would get to the stage where I’d have to put down a crying baby to walk away, but it’s happened twice in the space of a few days. Tall glass of cold water, punch a pillow… something. Then return, cuddle, rock, sing, jiggle, sway, babble… anything to stop the mind wandering into RAGE SHUT THE FUCK UP RAGEEEE territory. That’s not a nice thought.

We’re ok. They’re ok. I’ll probably be ok after another glass of wine.

Comments

  1. says

    So have been there. When we brought our second home, she was inconsolable one night and I found myself asking her to just please shut up. I feel so terrible about it now :(

  2. mumblies says

    You are not alone Jem, I am certain that every mother has/is going through the exact same turmoil as you are right now. The hormones racing around your body ensure that when your offspring cries you come and do whatever it needs to survive. This is sadly nothing you can avoid nor change… you just have to wade through and cope as you can. I went through this exact problem myself with Ian, his tears and tantrums still haunt my dreams asking me did I do what was needed or did I fail in some way, I was alone during this time, no friends to turn to, no supporting Mum/family or internet to gain information from either. Remember that you are not alone – we will all come and help whenever you need us. I know your policy of not using Calpol or similar to help soothe a teething baby but sometimes you just have to give in and use it; if only to prevent you from losing your sanity and help pacify Ollie long enough for you to escape the cries and grab a quick cuppa. I know these times are horrendously hard sometimes to get through but this is how Nature intended. Every step you take makes you stronger and more able to cope and to protect your babies from the world. Oh, and another thing; the walk away rage thing, we all do that too. Accept help where it’s offered instead of sticking your stubborn head in under the blanket of sand and you may even find that you can get a smile on your face. You have not failed and you will get through this.

  3. says

    You are not a bad mother for this. Every mother has been there. I remember my mother saying unkind things to me because she lost it, but what was more important was how she handled it after — some cool down time, a hug, a very sincere apology. And I’m fine (shh, keep your snotty comments to yourself!). And Izzy and Olly will be just fine, too. You are not traumatizing them by feeling the rage, by leaving them alone for a moment to pull yourself together. Hugs, love.

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