Karl has been telling people with great glee how the supposed ‘terrible twos’ had obviously skipped over us. Unfortunately, I think the great god of toddler tantrums has been listening and has decided to smite us with a great big shitty stick because our cute little well behaved (albeit mischevious) Isabel has suddenly turned into an absolute monster.

Her little “no *giggle*” which came before mock-defiance (easy to get round/distract) has turned into a well-rounded, full bodied, oozing with stubbornness ‘NO’ followed by screaming bloody murder if you even attempt to cajole, tempt or force her into something. My usual win-win parenting method of “choose your battles” has turned into “everything is a battle”: each step of our typical morning and evening routines — the supposed lifeblood of toddlers — a fight to the end.

I don’t believe that children are inherently naughty and I don’t believe that toddlers have the capacity to manipulate for the sake of manipulating. I know that for toddlers this is all about expression, and that gentle parenting ‘experts’ will have you believe that if you repress it now it will only serve to bite you in the arse at a later date. However, that doesn’t help when it’s 7:40, she’s only half dressed and she should be on her way to nursery with dad by now.