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Gordon Brown Says Nah
I am sure the majority of you are absolutely oblivious to the fact that there’s been a bit of excitement (hah) in British politics this past week or so. Rumours were flying about whether or not our PM — Gordon Brown — would call a general election or not. Brown (rightfully so, in my opinion) decided not to call an election and now his main rival David Cameron (that chap with the huge white undies who said that divorcing parents created an underclass) has decided that in doing so, Brown is “treating the British people as fools”.
Actually — and I don’t even like Gordon Brown — I think it’s Cameron treating the nation as fools. By making derogatory remarks about our PM he’s trying to undermine the confidence in those who believe in Brown’s abilities. A low tactic to make himself seem like some sort of superior choice and therefore worth voting for, that will only work on those with less than 2 brain cells to rub together. It almost reminds me of the school yard from my early years.
It’s all a load of bollocks of course, and I think I should become the next Prime Minister. I wouldn’t have to vote for either of them then. My policies would include free pants awards for all where necessary, and compulsory subscription to the jemjabella feed. Sounds like a good plan to me.
Bloody Maniac Drivers
One of the questions I get asked most in life — aside from “why are you so brilliant Jem?” — is why don’t I drive? Apart from the obvious, in that I can see my work front door from my front door, I really don’t think the world needs another maniac on the road.
On Sunday as Karl and I were on our way to my Mum’s, we pulled up at the traffic lights on a large roundabout as the lights changed to green. Just as Karl put his foot on the accelerator to pull off, some total tosser in a flash new Jaguar came out of nowhere, jumped the red light that should stop the cars approaching our junction and nearly ran in to the front of the car.
This evening, on the way back from my Mum’s (I had to pick up some parcels; a new t-shirt or two) a couple of cars overtook Karl on a sharp U-turn bend. Now, this is not new because Karl drives at the speed limit. It’s because of this obviously crazy (rolling my eyes here) attention to the law that means we get 400 miles to a tank of petrol.
Anyway, I’m getting sidetracked… we’re just coming off this bend as we’re overtaken by two boyracers obviously playing kiss-chase. Fair enough. Except, that’s not enough because approaching another blind right-hand bend a ponced-up Fiat decides to thrash it past us. We laughed as the traffic lights ahead changed to red and the first two drivers slammed on their brakes but to my horror, the Fiat overtook the two barely-stopped cars, running the very obviously RED light!
What the hell is it with these stupid asshole drivers? And people feel the need to ask why I don’t drive…
Britney Spears Loses Her Children
I’ve just heard that Britney Spears has lost custody of her children to her (ex?) husband K-Fed. Now, I don’t know much about all that’s gone on with her but for a judge to hand over custody to the father over the mother, she must have done something pretty screwed up. I’m sure many of us know how biased the family law system can be!
Oh well, I hope for the sake of those poor kids that they’re in safe hands, and that Spears can take the necessary steps to regain her 50% custody. I can’t stand the woman’s celebrity “persona” but those babies need all the love they can get.
My name is Jem, & I once told the world I'd never become a "mommy blogger" ... then I had a baby. Now I talk about boobs and poo and other inane mummy stuff. 
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